BREAKING NEWS FROM THE BUNDESTAG AND E.U COMMISSION

In the latest news from the Bundestag, the German government has declared that from now on it is ‘sunny and 20 degrees celcius every day’in Germany, and the other lands that have passed ‘Its a sunny day denial laws’. The Anti-Sunny Day Defamation league is recruiting right now for a hugely obese director’…And in the first case of ‘sunny day denial’ laws being prosecuted, a scientist who took measurements with a temperature gauge over several days, and thus, in his own words, ‘proved this every day is sunny and 20 degrees hoax to be a fraud’, was beaten by a group of ‘sunny day believers’…when he sought to have his assaulters charged, he was himself arrested, and placed in detention in the maximum security facility at … to await trial under the new laws…he faces up to 10 years in jail…When his lawyer attempted to have his documentation introduced as evidence, she was herseslf charged with ‘too vigorously defending a sunny day denier’, and placed in detention…she faces up to 10 years in prison also, and has had her license to practise law revoked, by unanimous approval, by the Law society, who expressed disbelief that ‘a trained professional’ would support such marvellous claims as ‘It was 15 degrees and overcast on November 21… When the law states clearly that ‘It is sunny every day, and 20 degrees celcius’….there are doubts about her sanity…a lawyer of all people … she should know better…than to believe such nonsense…she of all people…she must KNOW that the LAW states clearly that every day is sunny and 20 degrees…earlier in the day warrants were issued against clothing suppliers who were manufacturing ‘cold weather clothing’ for ‘sunny day denial’…in future anyone caught ‘hording’ ‘cold weather clothing’ of any kind will face criminal charges of ‘sunny day denial’, according to an official spokesperson for hte Bundestaag, and the newly formed ‘anti-sunny day denial’ defamation league has expressed concerns about a ‘huge surge in sunny day denial’, and called upon educational authoritiest to increase their efforts at ensuring children ‘get the message’ that ‘it is sunny and 20 degrees every day’…Child protection authorities have also begun removing children from the families of ‘sunny day every day denial parents’, in order to protect them. The children will go through a thorough ‘re-education program’ to ‘correct’ the wilfully erroneous brainwashing they have received from their ‘sunny day denier’ parents… many who claim that a conspiracy exists to suppress what they call a ‘growing body of objective scienntific evidence that conclusively proves a conspiracy to propagate the lie that ‘it is sunny every day, and 20 degrees’. A recent alternative media presenter quipped, live on air…barely able to keep a straight face…’yes, and they claim that until a few days ago anyone could go into a shop and buy something called a ‘temperature guage’ with which they could measure, FOR THEMSELVES mind you…the air temperature. As if such devices EVER existed. These people need to be locked up for their own protection. The presenter himself had earlier been heavily criticised for claiming, live on air, that ‘there used to be segments after every news broadcast called ‘The weather report’, in which experts made ‘forecasts’ about what the next days weather would be…’ I mean, how ludicrous…when we ALL know that tomorrow, as every day, it will be 20 degrees celcius and sunny ‘…He however, made it clear to his millions of ‘alternative viewer fans’ that he wanted to distance himself as far as possible from such obviously deluded ‘tin foil hat conspiracy theorists’…and hinted at their affiliation with a well known criminal regime of the 20th century…In other news, hospitals have been inundated with victims of an inexplicably virulent summer flu virus, which leaves victims feeling very cold …

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