June 27, 2011, everything else(?) compiled

Posted on June 27, 2009. Filed under: A taste of TROONATNOOR |

illusion can earn approval/acceptance…more significantly, love, affection…it is given or not at all…the worst people are showered with love and affection, and the best, ethically, rejected and abandoned…facts of life… can earn some things, but others must be given, and are not given based on anything to do with fairness, justice,

 

next idea : see gorgeous young girl – assume great life etc- he moves on, and she walks with ’49 yard stare’ into moving bus i.e commits suicide cos so miserable

 

next idea : Char hears sirens etc sleepily, which wakes him/her up…irritated, but with sympathy for whoever might be in trouble etc i.e who for?…sirens stop right next to character…suddenly realises that it is they themselves who are the ‘victim’ i.e have fallen asleep at the wheel…ambulance and police coming for them! end surprisingly misleading appearances

 

In zoo, aviary, EP mimics parrots movements i.e develop rapport…senses that doing so sign of empathy i.e bird enjoys interaction…saddens that intelligent creature imprisoned and enslaved…no hope of freedom or joy of living…mere existence as exhibit…so wrong…just saddens when not enraging…i.e doomed to life of prison just so humans can observe it for a few seconds, maximum minutes, of their own lives…

 

EP: she inhaled deeply…he smelt of money, security, huge expensive kitchens, luxury hotels, and babies, expensive private schools, long holidays…

 

EP different cat laying in grass, looking up at little blue-bird on power line…seemed to have each others attention…like raven and other cat and telegraph pole EP saved butterfly, but raised deep questions i.e had one day to live? Worth saving for that? But all live is moments…and all in vain as death inevitable…so only have moments…

 

Nitrogen: musical anthem for euthenasia movement (re: jarre’s ‘oxygen).

 

EP: genuine attempt to save ‘daddy long legs’ spider sitting on side of full bathtub…it falls it…so pours it into cup, then gentle pours out on window-shelf…blows water off…trying to free it from drowning, and then gently moving its legs into more natural position, but it doesn’t move…then next day kills one a bit bigger, as seems to pose a potential threat…killed as quick as possible to minimise suffering…

 

EP: open window to let fly out…won’t go…stubborn…more come in…so must kill little shit…won’t be reasonable…

 

EP: sees spider on bath edge, tries to pick up, get to climb onto something, but it falls into bath…he scoops it out with cup, and pours it onto shelf, trying to blow water off it, then move it from water, put down on dry window sill…blowing on, gently rearranging its daddy long legs…it looks inert…feels bad…if he’d left maybe had been better off…??? we are little different from mosquitoes and flies frantically seeking their ends before dieing…a tale told by an idiot… Sailors often commented that it was better not to learn to swim, as only prolonged the agony of drowning…i.e better to drown quickly than struggle pointlessly in open ocean, or die on floating debris etc … analogy for most lives?….especially as drowning reproduce selves and situation over generations i.e extend agony over generations not just days… People leaving rubbish on ground a meter or so from rubbish bins…on new lovely park grounds… EP: the cat moved from motion film to still-frame…fluid stop w/o stopping…merely ceasing to be moving from one moment to next without any sign of having stopped…mere discontinuation of movement…poised…minutes…. i.e cat stood ‘still’ so long/effortlessly motionless change from movement to non-movement…poetic…and later in day looked up from below my window, its eyelids slowly half-opening-closing…and later saw same look in my mirrored reflection…look of desperation/imploring/hoping…and had seen same (?) in some females eyes…and white froth (?) around mouth/nose…I was sick myself…some summer-flu or bug…and didn’t want to be needed (cat seemed to need me) so went back to sofa…hoping the cat would go…not be there later…also tail raggedy…not healthy looking i.e healthy cat constantly grooms self (didn’t really think about possibility had rabies!) EP: fly circling frantically…sets nerves off…like wind banging … stubborn, relentless, frantic/manic activity…too stubborn to leave when opened window and tried to wave out…direct out….lead out…now had to kill…pointless, frantic drama…like tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury…irriation/stress/frustration/pain for no reason…just evolutionary binge and purge…why bother with life at all?…if only few if any have life worth living… Traffic lights and traffic…traffic of red tail lights pulsing through the streets to the beat of traffic lights i.e speed up aerial footage of traffic…looks like red blood corpuscles carrying oxygen through the circulatory system…we can see…but how would red blood cell experience? Like us in our cars in traffic? next idea : he called, with trepidation and some hope,… she picked up…the cold neutrality -disinterest-harsh monotone of her / in her voice, left a brutal emptiness in his gut which wrenched like a void through his soul and future…making all his efforts worthless – raping his life of any value or meaning, of all hope and faith…he apologised if he was bothering her (obviously he was, but what else to say)…was she just being a bitch deliberately? to get back at an inattentive etc father, or her controlling mother? or the boyfriend who cheated on her? ….anyway, it killed all life in him…why bother trying, working, sweating…what all for? to be alone, cold, aching for love? …it made work boring, glaringly meaningless concentration and focus, all just to pay the rent, bills…to make others richer…support other’s ‘lifestyles’. In occasional fleeting moments he could still manage to dream (as if a temporary lapse in memory of his life allowed it) …he could still manage to reconstruct dreams / ambitions he had glimpsed as a child, when the world was unformed and unfixed and still open to hopes and plans, before it closed in in drudgery and hopelessness, when you still were ignorant enough to believe you could escape what those around you were ‘living’, when you still appeared to have ‘options’ other than your parents….life robbed you of even the calm / time / space you needed to dream…constantly demanding you focus on pointless valueless dull things….alchohol and drugs and desperate pleasureless sex were cruelly inadequate substitutes for ‘lifestyle’, for genuine authentic affection and erotic…and we dare not mention…love (movies stars fell in love!)…you could only afford that if you were a beautiful girl or rich guy…trust , warmth, tenderness? …girls used men for status and luxury and good times, and to pay for motherhood, and family…men could only bother with all the collateral effort for genuine lust…neither were ever really satisfied…she wouldn’t be true, his efforts only ‘bought’ him casual / temporary reprieve from the empty coldness of loneliness…and his lust would betray him anyway, all he had paid so dearly for seemed in time a shappy ill-advised investment in bloating, falling, flabbing, flesh…the appearences all grew thin with use and repetition-transparency was ugly…a quid pro quo, a utility transposed from sentiment to harsh exchange economy with familiarity…yes but not fully contempt…at least one of them usually maintained some sentiment…if only for the sentiment…and they crashed on into the next best person / relationship…and this brought the real contempt…for denial, for self-delusion…but who could hold out for long in the ‘ordinary’ world emptied free of all romantic myth and faith and lies…you go mad…addicted..or kill yourself…its too brutal and eviscerating and cold and …you have to subcribe at some level to sentimental aspirations, hopes, dreams of affection, trust, value- or die next idea : had gotten up…why couldn’t even sleep well? I.e neck and couldn’t get pillows right…had coffee, exercised, coffee, porn and wank, … clock on vcr haunted him … it said 10:05 am – challenge/threat- how to endure time till 5pm programming made tv bearable, and distracted him, engaged him again….then till 11pm sleep again…and tomorrow loomed as a threat already i.e how to endure tomorrow….same old … had 2 hours guitar practise…but sometimes left this till so late in the day (i.e didn’t want to use up this productive diversion from the rest of the day too quickly i.e it was a resource, something to look forward to, like he did food, depriving himself of food all day so he had something to look forward to, and could eat heartily and enjoy it rather than little unsatisfying meals..without getting fat) that he didn’t have the energy in the end to actually practise, and he felt guilty and depressed i.e hadn’t been productive….usually walked to supermarket hunting for cheap markdowns, and getting some social interaction i.e check-out chicks…though hated when they were there too often i.e would realise he came everyday, and know how cheap he was too! … job center was only other social interaction…he often felt like a pariah at both, if the same people were there and realised he was there every day etc…….How had he gotten here? He had studied hard and gotten good grades…sacrificed etc etc …only to become a threat to his co-workers and supervisors and management…morally, ego, competence wise etc etc could he build up the motivation to even bother shaving… next idea : Ants drowning literally in a drop of water (which then evaporates or ‘moves’ on after they are dead, leaving them dead there) on wall tiles etc of bathroom..in Molle St Like the spider’s victim that is eaten alive, unable to die, we endure the suffering of our lives, paralyzed by a fear of death. next idea : women in kumi city, korean silicone valley, washing clothing in stream just on fringe of downtown next idea : bankok, train, how precious water seemed, how beautiful and lovely…as had one bottle that had to last until destination, next idea : south-east london suburb…houses flowed down street, rose and fell like the swell of surf…all houses the same i.e uniform next idea : Ants (again) drawn to electric kettle- and their destruction … why? ….frustration at stupidity of universe end up giving up and just killing them all i.e universe so stupid and ugly and dumb…nothing for them there,senseless…what expecting to find there? all pointless, can’t reason (analogy for us?)…ants pissed him off…why fuckers don’t just go back and tell everyone ‘nothing to eat’ and stay away as you’ll get killed etc…but wouldn’t, so had to go on with the slaughter…universe so fucked – to produce life just so stupidly to let it suffer i.e dumn design next idea : Mozzies i.e satisfaction at finding dead remnant of mozzie, after being pissed off all night, hot

and sweating, with mozzy buzzing and biting…him swinging for anything, whacking self in head trying to get mozzzy, …like hearing test…concentrating hard to hear approaching buzz, sometimes mistaking distant truck for mozzy, determined not to let mozzy get away with ruining his nights sleep…everytime hair flicks up off body could be mozzy, has to awkwardly and tiredly smack at i.e try to stay dozy but still get mozzy…what pisses off is that he has taken every precaution to keep mozzies out i.e closed windows, flyscreens etc…still bastards go to all lenghts to get him, to ruin his nights sleep…if it would just bite his foot, get a feed and be off it would be o.k, but it bites him all over, and keeps coming back…and what for? just to survive long enough (a few days? or hours) to reproduce and continue the attacks…why? what benefit does the mozzy get for living? what justifies ruining his nights sleep…life has so little to offer, and a nights sleep is about the best his life offers him…gets up really mad, turns on light, pissed off swearing at mozzy, can’t find it, goes back to bed, …. of course buzzing starts up just as get comfy… next idea : star atop xmas tree beating frantically like the chest of a terrified bird trapped in the jaws of my pet cat next idea : frustration with ants (universe) – just wiped away, killed – stupid, ugly universe – ants had no life satisfaction, etc and most humans same i.e and approach to same – annhilate – empathy for i.e resolve their problems i.e no potential for good – just ugly and reproduce ugly stupidness i.e like ants…shiva hindu god of compassion and destruction! i.e destroys out of compassion – shivas enemy is the univers which has no compassion – i.e must become the agent of oblivion / annhilation – elimination 90% of all negative life experience / life forms…to make universe moral etc next idea : protag watching stars in night sky, and suddenly the whole night sky starts spinning wildly and erratically i.e chaos next idea : a life of exclamation marks, or a life of question marks? next idea : girl walked by, her long hair, gently swaying with her graceful hips, the tips sweep across his face…sensual smell of wood, and hope next idea : pretty girl listening to, smiling, sympathetic, …. Idea of someone really caring about you…wonderful warm feeling…smile from inside next idea : he’d avoid contact with malcontents and disgruntled losers etc…then realised one day others doing toward him i.e he had become malcontent loser…he was that person he had avoided having to interact with… next idea : EP: char. buys icecream and tries to enjoy but can’t as experience ruined by car exhaust fumes, people’s bad breath, rotting rubbish, dogshit, etc etc next idea : sinking feeling when have accident, drop something i.e loss i.e stupid loss, cost etc….and taste of pain i.e metallic, like when hit head, just before impact i.e know about to feel great pain… next idea : bird ee ee ee ee ee ee …apparently responding to noise of car starter motor turning over ”aaa aa aa aaa aa “ next idea : Acrid sweet smell/feel of fresh rain on hot concrete next idea : huge socialist apartment blocks in na stoku looked like spanish fortresses on the hilltop, from a small distance below the hill i.e lower ground next idea : follow development of ice overhang…transferred epithets and make into a real drama, like Verdi’s four seasons…build anticipation of impending doom..and when it does fall, it falls not on the bad guy who just passes in time, but the good guy…re: european vs american film…have sub-plots re: why good and why bad..build expectation that bad guy will get his just deserts, and good guy will get rewarded etc…have everyone treat good guy like shit, and rewarding evil guy with affection, love, hot sex, respect, status etc… i.e Universe as A-moral… next idea : Re: ’shape to day’…pointy sharp edges, heavy creases…i.e how ‘crap’ work can be/make you feel…even ’shape’ of commuting by bus/train to work i.e it has a ’shape’ next idea : love is exquisite misery…her hair smellt of youth, of summer, of hope, of dreams that might be fulfilled…of faith in life… next idea : relationship with guitar…savoured/felt when looked at skin toned maple neck, shape, icon, in love, kept in case when first bought so could just open case and savour the look of the thing..a real fetish..terrified to play…felt so soft and hard and comfortable in hand etc …took years to afford/allow self to buy i.e overcome resistance to large cost next idea : rinse off frost from windows with water…it is first clear, then the residual water film freezes to form beautiful ice ‘jungles’ of ferns, palms, tigers, and angels, and fronds, vines… next idea : woman at checkout, with boyfriend, gazed back at me…beautiful green eyes, open face, blonde hair, tall and serene…felt serene, glad, etc thinking of …then thought / imagined that she was his…that she would gaze at him lovingly i.e he could her…which made me depressed i.e he’d love her…I’d never have a woman like her, to gaze in love and adoration at, and have gazing back in love and adoration….but then reflected…if had her, would find her hips too wide etc i.e find some fault (i.e focus on positive of what don’t have, and on negative of what do!) next idea : loved smell of rotting fallen leaves…oak? flametrees? father did too next idea : feeling of taking corner just right i.e motorbike-being one with the bike and the curve i.e the knower and the known and the way of knowing all being one i.e zen! sense of value i.e I can do this excellent thing I have some worth, some value, I will be accepted and valued and esteemed i.e self esteem next idea : guy looks up at night sky…knows all the constellations by heart…a source of real order, control, certainty…then suddenly the star filled sky begins to spin and all order lost…wakes in sweat? next idea : beautiful child..golden hair, big blue-grey eyes, direct gaze, light tan skin, clear complexion, direct open gaze… next idea : cool breeze, so soft and gentle, refreshing, welcome after hot humid night, lying in bed, being caressed by the breeze, and in the bathroom, naked, the breeze caressing your body next idea : parc gaudi…beautiful Spanish guitar playing/music, produces tears at beauty and sadness i.e Barcelona…was protags dream to visit, and feels he could die now dream realised…nothing else to do.. next idea : cool, silky skin…soft, warm, cool…want to be in contact with every mm of skin at once, coiling around each other like two snakes, like cool water flowing around… next idea : holding his partner after ‘no-orgasm’ sex…felt like real barrier between them….i.e cold…even though holding her tight he felt distant, far away next idea : softly incandescent, bright, satin-silk champagne sunrise/sunsest i.e twilight, making ordinary extraordinary… next idea : sudden warm safe bliss-as her hand slips into his-naturally, easily, without warning next idea : Fly shoots maggot into ant in flight…it makes/eats its way to the ants head, then eats its brains… next idea : ants, curled up in agony/ pain etc ? as wipe off bench with towel…total frustration like rage at stupidity of world…no patience for next idea : milky way over kakadu…beautiful orange grass fires in the night, over broad fronts….. next idea : hero has real positive/warm/sentimental moment i.e lost in that moment of bliss and warmth and welcome and sacred connection and ease and peace…and at this time dies, in accident, or during dream…but sweet sad happiness i.e best we can expect from life is this, a good death…like gladiator where he sees his wife and child welcome him home…i.e a coming home, to somewhere safe and welcome and….. next idea : collects broken bottles i.e green glass washed up on beach…sharp edges smoothed by time and sand and water, now round and smooth…like the sharpness/desolation of the pain of lost love, despair, lost hope… next idea : makes icons of St. George embracing the Dragon Vs Killing it! i.e the incorporation of the dragon into his love, his world, his acceptance next idea : prospector for gold/melody etc i.e hit and miss next idea : sweet sleep, total relaxation, total body at ease, well after 8 hrs and dreams and waking mingle, sort of conscious dreaming state so can chose themes eg erotic etc breath comes easy, fingers and toes sort of float in warm silken-ness. face totally relaxed, sweet opium of long sleep, cotton sheets cool and smooth and warm, sensual, soft silken next idea : stayed up, best t.v programs and movies on late and world asleep, not judging you, the night is yours, you don’t have to share the world with the petty, officious, denial, lies…to enjoy tiredness and long sleep..best to force self to stay up till deliciously tired, then let self given into, succumb like gorgeous sweet innocent girl…sheets welcomed, embraced like a gentle lover, lose self in softness, sleeper becomes sleep, embraced becomes embrace, but if dont time right, you get headaches, neck pains etc but if time right, enjoy calm sleepy feeling all day, deep muscle calm, muscles between eyes feel contraction of muscles, deep relaxation…but joints can end up tight, lose balance, easy light breathing, notice tense muscles when do stretching next idea : sometimes didn’t shower, too tired, but also so that he could feel the sensation of being clean after being sticky, sweaty, dirty,… next idea : such a limited/repetitive routine i.e exercise, practise guitar etc that some mornings wasn’t sure if had already exercised etc – seemed like had just finished routine i.e days had no structure, nothing to tell one from the other, … drove mad sometimes – but when work/appointment/sick/travel/homeless etc prevented routine felt totally unproductive i.e other things pretty pointless, guitar and exercise at least produce positive outcomes or potential i.e felt as if had done something for self and future…and

when could once more, felt priveledged etc to be able to i.e nothing get in way others wanting to make their predictable ‘contribution’ i.e finish sentences etc when what they were going to say i.e point were heading too was so obvious…like describing every centimeter of a perfectly flat and straight road …. i.e ad nauseum for him…but people hated not being allowed to finish, or even implicit notion that they were that predictable i.e had nothing to contribute tc…especially bad when talkin about philosophy, as most people merely dogma, conventional arguments of one or other brand that they took as so unique and interesting and compelling as had never really considered alternatives, had no idea about argument construction and how what they were regurgitating had been constructed and what the arguments were expressions of i.e vested interests, self – definitions etc etc quality of his life dependant on the weather (could he tan or not) and the quality of the t.v programs…such a barren life…but if t.v was good, and could get a tan and look good, and flirt or imagine looked good enough that one day some girl might love him…his mood was o.k…but really fragile, got exhausted sometimes at strange times, no real stamina, even though often rode or walked hours…emotional based…and because tried to eat once only per day in evening to try to look good…when hungry could get really agressive and impatient…i.e reality of life was that had no affection, no love, no prospects…was living off dreams and avoiding being enslaved at level available to him … couldn’t imagine wasting life in some mundane job with no chance to really make a contribution, and no reward…just prostitution and repaying debts/loans…with only 4 weeks holiday a year…when knew he had a real contribution to make, one that maybe no-one else could next idea : preferred winter sometimes, as everyone more miserable etc and stayed home…in summer days lasted forever, voids he had nothing to fill with, and people always going out having fun, making his situation the more miserable relatively next idea : in bed, totally relaxed, blood flowed warm and sweet like honey…cloth of bedspread like caress of warm silky skin…blankets and doona wrapped round like caress of lover,soothing, relaxing, but later would get stiff neck,migraine etc … too little breath? next idea : decided to focus on novel i.e to use all feelings and experiences as novel material, to sort of transcend experience i.e make pain somehow productive and constructive…to seek answers in own experience … find expression for…excuse to live on…as long as he had some money, and had freedom to stay or go, to work or sleep, as long as he had time and motivation to work on this positive thing, or anticipated that he would have the energy or motivation if he stayed alive long enough…as long as didn’t have to work hard at being alive i.e actually work, as long as he could sleep when tired, work at music and ideas when had energy, had some t.v to watch, a video, some porn, some cheap food, some walks in the sunshine…some chance to flirt with some pretty girls…some small even if too scared to be spoken aloud or even in his own mind, hope, that things could move in the direction he wanted i.e a life worth living…but as getting older realised, sometimes desperately that he was a loser, sometimes more calmly, that nothing could make up for what he had endured, and that the time of life when one could live was past, even if he did ‘make it big’, which it was harder and harder to convince himself he could i.e more important to believe he could, than actually acheiving…it was the faith that held him together…and when he had no faith, he had nothing…and how could he enjoy being a success, knowing that his luxury would be paid for by the labours and suffering of others…if he ever had money or influence he would have to use it to promote justice etc and wouldn’t be able to live the life of luxury etc as it would be immoral…so he just couldn’t really win… the only way he could win was if he could make everyone win…and now that was a saviour complex…he had no powers, the world was amoral, cruel, indifferent to suffering and what was deserved i.e no karma in this world…and determinism…no-one deserved any more or any less than he did…he resented those who had more, and pitied those who had less…but in the normal scheme of things, if he were to get more, it would have to be at the expense of those who already had less, as you couldn’t appropriate wealth from the powerful and priveldeged … they got it from the downtrodden, by downtreading them, and that was where he would have to get it from too, if he wanted it, and he didn’t know if he could want it that much, and anyway, he didn’t know how to…that was the secret of the priveledged, or simply an inheritance of circumstances and assets which they could build on, or simply consume…n0-one had offered him the chance to exploit anyone…he didn’t know that he wouldn’t take it if offered…he recognised the convenience of not having the oportunities made available, and therefore not having to make the choice…if he was offered enough, he would take it, he was pretty sure, but not convinced, he couldn’t bear to see people suffer, he was born with a complex of responsibility…and he had learnt too much to pretend, to deny the real suffering …. but if he was offered the chance somehow to be slave master rather than slave ( he wouldn’t be slave, and he often considered how as a recipient of govt benefits everyone was effectively his slave, as he ate etc at others expense, without any effort on his part…tho’ of course eventually he got caught up in the net of ‘mutual obligations’ etc and he had to leave one system for another to avoid becoming slave…they only supported him when he wasn’t working to keep him fit for exploitation when they found some way to exploit him) he already had a ‘definition of the situation’ to work with…he would reject life, openly, and be an asthete, a liberal in the aristocratic sense i.e just consume life with abandon and contempt, until there was nothing more to squeeze from it, and die, having not reproduced, so that the world would end with him…that was the only logical response to the world once you saw it for what it was…reflexively, those who couldn’t live so, those who were slaves, who could only survive from one miserable day to the next had to find some way to justify their existence in their progeny, who would have good lives…but it was all mystification…their children might have it a bit better, but not enough better …. anyway, people who have he priveledge to really enjoy life can play with life…and can be as cynical as they want, as self absorbed in their comforting misery as they like, for they don’t have to work to support their lifestyle…they can bathe in their self misery… and shout about the worlds injustices, while benefitting from them directly, and with absolutely no intention of ever sacrificing any personal priveledges in the name of their loudly effused ‘principles’. Some even bothered to convince themselves that they were not in any moral dilemma at all…that their priveledges and luxuries were not paid for by others suffering and exploitation…oh, and god, and heaven… end poetic etc Our introduction to EP character has him considering dimensions of suicide for himself suicide dimensions Scared-terrorfied of ‘that place’…of crushing rejection, abandonment, death (anxiety when alone too long i.e terror, fear something/one going to kill you…total alone, abyss, terrorfying, and time feel worthless / marginalised/ excluded from gifts/talents/welcome of universe i.e as if self a mistake/rejected/unwanted/good for nothing and valued for nothing EP: begin story with person hanging self….trepidation/fear…then so much easier than expected…was worried…but easy…full body orgasm…and another later using opium, nitrogen etc i.e bypass anti-euthenasia laws i.e characters actions etc and descriptions all provide accurate info… then randomly reborn….or doesn’t die i.e rope breaks, someone finds…first upset not dead, then sees opportunities i.e motivations to live…meets girl at hospital? (or lame hollywood?) EP: felt near death…relieved…so had lived out life, met all responsibilities…had failed in life but that was role assigned to him…now relieved of burden..had played part, done duty…now could die in peace…finally. EP: happy to die…but first wants to find someone to promote life’s work…so does not go to waste…leave all resources to, to promote EP SC etc…pangs in chest…heartburn? … death holds no fear, just fear of pain, but moreso that no-one to promote his work after death.. next idea : excited re: exit and childfree websites, feeling that some of his ambitions/prophecies may be gaining some public support re: right to good death and responsible reproduction…and some validation/support i.e not feeling totally alone in world i.e might actually find partner who shares important beliefs etc espec. female who can live without reproducing i.e couldn’t mislead female, must be upfront about childfree status, and even if not on menu, females don’t like idea…too threatened/challenged/even feel implicit criticism i.e they want children at some point and want to feel morally superior in doing so i.e all have lurking doubts about whether right to reproduce self just cos want to, given risks etc in this world….includes RSPCA (finds supports live animal transport), Greenpeace (save the whales, torture the baby lambs etc)…i.e first excited and revitalised/invigorated, then when finds out how exclusive organisations/movements are, disillusioned / disappointed e.g exit only fight for rights of terminally ill or very old i.e exclusive/ ageist/ etc i.e not universal…so in fact he is alone in his moral ambitions…helpless…pointless…without motivation i.e nothing will produce results he

desires, so why do anything? …. Any compliance with system reinforces and implicity validates and reproduces it…i.e you can’t allow self to be exploited without by doing so reinforcing and reproducing exploitative system of relations EP: felt near death…relieved…so had lived out life, met all responsibilities…had failed in life but that was role assigned to him…no relieved of burden..had played part, done duty…now could die in peace…finally EP: happy to die…but first wants to find someone to promote life’s work…so does not go to waste…leave all resources to, to promote EP SC etc…pangs in chest…heartburn? … death holds no fear, just fear of pain, but moreso that no-one to promote his work after death… next idea : So crap, empty, not motivated, pissed, couldn’t even bother sneezing properly, or cough, and if throat etc blocked cleared roughly, spiting own throat with the pain, angrilY, punishing body for being so dissappointing for him…agressively, hurt…reminded self of westy toned voices…no effort made to pronounce/enunciated…like self telling off things, without enunciating words…got to point just gibberish…the things were not worthy of his effort to curse them…but still commented i.e recognised their attempts to make his life even more unecessarily miserable at no benefit to themselves…i.e just to spite him…why? Why couldn’t things work properly…they could go either way, work or not, assist him or work against him…provide him with satisfaction or frustration…so why , when they had no motive of own i.e inanimate, could neither benefit i.e pleasure, nor pay via pain, did they work against him???? He had lost all patience, so all motivation…all expectation of reward/benefit/good things coming to i.e in return for effort…if effort was not going to pay, then why bother? What was motivation when no positive feedback / reward evident? Had strived 40 years for nothing… next idea : Motivation requires the perception or belief in the opportunity to gain experiences i.e pleasures, rewards etc and the efficacy of the available means to achieve them…i.e if you don’t think theres anything worth working for, or you don’t beleive that anything you can do will get you want you want, then you have no motivation i.e depression i.e suicidal etc…only willing to sacrifice or endure if believe/have faith that you’ll get something valueable in return…eg if ugly then why discipline self with diet and exercise etc only to be slender and ugly and still not get laid etc…i.e more benefits to being lazy, enjoying over eating, over indulgence…it is the only real satisfaction available to you…no matter how much you suffer you’re not going to be a sexy beauty…you’re not going to have great hot sex…better pay for sex now and then, and enjoy your cheesecake, fries, coke, porn, DVD’s, … and then take a little pill when you’ve had enough and see if you can’t do better next time around…someone has to do the boring jobs at the moment…so might as well pig out and enjoy what you can, rather than let false hopes torture you, and deprive you of what little satisfaction your inheritance really allows you next idea : crick in neck i.e onset of osteoarthritis, again faced with denial of mortality i.e body in decline…how much worse would it get and when i.e didn’t want to be forced to suicide, wanted to do it when it suited him, or was he kidding self altogether i.e would fear death and feebly seek to live as long as possible out of fear of death…at other times considered just hanging himself then and there, out of pure logic i.e he was going to die, only justification of living was some joy or pleasure, and his life had none, or little, and he might have horrible death otherwise…if only he had some potion for a good death, he would have been dead by now…life was a futile end game, no matter how you put it, your children would have children all who would die, their ultimate inheritance would be death and decay, and any pleasure would be at expense of someones misery i.e others did the work and the owners of capital, talent, or whatever inheritance stole it, and got the workers to reproduce based on lies and false hopes…i.e life immoral next idea : felt could easily have given all posessions and money away (like St. Francis of Assissi and Wittgenstein the philosopher) IF it would lead to a better world i.e and not just mean I was stupid and make life uncomfortable and need to live with rest of idiots, and submit to exploitation the rest of my life just to survive (wonder how ‘wittgenstein felt i.e like BUddha, giving away his inherited fortune and doing manual labour etc)…if others wouldn’t just take advantage of him, and IF wouldn’t just be wasted by others on things of no or negative value (Wittgenstein gave his money, he claimed, to his rich relatives as it would corrupt the poor, and couldn’t corrupt the already rich!) … could easily give up any advantage if it meant the acceptance of his whole package of EP’s i.e protocols…otherwise would simply mean pointless personal poverty…he would work in any capacity if it was productive in structural terms i.e produced valueable ends, and not just exploited..and if everyone got a fair share of costs and benefits, efforts and rewards…rather than working hard to subsidise the lazy…andif sex, acceptance, recognition, approval, affection authentic and appropriately valued by community i.e status of worker…if protocols in place to ensure an optimal future, rather than just squander what sacrificed to produce it…i.e as long as effort recognised , rewarded, and not wasted BUT otherwise in negative selection world, money meant independance…only potential to seek the truth/wisdom…and try to influence people via writing/publication etc next idea : previously had felt ‘relieved’that Edyta didn’t care for him, as it meant no-one would be hurt by his suicide…he cold die without any guilt/injury to others.He was rarely far away from suicidal feelings/thoughts/plans. BUT wheh sought to justify living-the indifference of others just made more depressed and lonely-how to endure endless days and nights alone?-unable to act in ways that lead to positive relationships-to find a compatible mate-physically and pscyhically. next idea : hence patience comes from faith…you’d be motivated to do anything if you were convinced it would yield the thing you most desired…look at gurus starving themselves for enlightenment, or teenage hookers selling their sex for drugs, or musicians and other artists slaving away writing, suffering, being neglected and invalidated…in the belief that they have a message, and will be rewarded one day for their suffering….sadly the church lies to everyone that they will be rewarded for allowing themselves to be exploited by the priveldedged, including the bishops in their palaces….when in fact by allowing themselves to be exploited and deluded they can at best expect to reproduce the same situation for their children, and later generations, and if reincarnation is true, for themselves when they come back next idea : P wants to kill self, does, but doesn’t want to hurt ex-girlfriend, so gets someone to continue to answer his emails ( he’s overseas etc) and years later the answerer and ex meet. next idea : reading Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein, felt lots of paralells between her monster and myself…the feelings he expressed…I feel am monster…have felt rejection/abandonment/and alienation he talks of experiencing. The monster demands his maker make him a partner, a mate, to make his life bearable (MHR like most people will reproduce themselves to have love/affection/company etc i.e most people are horrid beasts) First Dr Frankenstein refuses…but like most people, the monster demands reproduction as a right…even if means reproducing own horrific fate…’I am vicious because I am miserable’ etc Most lower SES groups same…like most people, rejection of desire for love/affection turns to bitter hate and desire for revenge next idea : standing in front of huge digital readout which presented the worlds population…as he stood there hundreds of thousands of new people were being added to the sum misery, the sum lack of opportunity and toil etc etc it was a really depressing thought…the inconceivability of all those hundreds of thousands of lives being added in the few moments he had been standing there… next idea : stray homeless bitch…looked really pleased with herself, her belly all swollen and hanging to ground, full of puppies that will be homeless etc i.e analogue to most female humans i.e reproduce at all costs to offspring to satisfy own selfish lusts next idea : watching ‘the sound of music’ on t.v, crying…so beautiful…and sad…cos not real…or if so…not lasting i.e ideal…naive…if only…crying all the sadness in own life i.e lack of love, affection i.e ‘heilige welt’…but after all the tears comes calm re-realisation that reality is other than such ideals i.e based on sex, betrayal, scheming, seeming, lies, denial….. next idea : Architecture etc beautiful but means nothing if poor and no love, no future, i.e no connection with the beauty, i.e it is not a part of your life experience, not part of you…you don’t belong to it’s world… next idea : wished would have limited time to live, so he could budget for it, and not have to worry about the future i.e was free to focus on what he wanted, without having to worry about the long term consequences … given what was possible for the average person without access to great resources i.e maybe travel, buying that car and driving the worlds best roads, fucking some hot young babe, writing that book, getting revenge (with no consequences as your going to die anyway)…life is much too long for the few good things available to be experienced, and the resources available i.e if you worked 25 years you could save enough to live 2 years well i.e drive nice car, travel, chase girls, write a book,…otherwise

if you spend the money on that you have the fear of poverty afterwards, of working to just make ends meet, with no prospects of a nice car or holiday tc…wished responsibility for his death would be taken out of his hands, so he could just accept what was given him i.e that he would be dead in, ideally, two years, that he could do nothing about it i.e he could fatalistically accept it, without conscience pangs that he might have ‘done something with his life’ ie in terms of changing the world, i.e moral duty, and just give up insecurity and fear of what the future might hold, and just live the best he could. He was already past his physical prime…unless he managed some coup he would never have access to any resources to do anything with his life i.e change anything, realise his architectural dreams, his dreams of a foundation for reason etc…his life would just go on, fill with all the miseries of aging and failure or mediocrity, for all the years until he died…he could spare himself those years and pointless trials…the destination is always clear, yet we live in denial, we are all Hamlet, we are all ‘dead’. We are programmed to reproduce while we are young and ignorant, full of delusions and lies…by the time we realise we have been tricked into this pathetic life, we have reproduced, and it is too late… next idea : Wished he had ‘done his time’ and could go to sleep and be no more next idea : on one of the occasions in life had wanted to die, but the thought had scared me, as I felt too full of life to possibly kill myself…fit, strong, figure of an underwear model, even brown…only with a slight posture problem, in fact the same as elvis, but as he was king, his self-conscious slouch (from times of low self-esteem, before he was king) was defined as ‘cool’ next idea : she put the noose around her neck, stepped off the chair…the pressure on her throat was felt as salvation…she felt it so…it was bringing the most welcome relief of annhilation, of oblivion next idea : perp considers all the pros and cons of suicide, goes through all religious positions and dogmas,…in end question of whether only one life or rebirths…if this is the only life, then there is no reason to endure a life of suffering, which will only end in death ultimately anyway…if rebirths, then enduring makes sense if can make a positive contribution to the world, and your own next life…but if can’t improve world, then no point, and better to die and hope for better oportunities and experiences next lives…and leads to question of how world would look if everyone who was merely enduring it based on false hopes, lies, dogma, and fear, took the option of euthenasia…i.e no-one to exploit etc i.e would compel more just society…of course priveledged would seek to instill fear etc into people to prevent their source of priveledge and luxury i.e of value, from euthenasia next idea : writer commits suicide as can’t get published, and failure on every other level…then that afternoon gets mail from publisher with huge advance i.e wants to publish his works…and it utlimately becomes bestseller…his ex-girlfriend, to whom he has willed everything, gets fantastically rich…and decides to do what promised to him all those years ago, and sets up foundation next idea : re: suicidal plans…versus hope of a relationship…re: no need to worry about health insurance, pensions, security, mortgages, illness, career, wether can manage to keep other happy, protect partner from the world etc etc … only need some clothing, place to sleep,ideally mobility i.e own car, can sleep in, piss in a bottle etc etc next idea : He looked out at the green morning…detached…but compassionate…he was not longer a part of the world…he would be gone soon…but he saw the beauty and the potential and felt compassion and hope for those who would live on, for those people and animals etc that would live on after him…hoping happiness for them even as he had given up hope for himself…and in his alchemy…some of them would be happy, he reflected, despite the general suffering etc … or more precisely, at the cost of that general suffering, but indeed, some would be happy…and he was happy for them…the lucky…but he felt no power to help the general population…who thwart any attempts …as they didn’t want to change the world, just move up in it…not eliminate injustice per se, just escape to the top, where they could benefit from it, rather than suffer under it….the thought had given him no end of frustration (maybe in first chapter…i.e to show situation, suffering, condition etc of character and nature of world…and then he wakes in hospital, as someone found him unconscious, hanging etc and got help etc etc so that he is back in the world, and maybe things get better for him, personally etc ) but now that frustration dissolved, dissipated. It had given him no end of migraines and depression, anger etc …but now he had given up the fight, and merely wished everyone and everything well…it was no longer his struggle…he had failed and accepted defeat…it was over for him…he wished them all well in spite of their stubborn denial and lack of principles etc …it was a fact that some WOULD be happy, it was true. The facts of his own death over, it was over….he hadn’t won….but he’d withdrawn his participation…there would be no ‘collusion’ on his part with this world and its ways. What would now be would be. He wouldn’t suffer this world any more. He had no hope for it. Perhaps others might succeed where he failed, but he saw no hope, and wanted to be no part of this world, if it had no moral direction, no validating principle, no end that could justify its means, if such were at all possible ….but whatever happened would not be a product of his intention or action..Some would be happy its true. But he wouldn’t give his ‘informed consent’ to this world. He would have loved to live, but only in the world he had envisioned. next idea : now approaching 40 felt could let it all slide i.e ambitions: of love, achievement, save world, cosy home, comfortable life i.e what most take for granted he felt as impossible to achieve re: gaining affection and sex etc…no felt hopeless…knew too much about himself and the world and others…but felt had tried…for almost 40 years had tried and failed…and this failure brought him a sense of having no more responsibility to keep trying…so now had to change habits i.e no longer live for some future security and comfort, but for the moment…there was nothing to save for now…it would be pointless (he knew from experience and from being once more on the verge of it) to go through stress of trying to find nice flat i.e own home…as pointless to live there alone…would be miserable…and anyway he lived, by nature and/or nurture, and now, as he had found many times he had to admit, habitually, impossible? to break habits, of living life so frugally he might as well be unemployed and poor, as at least then his lifestyle i.e lack of it, might make some sense…so should try to live well for a few years until broke, then return to being dole-bludger, and maybe going on medication etc…his money, for him, was more a responsibility (how to invest etc etc and maximise) and liability than a real asset…as he couldn’t enjoy himself, he couldn’t freely spend money on his own enjoyment, thinking of his future poverty etc…or alternative ways to spend i.e apartment etc … might as well just give in, try to live a little, and when run out of money etc can return to how had always lived, at least knowing he’d tried a’ la ’steppenwolf’…only why wait till 50…at least now healthy enough to maybe enjoy sex etc and travel…could ‘retire’ to a government sponsored bedsit life and maybe try to write etc later…as had no other realisable plans for life i.e no hope of rewarding relationship, comfortable home, and productive life re: music, writing, ‘politics’ etc etc … and would be easier to die once broke i.e no more excuses or ‘possibilities’…and simpler re: those left behind i.e government pays for funeral etc and no paperwork etc to deal with about assets etc…AT LEAST this was a ‘plan’, an ‘objective’, a direction’…better than rotting at home worrying about future, how to invest, etc etc…Question was, could he do it i.e change the habits of a lifetime and start living a little? He would have to make a clean break, and conscious, deliberate effort to stop counting every penny…he didn’t have to live in luxury, just not worry about every cent, and look after himself a little, and look for opportunities that might arise for affection, sex, erotic etc ‘on the road’…note women more ‘loose’ on holidays and away from any ‘nosey’ friends or ’spies’ etc next idea : next idea : couldn’t fashion an excuse to live, even for life as it was-the universe couldn’t even manage decent t.v reception i.e no ‘good-will’ operating in universe that he could see from how it operated…the universe couldn’t manage decent t.v reception, decent weather, for people to hear each other…malformed children, cancer, loss, loneliness, ugliness, stupidity, inaneness, fatuous, …cruelty of every kind random and systematic, even institutionalised in the name of justice…the ‘humanity’ humans so market to themselves as a brand of some god, didn’t mark them as humane or just , let alone clever and beautiful-people were the cruelest, most heartless, most ugly and stupid of all…out of insecurity, ego…humane-ity was sheer willful ignorance of the reality of what humans mostly were…and some masturbated to the idea of saving whales while torturing monkeys, freeing tibetens from communist dictatorship so they could be dictated to by their own native despot dali-lama…willful ignorance, sheer caprice…worst sin was their desecration of their potential, potential for beauty, justice, solidarity,… to be in fact…to express the godhead, power, the potential that their collective potential embodied

i.e god in fact, eden in reality, not intrigue, mystification, abuse , exploitation, opportunism…OR was he dreaming the necessary dream of those left desolate by / when the world becomes transparent…when they see all the cards on the table clearly, see all the connections, all the lies and denial and deceit and….see the priests naked, masturbating with their thin-papered pornographic bibles, and madness, self-righteous self deceit, deluded hypocrisy-god is their whore-their ‘escape plan’, their spaceship, their ejector seat, – their masses and speeches lick at the greedy ego-genitalia of their audiences, who are wet and panting and hard and greedy for the wet velvet caresses of the priests ejaculations of dogma, of the meaning and glory, the smug self justification and complacency next idea : heart hurt, literally…body ached, collapsed exhausted under realisation he had merely been rebound guy…and the other more recent acquaintance would never see him again..he was abandoned, left to die, just wanted private place and acceptable means…couldn’t endure life…why should he? no satisfaction or pleasure , and no (realisable) moral purpose…just sick joke…every prophet had become the vehicle for ‘followers’ who distorted and misused their real messages for their own aims,… aims not part of the prophets aims, and in fact contradictory…i.e even if did manage to set up organisation for moral philosophy and ep society, once he died, or during (as in case of francis of assisi) the organisation would schism, and take on its own agendas, using him as a tool, spreading lies about him (re: son of god, etc etc miracles ) … and his aims of a society based on moral intention, truth, transparency, justice, and solidarity etc would be mocked i.e like the catholic church and jesus…he would be appalled..and they would crucify him again! n.b it is always the religious groups of the time who attempt to, and usually succeed in, killing the prophets…only later are religions founded in their names (which then persecute any new prophet who comes along, ususally espousing the actual and true message of the ‘founding’ prophet eg jesus, francis of assisi etc) next idea : RE:next idea : sometimes absolutely gorgeous little children would bring him his frisbee or just come to gates and smile at him, or in supermarket…it filled him with warmth, they seemed so right and good, but then he would reflect on their smiles….were they simply instrumental? what did they expect to gain? were they simply practising to see what sort of effect they could have i.e testing their charms? … he then considered how they would grow up and happily exploit people, including himself…they would have good jobs and money and he would pack their groceries, clean their offices etc they would use him, take advantage of their positions etc suicide: will my death be dignified/principled rejection of life as it is i.e a criticism of the universe, a rejection of it etc…or a sad escape from failure i.e noble or pathetic?…rational decision, after calm reflection i.e decisive decision to end what is on the whole a negative experience i.e my life…or a desperate act fearful of being denied death as a solution i.e being forced by authorities to live i.e locked up …in fact has always been one of my greatest fears since early childhood, to be forced to endure this misery for decades, and endure a horrible death from disease or some accident….what will my last feelings be? compassion, release, calm, optimism of what might lie ahead, joy, or crushing despair, abject grief, anger, bitterness….a desire to be reincarnated as someone with a better life? Or to cease to exist at all? Would I be lured back by hopes of experiencing all the things we hope and anticipate we will, and which some people actually do? Is that what the ‘book of the dead’ seeks to warn us off, to prevent us from being reincarnated by desires for carnal pleasures etc…only to return to a miserable existence once more as slave and loser rather than star and priveledged? It is terrible to have to force a smile and pretend to everyone that things are o.k when I am desperate to kill myself. One key factor is to ensure that I am not found hanging before I am dead, and am forced to live as a vegetable until I die…a horrific nightmare…but so many people hang themselves that it must be quick and effective…I should do some research on times etc….I don’t want someone to have to endure finding my horribly rotting corpse hanging in some rented room…and must be sure that my attempt succeeds…although if I hang myself publicly if might generate some media interest…but have to make sure they are there at the time…and get far enough for the ’stunt’ to be effective, but not produce brain damage etc next idea : Re:| suicide: he wanted to die…it wasn’t a new desire, just a variation…failure = rejection = abandonment = death…and had abandoned hope i.e realised it was false…it had always been, there was no reason to expect, after having experienced the cycles false hope and dissillusionment so often now that he couldn’t ignore the pattern, that any hope he managed to experience would prove to be any different…so he had abandoned the notion of hope for a better experience of life…it was like probability…in reality you either did or didn’t get what you wanted…hope was subscribing to probability as the mathematicians did i.e that you had so and so much chance of something happening…but in reality it either did or didn’t happen…and so far it hadn’t, and there was no reason to think it should…every time he had wanted to buy a flat etc and didn’t, the market went up 100% before the next time…but when he did buy, the market was down for a few years, so he’d lost…and then doubled the next few years…the stock market always rallied when he arrive somewhere…and he didn’t invest…always the wrong decisions it seemed…every time he did buy or invest, he couldn’t commit long enough, as he had such bad luck in his personal life that he always felt the need to maintain some form of hope by moving on i.e he was so desperate that the only hope he could find was that things might be better for him somewhere else i.e that he might find affection and acceptance and maybe even a job etc somewhere else…and now he’d ended up at his last bet…he couldn’t find the motivation to move on…where to…it was now arbitrary…but moving would be stressful etc and wasteful of money,and he hadn no job offers to take up to somewhere where he might be helped to find a flat and meet new people etc…and anyway, it would all end the same…why should it end otherwise? He knew himself well enough not to hope that he’d suddenly start going out and meeting girls etc …and anyway, now he knew what they wanted, and if he gave it to them he would feel no better than the man with the whore i.e he would be paying for affection and sex etc etc … he wouldn’t want to live with himself, probably… next idea : why China cracking down on suicide self help websites? “the complete manual of suicide” next idea : any sort of rejection, even by very plain females, produced depression, hopelessness, and sometimes pure suicidal faithlessness and submission i.e acceptance that maladapted, and freedom from burden of having to endure i.e release from all burdens and responsibilities…i.e no-one cared if he lived or not, no hope left, no reason to live for self or anyone else….just wanted to get rid of all posessions so he left no trace behind, no loose ends that others would have to tie up…sometimes so down didn’t even care at all about this, just wanted out of life….most times wanted to clean up everything, so his death produced no inconveniences for everyone…sometimes felt like leaving explanation, other times couldn’t be bothered i.e no point…if there was any point in doing that then there might be a point in living, logically, so knew really suicidal when had no thoughts about that, just wanted to hand self and get out of life asap….but other times wanted to be no nuisance to others, even concerned about where to hang…perhaps park best, or forest…pity they couldn’t use his organs i.e had to be secretive…but wanted last days to be comfortable, so if going out to forest would need car, and have to leave car for others to deal with… so even suicide not that simple…but could find some nearby park or so…..sometimes thought of what to write in suicide note, other times felt no need to say anything, as obviously death meant he had given up on everyone, so why waste energy explaining anything to people who didn’t care or wouldn’t or couldn’t? next idea : misinformation- have character ‘decrie’ misinformation re: euthenasi i.e suicide isn’t painless (actual quote ie someone ‘reminded’ me of song, when in fact lyric is ’suicide is painless’…maybe attack chatter in chat room i.e demand to know who they are and their motivation i.e in misinforming people to scare them off suicide eg hanging etc….or ‘bogus’ ‘been-there’ chatter spreading lies about their ‘experience’…and describing their motivations i.e sinister or well-intended but misinformed , dogma etc next idea : Describe experience of suicide eg hanging, to eliminate fear of, and inform of options and outcomes eg full body orgasm then oblivion (or ‘continuance without identity’)…how to guide built into EP i.e characters can research / debate / meet with palliative care doctors etc i.e Dr Death…use interactions / discussions as technique for informing, discussing issues. next idea : re: suicide: considered how after he was dead, Edyta etc would get older, and older, and then die…everyone he knew would be dead within 50 years, and everyone alive today inside 100 years…death irrelevant as unavoidable…if it was simply a question of what he wanted i.e no consideration of inconvenience for others, or potential he had to improve world etc…then he’d kill himself i.e if only considerations

pure self-interest…had no personal interest in living…no hopes of realising any desireable objectives…even sex seemed unlikely…especially good, let alone great sex… next idea : suicide had had many different meanings to him, feelings attached…sometimes depression, relief of escape, horrible, loss but unavoidable, terror that might, simple expediency-no feeling-calm-indifferent-already lost everything-nothing more to lose-no reason to feel anything, empty, drained, ..mere gesture to end it all-it was already all over, pure rational-mechanical …mere logical extension. next idea : Character reflects … in depression of rejection-abandonment etc i.e hopelessness re: romance …that all relationships good and bad – so no free ride- so no need to be too depressed that loner- no prospects next idea : felt physical dread at thought of suicide i.e would have done…if no money would…last night desperate to die…today fear of oblivion i.e notion of eternal absolute loneliness…loss…then later, once more want to die…response to thought of suicide dependant on how imagined rest of life would play out i.e how estimated chances of life having any positive value next idea : re: suicide: wanted ‘closure’ i.e fed up with false hope, recalled so many times wanted to die, only during times of false hope did he want to live and fear death…or waste: re:belief in capcaity of human society to change…would leave money to publishhis book and promote…but noone believed anyone would read it…and he now doubted any changes he reccommended would ever take place…and principle of one person i.e he had obligation and right to live a life worth living, and to kill himself if he felt it wasn’t worth living i.e shouldn’t live for others, or for chance may one day have some positive impact i.e shouldn’t sacrifice self for others….so would do a bit of work on book/ writing etc but no stress or pressure…minimise life demands i.e narrow field of view…relax, live cheaply in south/central america (it would be too stressful for him to live expensively i.e against his nature, too late to change lifes habits of thrift (to be honest, agonising over every cent)…and when no money return to germany to live off social security, and go to nudist beaches etc for cheap thrills of naked women close up etc….if life potentially totally pointless, then why stress out and suffer when everyone was just going to die and that was that, and nothing else, so what was point of struggling? … and suicide once all money gone, no reason to expect publication and impact….in fact would prefer to be dead already…and in moments when he managed to only think selfishly about what he wanted vs the inconvenience for others of his suicide, he desired death more than anything available to him…of course he’d desire a hot girlfriend etc more, but that wasn’t available to him…he had to accept that….it was false hope to think otherwise…and his chances were falling the older he got…only some unaccountable success (either SC or, somehow having written a novel, that.)…He had no anticipation of any reward for his work, so life was merely work without reward…everything seemed like unjustified effort…as always, the best refuge was bed,and sleep, and where possible, t.v porn and internet porn….even bothering to try to make an effort to try to have fun seemed pointless, as he wouldn’t get what he wanted, whatever he did get it would not be what he wanted i.e gorgeous girlfriend, a voice in the world i.e positive impact matching his abilities, rewarding hard work etc etc…and having fun meant fighting his habitual thrift i.e so hard to spend money on entertainment, and might go out etc etc put in great effort and expense, and still not get anything at all he wanted i.e not even sex with really average looking female next idea : The fact that everyone would die pretty soon made his qualms about suicide seem irrelevant…death…all would be dead…just a question of time…edyta would age from year to year until feeble and old…and what tragedies could befall a person before dieing…he wished he could be there to help her, but, she’d rejected him…all offers, had eliminated hope for him…i.e death ultimate and only solution…rest of his life stretched out before him an empty, ode, lonely, frustrated, irritated, angry, alone, rejected…a work and no satisfaction/ fun…just complications and stress and slavery to the rules and bureacracy…suicide was attractive as so simple and elegant a solution … suicide merely meant dieing sooner rather than later…and avoiding all the pointless boredom, stress, frustration, loneliness, worry, etc etc sweat, discomfort…that would come in between…so nothing to speak against suicide, apart from being uncomfortable for others to find body etc, and fear of actually dieing i.e hanging…sometimes fear, sometimes none…he’d leave with one bag, visa, and find somewhere to die alone, where no-one knew him, so no-one would be really upset…he’d try to spend money productively i.e no-one to leave money to who deserved or needed it, or who he felt strong desire anymore to help i.e they had all left him on his own…and if gave to mother, she’d give to his evil oldest brother again…and father would leave it to his niece, who had gotten whatever affection etc his father could have given him…and didn’t trust the charities etc i.e not holistic approaches i.e save whale but torture chickens….only real solution was his, and if he left money to promote it in all likelihood still few would read, and even fewer adopt…so should try to spend money on self, and enjoy life a bit before dieing…leave manuscript and maybe get it printed and sent to the libraries etc re: ISBN next idea : Protog meets beautiful, charming etc female…just wanted to be done with life…they flirted? (he wasn’t even sure anymore if women actually flirted with him, as none ever approached him etc) but what could he offer? he felt totally worthless, with nothing to offer…couldn’t/didn’t have a job, couldn’t ever offer normal stuff she’d deserve, and expect, and the simplicity of innocent flirting and partnership would dissolve under expectations, demands, and burdens on his time and resources that would ruin the innocence i.e he would become a means to her ends, have to socialise, dress better, not be allowed his ideals and principals, as she wouldn’t understand or appreciate…he just wanted innocent affection and lust and sharing time etc together…she would want to go out, for him to socialise with her friends, go on trips, and ultimately live normally, and want to have children etc etc…was there any point even investing energy into something bound to be a disaster, and merely end up losing him the little finances he had etc etc….unless he had some success with any of his projects, he would never have an income, never have enough to feel secure enough to ‘waste’ money on things not important to him, and luxuries that others took for granted i.e going out, restaurants, hotel rooms, nice clothing etc etc … he didn’t want to risk being hurt and dumb by flirting, and attempting to ‘chat her up’…she probably was just being friendly…he didn’t feel attractive that often, usually ugly…even though occasionally he would get some positive feedback…but if she was interested, what would he do? Invite her for a walk? Invite her back to his rented room with tiny bed just like that? No, she would expect to be invited out to a movie or coffee or dinner or whatever, …. and he was terrified of the expense of such things…it was just too against his nature…..no, pretty girls just made him want to be done with life, to have life all behind him, and the end just in front, to have life finished with, and no longer a burden he would have to endure, to have false hopes and have them dashed, to make a fool of himself dreaming…was it all mania? …he never really enjoyed life, so even if he did look good from one or two angles, he had nothing good to share…nothing to offer, … any girl he would fancy would have too many other opportunities to care for him, or stay with him…he lived off whatever was cheap or marked down, went on the cheapest holidays…he was cheap…and had no prospects of ever having enough financial security to be able to change next idea : P would live as long as didn’t have to make any effort, and could accumulate more money i.e live on dole and still save $50 a week…so his life was in principle productive and positive, even if only for whoever he would leave his money to…in this way he could justify existing, sleeping, watching t.v, eating cheap food, watching t.v porn or cheap magazines from exchange…so if life didn’t offer much, it didn’t demand much either, and his life was technically positive, in that he accumulated more money to leave to someone…(then when all relationships deteriorated, had no-one he found it satisfying to leave money to), …but couldn’t bare idea of working hard and having nothing for it i.e making a real effort and having little more than he got on the dole…and while still alive there was the chance he might manage to make something worthwhile, a song, a book, an idea, he might get lucky with love or money, just by existing…as long as he didn’t have to invest much in it, he could just go on sleeping, watching t.v etc, dreaming, and philosophising, maybe find the meaning of life or a solution etc etc next idea : Life…no job, only acceptable possibility of income is from publication / music unless great relationship (improbable based on experience of 36 years) optimalisation of life / EP o/w personal optimalisation…n.b living in denial i.e fear death, but can’t avoid i.e will die sooner or later, so death itself irrelevant, not point concerning self with death itself, and once dead doesn’t matter if now or later…no moral universe or justice…so if own life not worth living in itself, life merely endurance of suffering up until ultimate death,

and a death most likely much worse than hanging or car fumes…. Focus on SC and EP, music…rest unimportant, only SC EP music have any meaning or potential pos. outcomes next idea : Why want to live? What in it for me? Or for anyone else? What can get from this world …is justice-moral reason possible and if so achievable? And to what extent? next idea : Don’t fantasise general value of life…i.e it is crap-only few have priveledges/ comfort/fun (and all die anyway) at others expense…no real morality..joy (when?) Despair (always) all good selfish motivation…kidding self when upset RE: suicide plans..i.e all will die sooner or later…irrelevant if now or then , only worth waiting for if present satisfying or anticipate satisfaction …natural death usually much more suffering than suicide, drawn out…hanging = orgasm and unconciousness. next idea : Need mantra…to focus / stop mood swings i.e fix on negative and response to, vs false hope and disappointment next idea : At least a sunny day…and december!…last year so cold etc i.e down to -30C in the daytime, without windchill added…BUT he had no future…and death seemed much more desireable than the slow rot of failure. What returns would he get for any effort he was compelled to put into living? How could he invest anything in life when no forseeable return? Life demanded constant effort, even just to get up, shave, get dressed, walk somewhere, interact with someone, always constant decisions to be made, questions to be asked and…no benefits…and worse…no hope/faith, and no reason to expect any change, now it was clear why he was such a failure i.e the nature of male-female relationships and human nature re: EPs and therfore no hope for transformation in his own life or society… next idea : hated constantly mood swings between hope and despair…wanted finality, certainty…either certain happiness or an end to it all…her rejection would simplify things independant of whether he had money or not i.e money had little impact on his happiness, it wasn’t a decisive factor now…little impact on ‘decision’…and anyway, he wanted to be wanted for himself, and not for any potential material benefits i.e wanted fundamental relationship with himself…he despised and loathed ‘material benefits’ as the motivator…he needed a complete change in the entire system of relationships among people…but freed from any feeling of obligation when life rejected him i.e he wasn’t responsible…life didn’t want him, so he was free of any burden to make any decision. He didn’t have to worry whether it was wrong or right to kill himself…he could don what suited him, what HE wanted i.e be totally selfish…he could just die. He was going to die anyway, and had no plans to reproduce, and saw no real hopes of either enjoying life or being really productive…his only fear now was that death was not the end of it i.e constant new-incarnation etc…and his concerns were more polite than anything i.e how to kill self without inconveniencing others i.e didn’t want to be burden after death i.e to those who must find him and then deal with the paperwork etc. He couldn’t simply go along with everyone else, as that would be to reproduce the world as it was, the world he despised. Life only justifyable if enjoyable for himself, or productive for others … he’d of course prefer to be rich etc and to fade away in decadent apathy, but he wasn’t, so he couldn’t indulge…his would ultimately end up, he feared, a dull death of incremental rot…he had abandoned hope of a better life or a better world…and he wouldn’t live as a slave, propping up the hegemonic interests … and felt it was wrong to live only as means to other’s ends i.e would be reproducing this state of affairs, this system of relations of exploitation of inherited inequality…he couldn’t allow himself to be exploited any more than to become an exploiter…if no-one accepted being exploited then no-one could exploit anyone, and the powers that be would have to introduce my protocols as the optimal solution …i.e eugenics would be instituted as otherwise the costs of inequality would be borne by the most priveledged (rather than the victims)…so there would be a real incentive to optimalise the inheritances of everyone. the universe had rejected him, he had no obligations to the universal future of all sentient beings etc etc i.e freed of burden…no responsibilities to anyone, even to self…and finally freed of all ‘decision making’ stresses i.e he had no ‘future’ to worry about, no other people to worry about i.e to protect from the harsh world etc etc…no more decisions to make…decisions gave him migraines…and no had nothing to lose, no doubts re: opportunity costs….could focus on the mythical ’somewhere else’ where things might be better… next idea : sometimes associated death/suicide with eternal loneliness…which would be horrible next idea : Fear of eternal rebirth as insects, dumb people, etc etc never again same chance of ‘interrogating’ reality and maybe escaping…so glad didn’t kill self last night etc …no possible chances to gain some ‘revelations’…otherwise death meant the calm of thanatos, which was his best bet now i.e the best condition or experience he could hope to aspire to was simply calm, death…he had no hope for ‘happiness’, joy, pleasure etc …he had been lonely too long, rejected and abandoned too often, dissappointed chronically and repeatedly…he considered how ‘dissillusionment’ implied that one had first been deluded i.e tricked….in order that one be ‘divested’ of that illusion…so he skipped that, and moved onto ‘maladapted’. next idea : often found self ‘at ease’ for some time, and alienated from idea of suicide i.e had to recall all his past experiences quickly in order to put out the spark of false hope i.e avoid unwarranted hope and positive outlook on life, and start acting like ‘things might get better’ etc i.e optimisim, which was reason he had endured so much i.e hope false…nothing would change…he had tried what was within his ‘inheritance’ to do…no F would be happy with him, he’d had so little affection/sex/sensuality/emotional support etc and this wouldn’t change as he wouldn’t change…he was sweating right now in the overheated office…another example of how life was generally frustrating, uncomfortable, stressful etc for him because of other people…people who wouldn’t change i.e lead healthier lifestyles, be more reasonable and fair, sacrifice their desires to reproduce etc and for ‘meaning’ via ‘god’… and would hence make his life miserable, and deny him the chance to improve the world…they rejected him, and they would reject his philosophy, no matter how ‘compelling’ it was as a whole…they would selectively build their ’straw-men’ from his arguments and discredit them, without ever really considering them, or adressing them wholistically…so he had to remind himself not to become positive again, and to end up reproducing the same ‘cycles’ of hope, optimism, then dis-illusion and despair…and to simply write in a ‘zen’ fashion i.e focus on the task as an end it itself, and refuse to get caught up with the same old cycles…if he achieved anything … excellent…but probably he wouldn’t, and he shouldn’t be motivated or otherwise by acceptance or rejection of his efforts…he must write and think as ends in themselves i.e to construct compelling arguments, to deconstruct/analyse non-compelling ones, to seek enlightenment and to enlighten…as ends in themselves, without worrying about ’success’ or ‘failure’ etc etc…or of ‘returns to effort/labour’…or of whether he should be enjoying his life more ( a valid criticism i.e as that should be the point of life…but the point to his was that he wasn’t capable of enjoying it, which was why it was a burden, and why he had time and energy for philosophy, and why he wanted to kill himself…etc etc …he’d actually gone shopping for ropes for a noose…and found a nicely soft, reasonably thick rope, with a pearlescent finish, which seemed ‘comfortable’ and even elegent…but it would cost $10,and he wasn’t ready to buy the rope…he’d look around to see if he could find a better deal…no need to waste money anyway, as he could reasonably expect to live a few years on his ’savings’, or should at least ry…but in hindsight, maybe he should buy the rope as a symbol, to remind himself…and to ‘practise’ hanging i.e as sensual/sexual/erotic experience…but might he hang himself earlier than ‘necessary’ or ‘reasonable’ if he had it lying around? next idea : death by hanging preferrable to car accident / cancer etc i.e earlier in life main consideration re: suicide was that life had little value, and there was a good chance of a horribly painful death…or worse…being forced to endure life i.e being prevented from suicide i.e more or less imprisoned in life for duration in body by authorities i.e locked up etc …i.e fate worse than death next idea : suicide as ultimate defiance i.e won’t let others control me, tell me what to do, waste my strength, energy, time, resources…make me behave contra to my principles. General response to lack of satisfaction / return for constant stress of living…often due to government bureaucracy etc …and stupidity of other humans…making life just not worth the effort…trials and tribulations…what for?…just slave and prisoner of others (unless rich etc ) and forced to live without authenticity i.e sell ’soul’/ corrupt…if have one…only argument against would be ‘new-incarnation’ i.e if we were continually born into this world over and over…and therefore should do what we can to change it…to improve chances next time around…i.e inheritance of world we could have tried harder to improve….And no-one would enter into real interrogations i.e respond that I’m too intense etc i.e no-one feels obligation to be right / ethical etc next idea : prot reflects on how easily people die-how unpredictable-children etc third world starvation-how

cheap life is for ‘god’ for universe, for evolution etc-so no reason to take own death/suicide with any gravity next idea : char. goes out…sees sex-kitten, ripe perky tits and cleavage, sweet angelic face, pretty, cute, hot, he imagines unbuttoning her blouse and letting them swing out free and ripe and perky, puffy nipples, soft white skin….resting chin on partners shoulder…reminds hime of his failure/hopeless situation vis a vis women…he’ll never have her, or any girl like her, maybe no girl…so what is the point of his life…he leaves, depressed, to sink back into the relative comfort of his thanatos…the simple problem of how and when to die…simple, solveable…a solution… and end to pointless suffering and loneliness next idea : Sees beautiful old tree being cut down piece by piece over a few days, and feels that if it is so easy for the universe to destroy such a beautiful old tree then his own suicide is insignificant and easy. next idea : a F can look at man with derision and rejection and make him feel like piece of shit for feeling attracted to F…deprive you of any hope at all that the drawn out ugly trudge to death would yield any return at all next idea : slave, no hope, no anticipation, seething with….dissappointment, self- loathing, universe of menace, and ugly, sweaty, discomfort next idea : people had to live in denial to survive, to bother getting up and going to job hate, i.e making great effort for little or only occasional rewards…invest in religion and children i.e re: fulfillment of aspirations to life or hereafter worth living in…ie external to selves…we live on verge of annhilation, oblivion, and worse…mediocrity, alienation, arbeit ohne lohn, fear of saviour-death-absurd, the most obscene idiocy,. next idea : Have character explain expectations theory…loss of expectation leads to loss of motivation i.e why bother, make effort, if not ultimately going to get what you want next idea : Character sees gorgeous, lovely, pretty, slender, …etc girl with legs spread wide, a friendly, welcoming, inviting look on her beautiful face…and feels both violent pain at knowledge that he will never get to experience such a wondrous thing…and life affirming…such wonderful experiences as she represented did exist…maybe somehow he might get to experience it…i.e motivational…something worth working for…to be the one who spreads her legs wide and…etc…but it made her his enemy too…she ‘deliberately’ denied him the experience of her, and gave it to some ‘unworthy’ men…i.e bitter… next idea : you can’t kill yourself, you can only chose the time and method of your death….i.e we are all doomed to die within around 100 years! next idea : Ad Nauseam of routine repetition..sucks life out of …defeated…no anticipation of satisfaction or fulfillment…living out repeats…same old over and over…pointless…like watching boring repeats of boring show…no hope…heavy, stale existence, loveless empty. next idea : suicide vs the slow death most enter into i.e path of least resistance, weight gain, lack of enthusiasm i.e apathy, bad habits etc till die next idea : sometimes terrified of death, and seemed incapable of believing that we all will die i.e unbelievable concept, one to be violently feared and fought…other times wished nothing more intensely and dearly than to no longer exist…envied those in movies who were on deaths door, dieing in their beds from some disease, their loved ones nearby…and wondered why we would be upset to hear that someone has died…they had been freed from life, they were lucky to no longer be…they had crossed that barrier and were on the lucky side of it…all it would take is a rope, and a bit of durchsetzungsvermoegen, and you were free…a sweet tasting potion or tablet would be preferable though…anyway, so many myths were deliberately spread about suicide, for eg that hanging was painful, when it couldn’t be, as people do it for pleasure, and when the rope is not long enough simply lean forward, and if it was painful, then thousands of people wouldn’t be able to see it through every year Physicality of depression : stomach wrenching, tightening depression next idea : Heavy aching down pressure in stomach-depression, as physical as kick in the guts next idea : P had to force self to breathe, every breath, terrible migraine and emotional shock of britta and mobbing, her continual making up and then impossible behaviour, misleading, and then outright lieing, and ruining his life / course etc next idea : terror of answering phone / answering machine / checking email – it could be bad news, just more dissappointment….trepidation at savage trauma , sickness as result of abandonment / rejection, and therefore below consciousness, death… next idea : defeated, hopeless, re:F: why should she want/care for him?…drained, empty, heavy, lonely…pointless…a dirty look from a female could destroy him…like a kick in the guts… next idea : crying alone…gasping for air, stomach cramping, head down, bent over, nose full of tears…totally reduced to this abject, lonely, isolated, despairing, …being reduced to this…cramped and bent over as if collapsing in on self-existing as sheer despair next idea : depression, despair, feeling of abandonment, exclusion from the world, lost, rejected, isolation, death better than feeling this … or … of circumstances re: life of unfulfillment, no oportunities, stuck in miserable circumstances i.e material conditions…no chance or oportunity to reach desirable objectives including acceptance in wider community i.e no niche…what society seemed to want was for him to be exploited casual worker living in misery and loneliness… next idea : sorrow, bubbles up, comes out as gulping for air, tears, … surges like waves of stubborn unrelenting pain, with a 20 yard stare, body too heavy to support, head falling forward, can’t bear to let anyone see you, like wounded animal dissappearing to die…don’t want to have to explain what too heavy a burden for words…overwhelming grief…loss of faith…total seperation from universe, alone in this pain and heaviness next idea : music allows some connection…with performers and writers…sense of communion of sacred acceptance, understanding…eases terrible despair and loneliness and isolation…shared burden less of a burden next idea : stomach tight, didn’t want food, food made feel sick, especially nice food i.e chocolate..associated with survival and pleasure, and didn’t want to go on, wanted to next idea : one night protag such deep pains from britta, from loving her, and her betraying him, had to force self to breathe, each breath one at a time a real labour and forced…had migraine as well, breathing hurt his head, each heart beat next idea : depression: pressure in chest rising to throat…terrible depression…throat tight, eyes heavy, breathing pointless… next idea : protag crying guts out, heaving, sobbing, no breath, like dry wretching with tears, gasping for air next idea : attractive girl, so close, looking at him, so close…what could he say?…could she possibly like him?…but moment passes and she moves on…he always wonders ‘what if’…was there a chance?…but everytime he did take a ‘possible’ chance it turned out badly i.e she didn’t want him, at least no how he wanted i.e physical relationship…lived in a world of false hope and promise…wondered why he ever bothered…why put yourself in the position of being rejected…what was the point…but what else was there…if he behaved like all the other men, spoiling their girlfriends etc, would he even then manage to get the sort of girl he wanted to root? wanted to kiss? an attractive one? or just end up wasting money and getting nothing…so best to keep the money…if some girl really liked him she would want him, to just be with him, like he wanted to be with her… .if 15 year old girl can go into room, leave door open to mother, and still manage to hang self without drawing attention, then it must be pretty easy and painless to hang self…becomes more and more attractive as goes on…especially as becomes aware that hanging is pleasureable rather than painful, and every attempt he makes at making life worth living and seeking justice and nice fail…even own family malicious etc END SUICIDE PSYCHOLOGICAL Migraine next idea : During migraine attack anything could make him nauseaous…light, assymetrical placement of his guitar on the mat it sat on, dirt, smell, even the thought of stupid people next idea : Nausea, pain behind eyes…a cluster headache, but headache is too light a word for the crushing, immobilising, all destroying and attention concentrating , dehumanising pain…moving head at all produced pain and nausea, and cold, and sweat, and cold, and had to take a hot bath…fell asleep in hot bath, couldn’t move. next idea : he promised himself, while he was suffering the deplorable agonies of migraine, that when he got better he would take advantage of his health to do things he had put off…i.e writing, and to live better and more fully….but once he got well he lost his motivation, and simply wanted to be dead… next idea : Describe migraine…how develops i.e interactions with people/stress etc…how proceeds, and afterwards i.e lust etc and thankfulness for just not being in pain…and effects of medication etc…n.b migraine without painkillers i.e in amber room i.e seeing migraine next idea : migraine/muscle tension etc sweat…interacting = stress…agonised for days/nights /hours about future interactions i.e how to express position and avoid others ‘reasonsing’ i.e specious sophistry, miss point-predictably would as thinking conventional/flawed-would get migraine trying to plan what would say, and how to react, to make interaction productive end migraine angry middle-aged men/women next idea : 50 y.o man…just looking for someone to punch etc..sees younger man approaching…seethes with self loathing he projects onto young man…wanders casually, as if

accidentally, but deliberately and with a plan, just to the point he anticipates at which the man would collide with him, so he could angrily lash out and try to pick a fight, hoping for some excuse to hit him…or at least get the satisfaction of ‘putting him in his place’ i.e old ape and young lion…as reaches point swings ferociously expecting to connect with man, only to find air…as the young man was sensitive to his mood and anticipated the plan etc next idea : EP:50 plus year old guy…swings briefcase / bag just a bit i.e so it looks casual, but actually agressively deliberate, hoping to hit younger man walking towards him…to force him to move aside, in a manner of showing the respect the old guy thought he deserved i.e big ape mentality, taking up more space cos older, as if superior status etc next idea : someone waiting with a trolley that has been broken etc, so doesn’t need a coin.. another hoping can take without coin…he hangs back…waits till someone gets money out etc and coin, and then returns the trolley, to deny him the easy trolley next idea : ugly, stupid, rejected people want to inflict themselves on others i.e express their own rage/grief through violence, especially of sexual nature, as closest to ultimate rejection i.e emotional/sexual rejection i.e greatest source of pain therefore greatest outlet for its expression, producing rape etc next idea : people walk slow, cutting across his path, deliberately not looking so that you have to move i.e assume they won’t see you…or deliberately (as if casually) move into your path, so that if you continue they will knock into you i.e 50 y.o men looking for excuse for fight i.e projection own self-loathing etc end angry middle-aged men/women next idea : Char feels someone walking behind, and feels self-conscious or ‘nerved’ or nervous etc…thinks about…eventually turns around to see that the person was no longer there, and probably hadn’t been for some time i.e humans suffer ability to imagine and anticipate i.e to suffer ‘potential’ problems etc next idea : ep goes over in head (headaches, migraines etc) over and over …wording of potential threats – warnings…to avoid legal problems, but to motivate to tell truth…but realises all impotent- they don’t care- will only use against him, to further victimise him next idea : Protagonists nerves shot, and can’t handle people talking around him ie really wants to scream at them to shut up…etc next idea : just the thought of having to confront people made his neck muscles tense…he often got migraines just worrying about what to say, what they would say i.e they would use some specious sophistry to deny his arguments, so he had to prepare for any counter to avoid them wasting his time and avoiding the issues. next idea : neck would tighten, breathing shorter, whenever considered, played and re-played in mind how interactions might proceed, to try to forsee their stupid ploys and specious arguments and therefore avoid them by phrasing things just right…people made him mostly stressed, as they didn’t care about right and wrong and reason and logic, they were only out to satisfy themselves i.e their mean and nasty and selfish ends…he only relaxed when he was alone or in control of the interaction i.e could enforce logical, reasonable outcomes on people…which was very rare…usually meant nothing to lose by being an ‘outsider’ i.e it was better outside than in the mob next idea : just remembering the lies / denial / damage / smug complacency / brought on stress / frustration / rage and anger, stiffening of neck, shallower breathing, migraines next idea : Character asks protagonist “how are you”…he responds that he hates that question, as he wants to be authentic, and people expect him to reply with “fine, and how are you?”…and most of the time he feels crap, but he can’t answer that, as then people might ask why etc etc or feel uncomfortable, but as a philosopher he can’t lie, so prefers “G’day”, or “Jin Dobry”…but guy is persistent, almost hostile, or so it seems to protag…and looks at him like he is really strange etc i.e he is being difficult, wont accept protag’s preference not to use that greeting…he pushes, agressively…it really pisses protag off, but it won’t help to show it, so he smiles and says “fine thanks” with a big fake grin, as he walks out door…sort of things that can define protag’s state of mind…and about to get up from park bench when disagreeable person sits next to him, and then feels self-conscious about leaving i.e person may think he’s leaving on their account, and doesn’t want to offend etc… i.e defines his ‘niceness’ …so he hesitates, looks at his phone as if he needs to keep track of time for some meeting etc, and looking at the time (imagining that’s how it looks to others) he gets up and leaves next idea : narrow lane in supermarket…shopper blocking total way, another gently nudges trolley..obviously needs to get past…other just leaves…oblivious…i.e need to ask the obvious i.e ‘you just gonna leave it there?’…and response ‘why didn’t you ask?’….why the fuck should I have to ask the obvious ? next idea : Self-righteous frustrated middle aged woman guns car at pedestrian, and pushes trolleys etc into other young male shoppers…really self righteously and aggressively…Post menopausal and basically jealous of everyone i.e feels hard done by, now men won’t pay for priveledge of her company…etc etc next idea : Was the rumbling late at night a massage bed? pissed off if it was. Was usually too tired to get up and investigate. Once did though,and noise seemed to come from direction of train station, so maybe it was trains…and one night at Aga’s facing the train station and bus stops, it seemed the buses made that sound…but if it was some inconsiderate bastard, which is what he had thought earlier, it pissed him off they wouldn’t isolate the bed from the floor with foam etc i.e e.g of how the interpretation or definition of a situation or thing affects how we respond to it i.e if it is buses or trains then it doesn’t annoy as much as is more or less unavoidable versus frustration and anger with inconsiderate neighbour who is selfish etc next idea : you sit down at workstation…others have their papers all over place…they make no effort or move to move to let you put your stuff on your table…ask if that’s their stuff, they answer yeah…and make no move to move it…feel like fucking challenging them to fucking explain themselves… next idea : wanted to scream at mother/grandmother of fat kid that the kid is obese, is fat, … he is not ‘growing into it’ unless he is going to be 10 ft tall…lard bucket…you are damaging him by living in denial, for own selfish, irresponsible reasons next idea : t.v too frustrating eg ‘labour shortages’ and 5% unemployment, when fatuous statistics i.e of course there is a shortage of people willing to work 3 hours a day for nothing at peak times suitable to employers…and no shortage of lawyers etc ….and really 30% unemployment i.e statistics don’t include long term unemployed or casual workers working few hours…want single mothers to work ’second job’ i.e on top of being mother…’news’ never significant i.e mere propaganda, misses point….econonomics/finance ‘explanations’ of shifts in market as if ‘know’ i.e say market drop/gain due to this or that…bullshit…..hypocritical ‘victims’ i.e opportunists who get caught out by other opportunists claim to be victims, innocent, and demand justice (when never in life concerned with justice!)….people only become advocates, and self-righteous etc for cancer or whatever, when personally affected…and then act as if morally offended etc !… next idea : considered that T.V broadcasters should be compelled to compress their entire audio signal, and T.V manufactures install digital audio in which the lowest levels have more discrete units than the upper i.e to allow greater sensitivity in setting audio at low volume, for night viewing etc next idea : P looking at oppositie shelf, and cow stops in front of him as if hes not there, and stays, looking through him,,,he wants to say something but controls himself, then and later,..but it pissed him off, fucking dum cows…and at roundabout another dum cow just misses him, no concern for the damage she would do, or the stress of fear of being hit by every car etc … next idea : Wait till frustrated – angry i.e irony – try to be patient / tolerant – hope all will pass – Vs going st. when angry…eg. Neighbour, builder etc next idea : carrying bike up ramps, to side of steps…fat chick sees coming and acts surprised when she’s in way i.e on ramp, having not bothered to use other side of steps away from ramp i.e no anticipation i.e bovine! next idea : frustration at most people’s apparent lack of ‘anticipation’ e.g when walking i.e don’t move a little and change course in advance to avoid hitting others, but wait as if the impact was completely unforeseen, and then others must move out of their way etc …or at shopping, wait until cashier asks for money and then, as if surprised by the request, slowly start wondering where their money is etc etc rather than preparing for the anticipated request by having money etc ready, and moving shopping etc while cashier completes transaction, leaving isle etc free for next customer etc etc next idea : irritated: why do vitamin tablets only contain a few percent of some minerals, yet they are marketed as a ‘compensation’ for poor diet etc i.e how can 10% of the RDA of a mineral compensate…wasn’t that misleading advertising? next idea : If person can’t defend rights i.e police won’t charge offender and offender can be smug and self-satisfied, then what to do? Either impotent rage or act of violence to prevent continuation of victimisation by other’s act of violence i.e denial of sleep is form of violence! next idea : Stupid people go on about their rights and how they’ve been hard

done by while stomping all other other’s rights …one reason hate stupid, ignorant, incompetent people i.e they make their problems which I am not responsible for, my problems, and worse, they will reproduce their problems like their parents did. They will say they have a ‘right’ to reproduce! And their kids will make people like me pay for their parents lack of self awareness, control etc i.e reproductive irresponsibility…ironically people with the least to offer children have the greatest opportunity to have, and the greatest desire to have i.e to distract from own lives etc etc next idea : In bad mood and someone kept unnecessarily deleting webpages he had minimised (irritated at people’s stupidity affecting him i.e they can be stupid as long as he didn’t have to suffer for it!), more or less yelled at student to ‘go, don’t take your time…as student treating discipline as joke, and distracting class etc…clapped hands go, go, go, breaking chalk…get out!…she treated as joke, moving slowly, smiling as had attention of entire class…and then waited outside i.e chatting to others there, rather than going as directed…pretending didn’t understand the word ‘Director’. And last time they had been a good class! So they had decided to be bad! He waited ages for quiet etc and collected the german books they had been working with (in his philosophy or english class)…no questions or interest. He asked if they wanted more religion classes instead. next idea : supermarket, old woman in front? farts, horrible stench, holds breath, looking around, wondering who else has smelt it, and if they might think it was him…he cautiously breathes again…the smell has gone, but the memory makes him feel a little sick next idea : Migraine, and shithead loud T.V…at 1a.m … Why?…how dare people have no consideration for others i.e there is no need for such loud T.V at 1a.m…what do the people gain by being so inconsiderate? And at what cost to others? Sickened…like so much other human stupidity…lack of consideration…could shoot em…No, put em all together …all the inconsiderate shitheads together so they can all suffer for each other’s selfish lack of consideration…they shouldn’t be allowed to live with civilised people and inflict themselves……housing should be assigned by social contract i.e if want to be free to make noise then can live with others who want this freedom, so they can all learn the costs, and maybe consider responsibilities as well as freedoms …. i.e when living side by side with responsible people they take advantage of them by enjoying their own freedoms, knowing no-one will impose on them i.e free ride…can exploit other’s civilised nature and abuse it, doing what they like when they like, knowing that others will respect their rights when it suits them! next idea : pissed off day: ‘of course just making coffee, opening tin, putting on socks etc etc has to be huge deal i.e big problem…i.e universe couldn’t even let simple things be easy i.e even though humans had put in a lot of work in designing and producing coffee, socks etc etc the universe wouldn’t even allow them the benefits of their work…i.e universe made us, but has no care for our welfare, and won’t even let us enjoy the fruits of our labours, which should be entirely unnecessary i.e if you are going to make sentient beings the least you could do was ensure that their lives would be easy, pleasant, and enjoyable…what a sick universe to enjoy taunting what it has produced….on bad days it seems the universe is taking no responsibiliity for its obligations…everything ‘takes it out of me, too much, too hard/ nothing works, things jam, get stuck, slip, bang hand etc etc next idea : Char. Waits patiently, not pushily..and others just push in…’oh, their time is more valueable, they’re in more of a hurry just because stressing self out…they’re center of the univers…Eplus story…infuriated/irritated for days after and ruined mood.. next idea : stressed out waiting for percolator to drip, for lift to arrive, and stupid people getting in lift when its going up and theyre going down (?) i.e had lost all patience…post-traumatic-stress symptom i.e loss of faith and therefore patience i.e hope…even waiting for email to appear after ‘clicked button produced tension in his neck next idea : constantly angry at the universe i.e it made us and forced us to be, so the least it could do was let things work out i.e we put huge effort into making things eg zippers, door locks i.e no ‘gift’ from universe…the least universe could do was let zippers work i.e not get stuck etc next idea : hated (especially old) people, always asking him to repeat self, as if seeking to draw their conversation out…he hated interacting with boring people, had little patience, but had to endure landlady etc though pissed off that she didn’t take hint and respect his wish to get on with whatever doing etc i.e at using him as means to her own ends i.e someone to talk to …get a life…leave me in peace … you had children etc for that! next idea : nervous tension-ready to scream-couldn’t stand people trying to engage in conversation and then even more their response when said directly or with body language that didn’t want to, or couldn’t…i.e wouldn’t accept etc made even more frustrated i.e fuckers couldn’t just accept that he wanted to be alone…needed to make him feel bad for having to ‘escape’ from them i.e as if guilty of something …infuriating…any looks etc i.e felt under seige, couldn’t breathe, had to have space i.e fortress of solitude, to gather self, to be productive next idea : people so stubborn-just thinking about interacting with them produces tension and sickness, and hopelessness…being ‘better’ is only an asset if you have ‘peers’ i.e otherwise marginalised by superiority and abject despair and isolation next idea : so irritating- inauthentic questions re: wellbeing…asked ‘how are you’ and was about to say not so good but guy had already continued without paying me any attention by saying, ‘that’s great, I’m fine thanks’ etc i.e had just mechanically smiled and spouted crap with absolutely no authenticity or interest i.e really fucking insulting, and to be expected to say “fine, how are you”…he hadn’t even waited or paused, hadn’t paid me any attention at all…so insulting to be forced to wear mask, and to answer such pointless questions, especially when doing absolutely crap etc…and when you don’t smile etc they get upset with you etc…overhear same behaviour in interviews, people being asked superficially how they are and going on so fast etc i.e insulting to people there with real problems i.e long term unemployed etc…bad moods, bad situations etc next idea : London suit, walked into Ps direct line, P had been on for long time, just walking straight…he entered my line…as usual expected me to get out of his way, as he was a better dressed i.e status etc shocked when I didn’t and he bounced off my shoulder…angry and incredulous…how dare P not get out of his way, after he just walked into my line… P felt bad when P made room for others and they made no gesture of recognising ie moving a little themselves…do all feel that the other hasn’t? is it all in mind? next idea : EP: after writing felt tense…thinking…no ‘articulating’ ideas and arguments in head produced tension / stress / migrines …imagined reactions of imaginary interlocutors, their inane, stubborn denial, their ignorance and smug complacency, …all the details he would have to avoid or articulate… next idea : EP char considers it ‘criminal’ that people can get sunny apartments (like he so desires but can’t find) and then leave the blinds drawn all day(whereas he’d have open all day i.e criminal waste … so much for ‘invisible hand’ regulating markets optimally! next idea : sick of paying for / bearing burden of / being victimised by / having inflicted on – mediocrity, insecurity, ugliness, stupidity etc of 90% of population – waste so much potential- so much stress, victimisation, inane fatuosity next idea : Didn’t believe in work i.e banal, stupid, ugly, …life should be fun/creative/ beautiful…got pissed off when things didn’t work i.e simple things, thinking of how much others got, and how fucked the universe was towards him,…he wasn’t asking for a porsche or love or ….. just the fucking zipper would work…even that was too much for the universe VEGAN next idea : people at ethics convention arguing about the rights of a fertilised sperm while eating chicken etc from factory farms with deplorable lack of animal rights etc etc and doing animal testing as jobs etc i.e fatuousity…i.e incontrovertibly aware/able to suffer animals rights vs rights of ‘abstract’ potential awareness etc CAN MEANS SHOULD? IT’S O.K TO? : At restaurant woman smugly states that she has the teeth to eat meat i.e eating veal and lamb…joyfully claiming that as she can, it is good to i.e self-satisfied, smug argument…..later he rapes her, and reminds her that he is stronger than her and has a penis, and therefore rape is natural and good…and definitely traditional i.e rape is an age old ‘custom’ so it must be good and right! next idea : accused me of lowering her self-esteem by insisting that I wouldn’t pretend that eating animals i.e battery hens and factory farming etc didn’t lead to unnecessary suffering for animals…wouldn’t pretend animals didn’t suffer to satisfy her desire to eat meat etc Animals tap into human consciousness next idea : People begin ‘experiencing’ things from animals point of view i.e in battery hen cages, factory ‘farms’ etc and slaughterhouses etc etc i.e nightmares…or maybe factory owner…and goes to shrink to deal with…then becomes activist…or some tech. gadget…or hack into prime time t.v with footage of horrendous conditions for animals in ‘farms’, battery hens, animal testing labs etc and at random times, to confront people with reality, so can’t live in

convenient denial i.e have to accept that they themselves are cruel, heartless, ruthless, selfish bastards, or change…and demand improved conditions i.e animal welfare/ animal rights etc next idea : end next idea : Billionaires heir pays for t.v, radio, and newspaper ads, but they are rejected i.e would offend other advertising clients..i.e show real power of lobby groups and how functions, including ‘pay for comment’ etc i.e get announcers making critical comments deriding this guy, or denying that his story true i.e no-one will even air or publish his story re: rejection of his ads i.e conspiracy…he pays professionals to install cameras in farms and battery cages etc to get footage for doco, but no station will air it, claiming ‘legal problems’, and courts won’t use it either to prosecute, as gained ‘illegally’ i.e not admissible evidence…has cameras in animal testing labs etc …tries to bring transparency…learns that people don’t want to be informed i.e want to live in denial and self-deception that there are no ‘victims’…maybe like Schopenhauer argued, some researchers or farmers wake in the night screaming, wracked with guilty consciences, and maybe go mad, destroying the lab, and releasing viruses etc to wipe out ‘carnivores’ etc next idea : EP: ‘unto others’ … press release…’you can torture and abuse and exploit animals as they are dummer than you….this is your only justification i.e rationalisation i.e opportunistic exploitation of inherited inequality…therefore applying your own logic consistently, as we are more intelligent that you, we have, by the same logic, the right to abuse and torture and exploit you, as means to our ends…so don’t hypocritically whinge and whine and complain about it….Or is it the ability to suffer that shuld be the benchmark? Let us watch you suffer and see how your opinion might change on the subject? …live internet feed showing ‘live human transport’, ‘intensive human farming’, ‘battery cage humans’, ‘live human experimentation (of course if the results of an ‘experiment’ might be compromised or rendered less useful by the use of pain killers then we will of course undertake that research without providing any pain relief for the humans concerned!’ while in general, our ethics lead us to use anaethesia for the most part…here, for example is a human being tested with….but don’t worry, while the human can see what is happening etc etc, they do not, we can assure you, experience any undue pain !)….. EP: faked or real footage…we carry out exact same trials as documented by scientists, only we use human animals.. We use same logic i.e the good outweighs the harm done…and don’t worry, you will never have to get your hands or karma dirty…we do the dirty work for you… we use all the same ‘ethical’ guidelines for animal research…sometimes giving our ‘subjects’ pain killers would jeaopardise our results, so we don’t… i.e dairy humans, batter-cage humans… we artificially impregnate female humans, to keep them producing milk…but humanely we remove their babies from them before they get a chance to ‘bond’…you know otherwise they can get very excited when we take their babies from them…get crazy…so it is humane to take them before that…some we gas, depending on baby-flesh prices, and make lovely soft gloves from them, and soap…others we raise for their flesh…keep in ‘vealer-human boxes, to stop them damaging their skin-hides…that would reduce the value of their skins…oh, and we are sensitive to the needs of jews and muslims here…we have kosher and live human transport…

 

next idea : EP writer / web producer / philosopher told to state clearly that ‘unto others’ the terrorist organisation is against his organisations opinions / principles i.e after people claimed he was a member, or that his writing was considered to be justifying their behaviour , therefore inciting people to criminal activity. He states that ‘of course they are’, as cruelty to all sentient beings is against our philosophy / creed. But they demand specific renunciations of ‘unto others’. Video being circulated on web showing babies having ‘products’ tested on them…under the exact conditions as defined by the regulations regarding animal testing…reports in media of kidnappings of people who are then put in battery cages with other humans to approximate conditions of battery hens, adults injected with anaesthetics and then cut up to approximate later term abortions, feed lots, cattle trucks, live ship transports, and slaughterhouse experiences all duplicated using human ‘victims’, usually those who benefit most from the same treatment of animals, or who lobby to preserve such atrocities in the name of profit. … and poor babies ‘switched’ with rich babies in hospitals…random and targetted…so all feel vulnerable…but rumours? ‘actors?’, real? Doesn’t matter for purposes of story and media, as brings home same message (and better if not for real, as then no cost, merely benefits!)…The government charge writer with ‘promoting’ the illegal activities (police don’t realise those presented in videos etc are actors i.e media stunts) as he had considered such activities in his texts…but, as he keeps pointing out, his philosophy is totally opposed to the violation of the rights of any and all sentient beings. The public responses to the ‘events’ show their general bigotry and hypocrisy etc i.e vehicle to extrapolate common persons regard of animals and poor etc …the internet presentations are ‘traced’, apparently, to the Vatican, the White House, and the Tobacco Institut etc

 

in the media philosophers consider the equivalent behaviours …what we may expect, but of course couldn’t condone, even if, in principle, the message they are sending is valid and ethical….arguments against the government etc … so, UR saying its NEVER justified to sacrifice / inflict pain / loss to gain a political / social objective? So war wrong? Prison wrong? Etc i.e show hypocrisy i.e always ‘victims’ in revolution, social transformation, acting on principle…etc …

 

next idea : people are cruel, as expect not to be victim of same cruelty i.e not a sheep or chicken…but what if technology allowed to change experience so did experience that? or easier, just treat the fuckers exactly the same as the animals are treated to produce the things they eat etc …and kidnap rich peoples children at birth, i.e

 

next idea : n.b vehicle to illuminate hypocrisy i.e of victims families, t.v announcers etc calling ‘unto others’ unscrupulous, etc etc i.e all things we are to animals etc i.e they are …i.e pot calling kettle black etc

 

next idea : Take representatives/owners of batter cages/test animals etc and simulate environment with hostages or fake ie they’re not really so treated by family and public believe etc i.e raise consciousness next idea : technology developed by activists that simulates i.e gives the experience to perpetrators without actually damaging them etc or actual consciousness transfer technology…leading to people being able to experience being young horny bitch or stud, etc….people rent out body ie exchange,,, and some do illegally i.e like illegal organ harvesting, they hijack people and transfer consciousness without their consent EUTHANASIA TOURISM ETC HOBBES TRAVEL : EP opens ‘Hobbes Travel’ (re: hobbes of leviathan fame’s comments on approaching death that it was journey he was looking forward to) i.e Euthenasia travel i.e like sex tourism, euthenasia tourism … some media call death tourism!) travel to resorts in countries where euthenasia legal and universally available…negotiates with some politicians in third world etc as means of attracting tourism…good business…char. details reasons for in interview with press etc…can spend last days on drugs, rooting whores, or doing whatever want to do, and saying whatever wanted to say/express to world, friends etc i.e no rush, stress etc…irony can even pay for with credit card…and even pre-pay for cremation with credit card you will never have to pay off i.e one last revenge on agressive credit marketers and capitalism!… next idea : Pleasure end….every few months the old are given large doses of pleasure drug, and those weak die in ecstasy from it, and those who survive go on , so that their is no painful slow death. next idea : thanatos resort: euthenasia tourism. next idea : P sets up world Euthenasia movement i.e to facilitate free choice..good death, develops E pill…and organizes strike i.e threat to remove self as producer of value for priveledged to force them to share wealth i.e allow producers to keep more of it next idea : Dr Nitschke character refuses to allow 36 year old to participate in euthanasia workshops i.e practical workshops on producing own synthetic barbituates i.e right to die i.e E pill….as device for discussion of issues of right to die i.e discrimination … none, then just terminally ill old, then terminally ill, then raises issue of who has right to die, and who has the right to refuse, and what are legitimate grounds for refusal…as part of plot, protag plots to get the denied info from participants in workshops…bugging workshops, or approaching participants…and gaining info through force or threat…or pays and arranges for old ’stooge’ to attend, to pass on info… next idea : Borgias’ sweet tasting poisons…market exists for…Character develops with chemist or researcher or historian etc … governments criminalise… lobby emerges … some threats i.e want to die anyway, so get weapons and plastique, and threaten to blow things up etc if governments don’t support euthenasia i.e can use to demonstrate how easy it would be to prevent stupid thin edge of wedge fears i.e murder CARPE DIEM NIHILIST LIVE WELL DIE WELL GROUPS next idea : Cult (p hears of through hearsay) see life as pathetic, have poison pills so can die painlessly and immediately whenever chose to…no dogma of afterlife, karma etc just this life and thats it…so they just do what they want until caught, and then die, so go on to rape and pillage, do whatever feels good, and when no hope of escape, just kill self next idea : Suiciders don’t pay their debts … carpe diem teaches how to get maximum credit before declaring bankruptcy or dieing i.e open number of credit cards on same day, apply for lots of different store credit etc etc and go on holiday round world before returning to bankruptcy or death, or continue with more criminal activities next idea : criminal nihilist group…no taboos, euthenasia pills, sterilised….profiled in investigations.. next idea : Group- see no future for humanity- live for the moment-have euthanasia pills…or better, have implants of, and need to take antidote every day or will die…so if captured don’t have to actually actively take anything, so authorities can’t stop…and don’t even realize … until way later i.e pattern….Detective susses out, but still can’t stop as don’t know what toxin is…etc …they organize into groups that make heaps of money through whatever legal or illegal means, and have group orgies of sex, drugs, pleasure of whatever form, and when caught by police or whatever and no escape from prison etc they just stop taking antidote and die, without regrets, as life only worth living if fun and pleasure, nothing worth slaving for, as life itself amoral and corrupt….all members are sterile etc i.e no reproduction…they deal in drugs, blackmail rich and politicians, ….show true human nature i.e bleak, denial of reality, reproduction of crap ….. PLOTS next idea : old people used as drug ‘mules’ i.e coerced, to help kids i.e pay for education, medical expenses etc, or kids drug or financial problems…or just to leave kids something i.e an inheritance, to help them….and as so old etc, life sentence meaningless…and have sweet poisons to take if caught i.e euthenasia… next idea : EPs gain leverage using non violent means ie sex terrorists…young people who seduce etc strategic persons to get inside information, influence, and leverage, possibly using blackmail etc ie volunteers willing to sacrifice for the unborn…though violence only acceptable in last resort next idea : Some technicians by pure accident see some ‘broken’ ’solar plants’ and get suspicious i.e not like any they’ve seen before…learn that in fact all ’scam’ i.e no solar…in fact much more advanced form of energy…that ep’s won’t release to wider world…fear exploitation of it for unethical means, and consequences for environment etc… next idea : Investigator randomly discovers that the supposed problems with Dolly the sheep and cloning were faked i.e cloning worked, and no problems…and wonders why? i.e meant to throw public off scent of reality i.e so they don’t realise that people being cloned right now next idea : Protagonist clones self, but pretends have developed age regression gene therapy, or an urban myth like this developes, or is promoted. next idea : protag goes to register domain name for book/portal…in fact on verge of suicide, just wants to finalise loose ends, and publish book on web etc … finds already taken, so goes to site, and finds message for himself there, from a wealthy sponsor who wants to remain anonymous but will provide all the resources he needs, including great place to live, credit card, car, computer support services, etc etc … this sponsor had ‘vision’ of protag? or more realistic i.e just supports ideas etc, and wants to support…or maybe the continuation of some secret society e.g Templars…and finds 11 others have written same book, i.e identical! There are 12 seats on the throne i.e sort of apostles, and germanic Knights etc ….the sponsor either had vision etc or came across copy of manuscript somehow, but had no idea how to find author, so placed queries with publishers etc Gill Bates, finds ‘random new-birth’ argument compelling…fears being born as poor etc, so puts massive fortune towards secret research in bio-tech and nano-tech…buys out corporations secretly…investigators harassed who discover and ask self why? i.e ‘retired’…plans to re-enter? Detectives…working in Mt. Druitt…so contact with ‘westies’…’perks’ of job incl. Easy sex with teen prostitutes i.e blackmail etc so won’t report, and catch with drugs etc…they seduce…first posting of detective…moves on to city, then private investigations? next idea : sect recruits new members…luxury, elite, etc … very selective…and members must prove allegiance etc by committing act eg murder slum person, rape daughter of rich person…can’t afford sympathy…group can’t afford being infiltrated..mole / breach security etc … detective sent to investigate…his career on line…will be kill/rape? … internal security guy sent to check out potential new recruit realises he is infiltrator, but likes him etc…aims to seduce him to groups ideals…he sets him up…hire prostitute or fakes murder…so he thinks he has done it, but in fact hasn’t, no victim…but allows him to get into his psyche, and reveal to him stuff about self…and leverage….. Or some other scenario where same plot i.e fake perpetration of crime as test etc…i.e group really no unscrupulous, but needs to test etc next idea : What will be source of money, power, influence for initial grounders of EP? EP group proves to be unwitting continuation of, long standing and continuous secret organisation that has lots of money and power etc and is waiting for opportunity, utopian society…nudist colonies, eugenics. in U.S and Nazi and Northern Europe,… becomes introduced to the

secret organisation and its workings, and finally finds his niche, and is accepted and admired and becomes part of a team, belongs, is accepted and valued etc, and gets to live out his fantasies at one level i.e sexually, and love, and gets to work on changing the world, but with the huge resources and support of the organisation… when days before on verge of suicide, hopeless etc Professor…ultra sexy … all female students fantasize…end of lecture…and remember, reproduction is more important than survival for species…so behaviors etc leading to sex most pronounced…all individuals will die, so if don’t reproduce, species extinct…etc…and all girls feel moist etc … next idea : EP idea: char has been helping someone indirectly i.e never met i.e someone’s cousin etc i.e had been giving stuff didn’t need to, or help getting job etc…and this person by chance ends up ‘mugging’ them, or getting into angry fight with…then they find out later! that sort of thing! next idea : Use newspaper or news headlines in passing, to establish characters or events…eg spread of euthenasia pills, i.e b-mail, etc…or even about the EP organisation itself i.e rumours on talk radio, chat shows, etc etc next idea : inventor or ref. To disgusting toy dog / baby that ‘shits’ i.e put ‘crap’ in and turn dial / switch, and it ‘shits’ e.g on table etc … all the rage! next idea : recording gear etc stolen…has songs on hard disc…out of luck producer type stumbles across and keen to find performer-composer…tracks back through dodgy seller etc etc to thieves and in process chance to look at dogdgy subcultures / characters etc i.e seedy underworld of losers and pathetic etc criminals…eventually finds address, but composer has moved etc etc i.e and music world as narrative, plot, context etc next idea : Protag. watching huge digital display showing world population growth i.e as stands there population has grown by over a million? next idea : characters rich rally racing playboy? (so can describe how it feels to really drive)… optimal inheritance…describe driver…boy racer or rally driver…how he feels the curves, the car breaking traction, the control and the boundaries of control, the ballet, the feel for the gears and clutch and brakes i.e can ‘feel’ the tyres etc , anticipation of other drivers movements, timing…i.e the satisfaction of driving next idea : After ’stunt’ i.e performance art i.e film of captives in battery hen cages, factory farms etc revealed…director appears on Fox…angry smug 50+ host of show loses it…topic is promoting such hostage taking in real life…repsonds that ends never justify means i.e point of exercise…host full of hate and contempt/loathing, not even concealed i.e audience waiting for him to do what they want him to do i.e attack film director i.e Fox panders to i.e populist…the host tries to provoke director, who doesn’t bite…is always reasonable and calm and balanced in responses and tries to be enlightening and clear, knowing the audience of the program and the host are all against him and his mission etc i.e have invited him on show for express purpose of venting their rage/loathing/contempt etc…host ends up hitting him or throwing punch…director either doesn’t flinch or ducks and weaves etc i.e realises the media value such a public attack would have for his cause…show how populist media works and how it panders to and manipulates audiences (maybe host reccomends or refers to his telephone company, car brand, alchoholic beverage etc too next idea : smarmy well-trained, totally affected (but self deluded i.e convinces self!) t.v presenter ‘good guy’…”we dare to tell the truth” gutless wimp who merely panders to ‘audience’…acts like some good guy but really wealthy i.e facade to appeal to lowest common denominator…not-journalism…at end of show keeps saying how interested in ‘your’ story, to email or call…totally frustrating for character as never gets reply to serious story, and keeps seeing inane stories about greedy people taken advantage of by confidence tricksters eg third world finance schemes to aid criminals launder money, and then people cry and whine as if innocent victims etc small time cons, kids who prefer dole money to exploitative work no-one else wants to do either so get foreign guest workers, ….show even aided conviction of australian in bali by denouncing ‘informant’…and unrepresentative ‘focus groups’ of teenagers claiming how sexually active ‘their friends’ etc ‘people at school’ i.e generalisations and big talk, are, compared to earlier generations, …when never been any different i.e always a few teen pregnancies, some sexually active…most just big talk i.e know of someone who know’s someone…etc…and single mums forced to work next idea : t.v presenters carefully choreographed and practised looks of concern, friendliness, caring, intelligence comprehension, empathy, sympathy, likeability, choreography of camera angles, body language, impression management consultancies i.e tooled and worked and machined to pander to audience, so they see him as good guy, caring, hard on the bad guys, feared by interviewees as a great interrogator etc etc when in reality bland, moronic etc i.e all trained to appeal and produce impression…no substance sect sect recruits new members…luxury, elite, etc … very selective…and members must prove allegiance etc by committing act eg murder slum person, rape daughter of rich person (real or instigated with actors?..reader doesn’t know till afterwards)…can’t afford sympathy…group can’t afford being infiltrated..mole / breach security etc … detective sent to investigate…his career on line…will be kill/rape? … internal security guy sent to check out potential new recruit realises he is infiltrator, but likes him etc…aims to seduce him to groups ideals…he sets him up…hire prostitute or fakes murder…so he thinks he has done it, but in fact hasn’t, no victim…but allows him to get into his psyche, and reveal to him stuff about self…and leverage (so he never realises he didn’t really harm anyone? And maybe sees girl later and realises? Or follows her etc?).. next idea : Sci-fi or dream in EP…calls own mobile phone to locate it after misplacing it…and it is answered by ‘himself’! next idea : re: experience of porn…gorgeous young females…painful to see…sort of anger, rage, sadness, depression….feeling of hopelessness…that such a fantastic experience is denied them…given to others, but not them…powerful lust / desire…could be so beautiful, …the ultimate experience..why did others deserve it and not him?…a real sense of violence being perpetrated on him…why couldn’t she share herself with him? …as if she did it deliberately to hurt him, a neurotic, selfish, egotistical game she was playing…to turn him access to the most affirming of all life expereinces, and give it away so cheaply to such underserving men…why only others, like the guy in the picture, penetrating her beautiful cunt, experiencing her wonder and beauty etc etc trailor trash, losers, … i.e mystical, magical sex with gorgeus sexy thing, smooth taut skin, tight slippery cunt…sheer beauty and wonder……it would be the only thing that could justify his existence, the existence of this terrible universe…..he wanks off and is calmer…the power she had over him reduced…his bitterness diminished, pushed into the background..his desire dampened, the pain in the background…… next idea : hurt to look deep into beautiful womans eyes..i.e lost in paroxysms of attraction-melt-didn’t believe any could love him so this longing he felt , this craving, was a pain, a sorrow… next idea : re:japan-sex kiosk…characters have different motivations eg curious,sexual, financial, pyschological e.g don’t orgasm etc…maybe can’t and seeking, or punishing self, or trying to get back at strict unloving parents i.e it pisses parents off i.e attention and some reaction/emotion from better than being ignored etc, want to shock parents and friends.. characters meet, or we meet i.e in story, and learn about different motivations etc for sexual interactions…female and male clients n.b in japan over 12? or 13 etc females can basically negotiate sexual interactions self i.e prostitute, but illegal for pimps etc…whether this in reality the case i.e existence of one makes forced etc exploitative prostitution easier? different motivations, needs, problems i.e complexity of sex/love/relationships/interactions investigated/considered/revealed/etc mushy-mushy = hello! next idea : describe total sleep / relaxation i.e conscious total relaxation…wrapped up in quilt, soft blanket etc almost like swaddling clothes i.e totally immobile and supported and comforted…total bliss as all muscles relaxed…and often facilitating ‘lucent dreaming’…only way ‘ruined’ is by need to get up and urinate…and allowed great mediation re: philosophising next idea : boyfriend (?)of partner glares at char. as glances at her hot arse…even turns to glare at him from behind…why? what can it cost him? he is righteous one? i.e no-one else has the right to look at her but him? i.e exclusive viewing rights? hyprocrite…he stares at her pussy as he fucks her sexy body etc…or is that the problem i.e she isn’t putting out for him i.e he’s not getting any, not getting to perve either!???? next idea : If true C.I.A pay heaps for prime numbers with over 100 digits, and no algorithm for producing such available…can have EP character find such an algorithm as source of income…and maybe relate to ‘primerties’ and ‘awareness’ etc COLLECTION OF ‘DONOR EGGS AND SPERM’ = EROTIC but in fact real plan involves biological agents which only the selected are pre innoculated to/immunised against, in the event the public will not co operate willingly next idea : ep’s stole/took/got DNA material…best/talented/beautiful etc and cloned…(leading to laws against?) n.b question of copyright/patent on own / childrens genes? … argued that

humanity own genes, not individual i.e inherited i.e didn’t earn etc so no right to ‘ownership’…even dumb ugly deserved to have beautiful, intelligent kids etc…technology advanced so that even genetic material in sneeze enough to clone…and raids etc on houses to get access to material…earlier had to resort to ‘egg stealing’ i.e like alien abductions…especially of young girls i.e seduce, then drug and get eggs…for men easier i.e simply blow and ‘not’ swallow or condoms, Girls claim ‘get off’ on having guys ejaculate on them…to feel the hot semen…then go off to bathroom and scrape off into containers, little fridges etc…..and cloning of most powerful to sort of hold to ranson i.e courts sought to determine that clones ‘property’ of ‘donor’ i.e rich… next idea : P sets up a club, to get around anti-porn laws, like in victorian britain to get around lord chamberlains censor, has links where young men and women demonstrated how to optimalise sexuality, incl toys and videos etc, can buy the panties and dildos after they have been ‘used’ in demo…run as type of religion i.e not for profit. groups clarify that they have the desire for any partic. sex practise,e.g orgy, and set out rules under which they would like to put into practise, incl. exhibitionism, voyeurism, …but nothing secret, all transent, no victims, next idea : porn-set up cameras etc … participants all chose to be there i.e for own lust satisfaction…all sex spontaneious and real i.e no choreography…i.e genuine lust etc…all participants get copy of video and opportunities for participation i.e overheads, privacy, toys, food, clothing etc … EP uses as source of finances? point is authentic sexual experience, and video so can share with others not so lucky to be there…i.e porn as free medium for solidarity, for improving everyones oportunities for sexual gratification, fulfillment, positive life experience etc next idea : Video blackmail mystery…from orgy resort…but couldn’t be anyone who owns resort, as they have invested huge money and if ruin reputation, would have no clientelle, so try to solve internally, keep secret…at resort t of security and thrill is continually video surveillance, momentoes of visit, and voyeurism other guests etc next idea : seemen and eggs of most attractive, healthy, intelligent etc people ‘collected’ i.e through blow jobs by gorgeous young girls, acting as flight attendants, etc etc…i.e ask them to wear blindfolds, or keep condoms full of seemen after sex…and women drugged etc (may be explanation of notions of alien abductions etc )…some characters argue etc ‘why should we ‘own’ what we merely inherited?’ i.e genes not of our own effort etc next idea : EPs gain leverage using non violent means ie sex terrorists…young people who seduce etc strategic persons to get inside information, influence, and leverage, possibly using blackmail etc ie volunteers willing to sacrifice for the unborn…though violence only acceptable in last resort next idea : EP’s go throughout world ‘recruiting’ poor people with good DNA etc i.e potential…have checklist of what to look for…i.e EP is mult-ethnic i.e no racism…i.e eliminate associations with Nazi’s etc next idea : suspicion somehow raised by someone in some context, about a particular community (first geographical area, then narrowed down to a community by statisticians/researchers/journalists etc who become suspicious one way or another, i.e become aware of disparities…i.e rarely sick, no pathology, no chronic illness, all attractive, intelligent etc successful, no credit histories etc etc i.e introduction to our EP community next idea : as part of philosophy…i.e self-empowerment …sexual empowerment…eps make videos to teach masturbation to youth and adults, using same age groups in videos…meant to be made by and for age group…not just mechanical, but stories of good and bad experiences…including of effects of abuse, meant to build compassion and empathy in older people who might otherwise consider abuse i.e educate on effects etc i.e costs…and freedom for those who wish to to engage in activities and videos etc i.e pornography of own choice i.e some people become sexual earlier etc i.e it is society and taboos and exploitation in general that produce problems i.e force those who don’t want to, and sanction those who do want to i.e youth…..produces uproar in wider community, and potential source of revenue, and fear of abuse i.e others abusing for own economic gain…..increase awareness of problems and responsibilities in youth i.e costs and benefits, so informed consent possible, etc etc next idea : high profile celebrities on talk shows…and less known ‘bandwagon fakes’…”They stole my DNA”… Virus etc sub-plots: REPRODUCTIVE RESPONSIBILITY EP EP: story: ‘the last baby born’. What happened? After this only born in labs. All animals lost fertility. (lead in story with descriptions, from first person, of participants in fertility rites in Euro…i.e modern taken for granted fertility vs past…and today, gone…!!! ) Conspiracy theories abound. Scientists madly seeking answers, blaming anyone or thing can find…synthetics?…human extinction movement elated…or are they really? i.e fine when it was all talk…different story when happens…show human nature re: this…Genetically modified foods?… did some corporation with cloning technology do it? To monopolise market for reproduction i.e become only source?…Korea i.e mad scientists think Korea light of world (can flashback to guy in car being told that Korea is, has destiny for mankind…etc!)… Is it the same as happened to the dinosaurs? (earlier on scientist ridiculed re: theory!)…Giants of past same fate?…Natural cycle (re: humean uniformity i.e crest of wave mhr?)…God’s punishing wickedness? Re: biblical prophecies re: no more marriages? … so religious take as sign i.e form of armageddom?… Is eden on way?… (is this EP behind all this…we are introduced to EP in this context !)…god’s punishment or reward? i.e end of humanity or eden for mankind?…Scientists madly saving / securing gene banks…massive security i.e full military protection… as whatever sterilised humanity is now in its genes…and only those genes in gene banks safe … (story part re: gene banks…i.e follow characters who donate…and those who don’t, and their motives! Mhr note word motives better than reasons!)…Conspiracies re: rich beginning eugenics, as poor destroying world, too great a threat, and no confidence would accept voluntary etc measures, re: reproductive responsibility etc… How does world respond? … anarchy? i.e no future for self i.e own genes?… Seen as good or bad by most? Re: Hamlet’s ‘there shall be no more marriages’…no more need to anguish re: to be or not to be, as someone, something has decided… massive attempts at cloning but all eggs/sperm of current generation sterile i.e d.n.a has either evolved or been damaged. Was it evolution? Was it a ‘time-limit’?… i.e built in obsolence?… intelligent design? i.e intention of some force / entity from start? i.e now we have technology for non-sexual reproduction i.e like plants, and at time when overpopulation etc danger…and when population of hit and miss large enough to have begun positive selection?… only source sperm/ eggs from previously donor banks…and gene-banks… all become national treasures…should be up for sale? To who? Who to control? i.e currently owned privately…can state nationalise?… have story over 70 years i.e plays out over 70 years…as generations die and are not replaced…reports on last baby born…and investigations all over world…’are babies being born anywhere?’…is there an EP colony? With immunity? Or spread out in secret over world? Or have technology to counter? In beginning of story we become aware of strange phenomena i.e no flies, fleas, etc i.e animals with shortest life spans dissappearing…many people happy about…then first problems emerge re: pollination of plants, and dead animals laying around, dead vegetation etc that would normally be disposed of for free…massive costs of pollination etc…no spiders…yippeee…but…i.e show how food-chain, ecosystems work…and ‘ecological services’ we have been taking for granted….then no birds etc i.e all carnivores dissappear fairly quickly. Is it bad? Re: EP’s is it part of plan…expected?… malaria dissappears in few months i.e no more new cases…pharmaceutical company shares first to fall…but some biotechs soar i.e pollination nanotechnology etc i.e and robotics…i.e all taken for granted exploitative labour i.e service will now be valued, as populations fall, no cheap labour to exploit…etc…chance to show how opportunistic people are…all must become vegan without choice now…show how possible and no so bad after all…and vegan companies shares soaring…and massive oversupply soya etc as no more animals to feed with. Koreans only supply of pet dogs and cats…huge industry… EP: interview with an EP … fertilised ovum for sale…guarantee high chances of health, intelligence, and attractiveness i.e no guarantees in life…famous ‘donors’ blackmailed’, tricked, seduced, and paid…’recruiters’ travel world seeking ‘donors’ i.e attractive, healthy, intelligent people of all ethnic groups etc…also at EP course trains attractive young women how to seduce men i.e what they like, how to please, attract, and then ‘milk’…overtly and covertly i.e some simply paid, some will feel ‘honoured’ to be ‘fathers’ and ‘mothers’, some blackmailed, some tricked,….during interview EP makes it clear that they are not producing ‘made to order’ children i.e if father loves soccer he can’t ‘order’ a potentially great soccer player e.g sperm of famous talented soccer player, or woman dancer, musician, etc etc i.e we don’t/won’t do that … the interests of the child are paramount…we approach holistically with child as referent…parents only guaranteed general health, intelligence, and attractiveness of child … we aren’t in

business of fulfilling parents own unfulfilled career goals etc i.e unfulfilled dreams for self…this isn’t a factory…we won’t allow our technology to be used as a means to the parent’s ends…our objective is the child’s interests, and we will only deal with parents who share this objective (interviewer: jumps on word ‘deal’ and tries to distort etc point)… next idea : fertility clinic specialises in rich women etc …doctors become Eps and EP terrorists…place chemical combination in common chemical combinations/minerals etc which common and harmless alone, some new product…but add another chemical and becomes toxic/lethal i.e catalyst…so both easily distributed and stored and can be activated when needed i.e ‘sleeper toxins’… EP: scientist adamant that with enough money can cure specific disease…then own daughter gets it…so scientist finds rich mans daughter and injects her with it too…and tells him…and warns that if he goes to jail he will never be able to find cure…just needs enough money…or politician/president…and suddenly massive funding appears for … EP researcher develops ultimate contraceptive…on / off switch…then develops tuning capacity i.e for who it will work..one tablet vasectomy…later can turn on again…and at first allow it to occur, so gain publics confidence…all tests successful…then later implement plan i.e use to manage reproduction i.e select for who it will work and who not !!! but done secretly…conspiracy…first fails to switch back on in poorest nations etc…sperm banks require maximum security as riots etc i.e sperm wars!!! maybe form of nano-technology…can program and reprogram from outside / centrally i.e gives EP control over reproduction / fertility!!! … n.b nano-tech producing everything from scratch virtually for free…then everyone would want everything i.e humans become pollution…over-population etc EP: swine-flu was test run, to see how many people would get shots, and demographics. Plan to use as ‘vector’ for delivery of sterilisation product…virus that targets reproductive system? Discovered by accident? Side-effect of pharmaceutical for other application, and research stopped for this reason, but lab technician or someone comes across paper written on, and finds actual product, and finds it easy to mass produce…have insiders in system…virus undetected in tests…so all set for next flu season…the antidote will be distributed to targetted demographics via alternative vectors, usually luxury products, and also millions of EP’s will be out in force selecting targets for innoculation-vaccine against virus…will have one month to reach targets, window 2 weeks before and after innoculation. Vegan foods all contain antidote, so most vegans will get it. No racist intent. EP’s in all nations target own demographic where can. Different vectors used…more generalised…this was EP’s main problem, to make sure across entire world…especially poorest, most backward…so there, even though no racist intent, applied much more generally, so that most will be sterilised, and only targetted, very small minority, innoculated. EP ultimate aim elimination all non-synergistic relationships i.e predator-prey, exploited-exploiter, opportunist-victim…possibly requires at some point sterilisation most species…and if impossible destruction of planet after colonising another unihabited one with purely synergistic life-forms, and constant regulation i.e positive selection… EP: question is to what degree can Eugenics really control outcomes? Aesthetics? Intelligence? N.B that same parents produce different offspring i.e some genius, some down syndrome/stupid/ugly i.e famous handsome actors with unattractive, unexceptional people

 

EP: euthenasia using heater…seal doors/windows/ventilation so heater burns up oxygen and releases carbon dioxide/monoxide (? which? Both?)…so fall asleep and then unconsious…never wake up…and can appear accidental re: life insurance and desire not to hurt others…

 

EP: insulin dependant diabetes ideal for euthenasia…if don’t inject insulin fall into coma and die…no apparent pain/discomfort…and so person with such condition must affirm life everyday…and take injection as life affirmation…no need to actively kill self…mere lack of action, lack of active affirmation of life will result in exit from life…ideal position…i.e we should have to affirm life constantly, rather than be forced to take action to die i.e passive…death should be norm, and life exception we much consciously chose…

 

re: fatuous N.B around 1% population die each year e.g germany 82 million population over 800,000 die each year…few people think about this massive scale of death…anyway, means inside 65 years everyone would be retirement age! .

 

next idea : Some people had actually been given placebos i.e their services were needed, but they weren’t the right sort of people i.e corrupt people, so had to pretend they were part of plan to get their integral support or resources….and they don’t realize until later in case of fertility, or too late in case of death! next idea : Elites actively recruit best of masses i.e positive selection, and promote evolution i.e skim off the best, after accepting no-one will allow

mass social engineering, and later develope immunity to disease they construct and test, and then release…they arrange for the selective few they deem worthy of survival to be innoculated, without their knowledge…. next idea : Karma: story where a strain of resistant virus develops out of intensive animal farming, ie and wipes out all meat eaters etc ie all those responsible for the suffering forced on animals etc next idea : Maybe the scam fails, and the virus mutates etc, after wiping out 90% all species and most humans…but still humanity has opportunity to fulfill eps or go back to previous exploitation, but now only attractive, intelligent, ‘equal’ humans around, so how will they exploit each other?…etc next idea : Refer to earlier writers on population who thought one problem was the loss of social stratification i.e how to eliminate population strata proportionally i.e keep inequality i.e labouring class and managerial class etc next idea : Spread pandemic on stamps, envelopes, free shampoo etc samples.. next idea : …All EPs immune BUT attempts by non-EP’s to synthesise vaccine from their blood fails next idea : small meteorite…mars stone…either newly impacts earth or did so millions of years ago,and global warming lead to it coming to surface i.e impact near north pole…with mars virus/bacteria…real reason dinosoaurs died out…OR is this the line EP puts out…to distract from self sexual-sensual-political EP deal with sex (vs love)…sexual problems, lack of fulfillment even though everyone else thinks satisfied i.e envies, transaction nature, illusory appearances i.e appear happy, satisfied, fulfilled to public but in private deceit, affairs, conflict i.e conflict endemic to all relationships i.e costs of benefits…we all seek mythical benefits without costs…i.e myths of synergistic ‘love’…Females use male for kids/security, but fuck strangers they despise for hot sex…partners put up with boring sex out of loyalty…is it more of waste to have one or many partners? i.e wasted on one? Or on many? i.e only valueable if with parnter? Sex can contribute to quality of life…insecurity/fear motivates to control sex partners…monopolise…fear losing to rivals if have sex with…fear self not satisfying partner i.e can’t compete therefore prevent competition via monopoly…relationship incentive to grow as person? Face own weaknesses and insecurities? Relationship forces to challenge own assumptions etc i.e as other’s are different…and to keep peace challenged to see things from other’s p.o.v?…or limiting, lead to lies, deceit, self-deceit…seek to comply with other to keep peace…not risk rocking boat…i.e motivations to grow or stifling?…. vs moving from one easy sexual encounter to next i.e satisfaction without personal growth/challenge i.e sex objects not relationships…or is it myth that people grow? And maybe the more partners you have the greater the exposure to different ways of being/seeing/ thinking/defining…would easier access to sex etc increase our security? i.e never lonely, so never desperate, never construct romantic love to meet our needs for security etc…or leave us more lonely and insecure? Does pressure of relationships increase or decrease our tone? i.e fear of losing…great investment in one person re: recouping losses i.e invested so much loathe to quit negative/damaging etc relationship…lose face, money, time, etc invested in relationship resulting in spin-dr’ing, denial, etc re: sunken costs EP: becomes/became rich as Dr. orgasm…’remodelled’ females genitals i.e clitoris and vagina, so all achieved mutliple orgasms during conventional sex…and only has sex with sex workers … even though now visits one regularly, one first saw age 17, now 34…traits like lover but no bullshit…honest, open, pays so transparent and gets only what wants, and nothing else..so both happy…by still senstive/romantic etc towards her…respectful etc EP: the cool breeze across her wet pussy lips as he slipped her panties to the side, his gentle fingers felt warm on her waist, then on her hips, as he pulled her panties down…the cool breeze on her arse, thighs etc… EP erotic: washing slender, beautiful girl in bath, warm, soapy, smooth, wet, hands slipping all over her body. EP develops hypnotic drug…makes females so hot and excited at idea of fingering self and fucking in public i.e pleasure centers…or on film ie most authentic, hot sex ever filmed…all really cumming…rich, gorgeous girls and women cumming for real…going for it…pleasure centers over-riding any inhibitions…totally uninhibited ( tests done to ensure safer sex and pill etc )…carry on filming until have complete library, then release i.e so no individual first and open to criticism…once have huge library proof widespread normality of, so none prey to criticism…i.e no harm as no victim i.e mere documentation of human nature, nothing to be ashamed of…liberating…no embarrassment or need for others to repress sexuality…no victims…informed consent…become famous and liberated by…did what all want to but wont let self do i.e too inhibited… EP: char. tells other to lick pussy, suck cock…of other participant i.e so overcome personal inhibitions i.e what to but feel can’t…others direction absolves of responsibility so can i.e not owning action…frees to do…like role play of hypnosis…like Nazi mitlaufen i.e deny responsibility, play role of puppet, powerless to not act… power of groups to lower moral inhibitions…not gay or bi-sexual if only following others directions…merely acted…i.e motivation not own…not own impulse…so can experience w/o challenge to self identity…and also see as unique action i.e not defining action…simple anomoly…one-off…no fear of facing daily world…exceptional and not defining … EP 14 y.o girl shaving pussy, door ajar…tutor arrives…she talks normal so he walks in and sees, watches as she talks normal…his excitement growing suddenly hot at the view of this sexy pussy etc…she is confident of own body etc…knows she is gorgeous…wants him…no self-consciousness, only excitement at situation…she washes her pussy, her legs wide…pulls on panties…goes into room for lesson as if normal..during lesson asks him if he likes blow-jobs and how to do…she wants to learn… so she seduces him….he is passive until last moment…then loses all inhibitions, lost in lust…and takes her forcefully… EP teen watches stallions gleaming phallus as it unsheaths…as washing…girl knows guy perving on her in changing room…takes off bra…looks in mirror to see his desire next idea : Exclusive club for adventure, experiences, teambuilding, personal growth, distraction etc…business set up offering exclusive luxury experiences, including orgies with beautiful teens (ep’s i.e part of organisation/movement i.e raising finances)…and laps in formula one cars, fighter jet flights, northern lights, …. produce contacts with most rich and powerful i.e raise funds and make contacts etc…include taboo sex experiences i.e with 15 y.o, orgies….tribal experience in south america where can live as native for month etc…even be king etc … sort of real fantasy island…. EP: babysitter lets teen boy see her…or teen girl seduces older man…lies to get sex no better or worse when come from or delivered to 12 y.o or 40 y.o…show innocent sexuality, curiousity…w/o lies just sex for sex i.e innocent…no expectations/lies/myths/exploitation….no sexual predator seducing victim with lies/promises…no1 should ever exchange sex for promise extrinsic benefits…represents prostituting self…and only o.k when transparent i.e both parties know and accept paying for sex i.e are in realtionship of sex worker and client. EP develops hypnotic drug…makes females so hot and excited at idea of fingering self and fucking in public i.e pleasure centers…or on film ie most authentic, hot sex ever filmed…all really cumming…rich, gorgeous girls and women cumming for real…going for it…pleasure centers over-riding any inhibitions…totally uninhibited ( tests done to ensure safer sex and pill etc )…carry on filming until have complete library, then release i.e so no individual first and open to criticism…once have huge library proof widespread normality of, so none prey to criticism…i.e no harm as no victim i.e mere documentation of human nature, nothing to be ashamed of…liberating…no embarrassment or need for others to repress sexuality…no victims…informed consent…become famous and liberated by…did what all want to but wont let self do i.e too inhibited… EP: remember tEP sexy…girl at hostel or staying over friends…didn’ t think anyone up at 3a.m…didn’t lock door…so boy comes in as totally naked, shaving pussy etc…and he is in shorts etc … erection sudden and hard…too tired to think etc EP: she felt his cock pulse and throb, her lips tight around his hard cock, as it pumped hot salty cum down the back of her throat, her tongue swirling around the base of his shaft… here was always one girl in school that everyone desperately wanted to do…HE did her…he didn’t make love to her, he didn’t buy her presets or dinner or take her out…he didn’t date her or listen to her boring stories…he fucked her…he used her cunt and arse and mouth to pleasure his cock, to make himself cum hard and fast…in her bedroom with her family asleep or watching t.v, in her car in public places, even at school, in her sister’s bed, …and she loved it…and YES, he fucked her younger and older sisters, just to see if it felt the same, to see if their pussies felt the same, to see if they made the same noises when they came, and writhed the same…and because it was so inappropriate…and THEY loved it…he was THAT guy…the one you still admire … and wish you were …and why HIM?…HIM?…she wanted him to come down the back of her throat, deep in her pussy and arse…she loved it when he used her roughly, mercilessly, pulling her long black hair, pulling her slender perfectly shaped hips back onto his long hard

cock…begging him with her gorgeous innocent eyes, her soft white skin, full red lips, to cum quickly inside her mouth…she loved the taste of his cum, the feeling of his cock pumping and twitching in her mouth…why HIM?…she came 10times harder than usual…from feeling him lose control..fucking her tight sweet innocent arsehole…whining as he emptied his load…balls deep inside her…she came so hard…feeling his pleasure…why HIM? There’s always a reason, so why HIM? Her father hated him? Her ex-boyfriend, who she hadn’t lest so much as touch her, demanding his love first, his proof of his enslavement to her, who had done anything and everything to try to please her (she supposed to get into her panties)…she loathed him…pathetic loser…he promised her everything, drivelling slave…If only WE knew…And when I met him last? What was he doing? Who was he doing? This super-stud manly man, the man’s man and sex-god to women…what was he doing?…he was some sort of buddhist …no, some sort of cult…Eden Protocols or something… or… he had that look, a look of contempt for women, indifference…they loved it…it got them so hot…maybe reminiscent of their own father’s distance/indifference to them?…he never knew why he was so lucky with women…he treated them as sex-objects for his own gratification, and payed them no interest as soon as he had used their bodies to pleasure himself, to satisfy his own sexual urges…then they were nothing to him…he got what he wanted, and as soon as he had come, as many times as he had wanted, he left, without any excuses, promises, tendernesses…they loved something they perceived in him, but he didn’t understand either, and anyway not interested…he could not understand how all the other guys went without sex, or grovelled and begged and whinged… anyway, just a lucky guy I guess…died in his sleep after a good life…living the life every man dreamed of…right up to the end he was getting blown and doing the hottest young girls you could imagine… EP: female who came only when more or less raped i.e fantasy rape, or rough recreational sex with strangers who she provoked to use her like a sex doll…no sensitivity…to focus on their own needs and use her…she would keep calling out NO and ‘struggling’ with them as they used her, pretending she did not want it…wanting to be overwhelmed and dominated completely…used…no responsibility for the act on her part….maybe she has a male counterpart…beautiful man, well-built etc…ideal woman’s man and man’s man, but can’t get no satisfaction so far from normal sexual encounters…he is too sensitive to his partners needs…thinks too much about them…then meets this girl…desperate to have a fulfilling sexual interaction he will try anything…and she works for him…together they are the extremes that balance each other out…till they find a happy medium together that moderates each of them…mutually satisfying… EP pornography equivalent of holy whores of temples i.e proceeds go to church upkeep etc…online subscriptions…all authentic and EP consistent i.e educational etc emancipating… EP: man reclaims power over female by fucking her hard up arse..using her to satisfy own lust/desire…taking what want…taking back what lost when lust unrequited…rape can be sexual anger due to rejection/games…but act sexual…anger allows male/female to force selves onto…to ‘take’ what want despite rejection… EP: young boy, angelic face…huge cock…girls always curious/fascinated…’you want to see?’ go on, it’s fun…you can look if you want…go on, touch it, its fun…it is rock hard and 8 inches…12 y.o girls etc pull down his trunks at beach etc, or showers, babysitter’s etc…first time he cums on a girl, in her mouth, she is surprised…him too… you are beautiful like mommy, he says, seducing baby-sitter…go on touch it, it’s fun (from Freud’s PA session!). Taking bath, its fun, go on, you get in too…she strips down, his eyes grow large, fascinated. Her breasts,her vagina, smiling angellically, laughing… (this is rich, lucky, priveledged character, grows up in ideal life…to contrast to opposite EP founder etc life of rejection, dissapproval, abandonment…for whom sexuality a burden, terrible, depressing, cruel ie represents rejection and suffering…no gfs, no sex, no affection , no fun… i.e tortured by sexual frustration…only outlet masturbation, in library etc…learns to hate desire, and self for desiring what can only bring pain. For pre-ejaculative boy and young girls pure sex, affection, fun, as no chance of pregnancy or diseases, as all virgins and infertile…loving, gentle, adoring, playful, full body orgasms i.e perfect sexual situation…no exploitation…girls suck him off, wanking him , few minutes later hard again…why not? Shows him how to play with him, and she shows him how to play with her. All play. Mounts her, fucks her, lovely soft skin. ‘baby’ ‘beautiful boy, darling mommy…as fucks etc EP: girlfriend ties up bf for ‘fantasy’ sex..turns out to be another guy fucking him…first sucks him off…then gently fucks him up arse while wanking him…slowly, sensually…the guy gets so hard…totally surprised how turned on physically by…and comes from arse fucking…reality porn for connossiers i.e select premium subscribers EP: hostages taken, family – threatened to perform sex acts i.e incest…boy resists but threat to kill him leads mother to begin sucking him off. Father refuses to do daughter, but the daughter takes the initiative similar to mother, to save father etc, sucks him off, gets him hard, then fucks him, and mother fucks son same…mother encourages son to fuck her, daughter same to father, ostentatiously to avoid violence…plays on unconscious Oedipul fantasies of reader i.e they will respond sexually…reveal own nature to…n.b both daughter and mother on pill…point is not whether have urges / desires, but how respond to…denial not productive…can deal with better…transparently etc … and idea that ‘coercion’ frees people to act on Id impulses e.g Mai Lai massacre etc i.e violence, sex, agression, lust…sex and violence of movies indicator of human nature…maybe cathartic… next idea : psychologist gets so horny during session with man or girl so hot for…has to finger self/jerk-off after each session..immediately as closes door to client…standing, then sitting, then laying on sofa, smelling sofa…pillow etc…as patient rich sensualist…never had any problems…lives life of pleasure…analyst there as confidential…and needs to talk about life, what he gets up to..to share it…but cannot trust anyone unless legally bound to confidentiality…his life/comments provoke analyst. EP: man lets young couple stay with him…homeless etc couple…young, hot etc…she lets him more or less rape her to keep place for herself and boyfriend…he finds out…she did it for him…but he leaves her out of jealousy etc…hot fantasy i.e sex with desired girl who cannot say no…i.e control…no risk of rejection…confident can have his way…and no demands made by her i.e including sexual…so always in control…only interactions when he wants sex…therefore no performance anxiety etc…does she stay with him in end? i.e he shows more concern for her than boyfriend did…and now feels low self-esteem maybe i.e at fault for…sort of self-destructive…and nowhere to go…so stays with guy??? next idea : Females often talked for hours before giving opportunity for sex or some sort of confidence or signal to try to seduce, by which time had headache, was exhausted, and any real erotic was gone…but still went through with due to lack of opportunity i.e don’t turn down any opportunity as they are so rare…leading to bad sex next idea : rejection and anticipation of rejection made sexual desire a source of pain, so eventually lost desire eventually, even lost all satisfaction from masturbation, which was the real loss i.e couldn’t experience orgasm, as that was dependant on fantasies being potentially ‘realisable’, which they weren’t,in his mind…so actually couldn’t experience orgasm with girls he did get to sleep with, at least partly because he never chased after girls he really lusted after, as he didn’t believe they could want him, so ended up having sex with girls who were more important to him for emotional reasons, rather than lust…later as self-esteem improved, regained sexual satisfaction, but could only acheive orgasm with girl wanking and using their mouths and tongues at same time…otherwise would ejaculate without orgasm…he gave one girlfriend multiple orgasms, she admitted telling her friends that she thought she loved him, but she resented the power he had over her re: sexual…and in part dumped him due to that … he had been extremely ill for days after being dumped, although at some level he was relieved…he hadn’t really found her that attractive sexually etc…another problem was that he never built up the confidence, or got signals from girls until he had talked to them for hours on end, by which time he was exhausted, and had no interest in sex, more in sleeping, headache etc…and girls gave the impression, or he got it, that they felt that they were doing him a favour, or thought that somehow, which ruined it for him, as he felt he was doing them as much a favour i.e they should only sleep with him if they wanted to, and did so generously and with a free open mind i.e not conceited etc…didn’t like ulterior motives, should fuck only if you had the horn for….too much personal insecurity and financial insecurity re: the cost of dating, going out, dressing better etc…needed sponataneous hot sex when in mood…if not spontaneously horny didn’t expect would enjoy i.e too much experience of bad sex…ironic that early girlfriend (multiple orgasms etc) once complained that he never initiated ‘quickies’, which he didn’t because he had be brought up somehow to think that girls didn’t want sex, but love, and wanted to give them what they wanted…etc etc … later reflected on this…why didn’t she

ever initiate quickies? Why should it be the man’s responsibilty? why wouldn’t females be transparent and fair, and take responsibility for relationships as equals rather than force men to take the initiative and deal with constant rejection and insecurity i.e being chased builds confidence and being rejected (statistically more necessary than acceptance) destroys it…so females tend to grow with confidence and men live in insecurity (if they are sensitive etc)…and force men to pay for all rituals and waste energy…what right do females have to abuse relationships i.e both partners need each other, so why should men bear all the burdens and stress i.e of chasing, rejection, costs of socialising next idea : whenever flirted felt realisation of the pointlessness of doing so…i.e realisation that he had nothing to offer i.e no interest in social life, no interest in reproduction, she’d just get him and thats it…she’d be bored…females expected so much…he just wanted a girl, for her intrinsic value, i.e her physical presence, and ideally personal charm/personality etc…he felt like he was misleading girls when he flirted with them, as they would expect much more than he had to offer i.e they’d only get what they saw i.e few material benefits outside of his physical etc presence…and he knew they took so much for granted i.e that man would take them out, socialise,…he felt like an impostor…like he had no right to flirt with them as was being dishonest i.e they would assume he would offer social life etc next idea : He was attractive, nice…so what the fuck game she playing? He wanted to make dramatic end to i.e no more contact i.e final .. that’s it…just so he’d have had some effect on her i.e memorable for her…and him standing up for self i.e taking control back…but first wanted to give her cousin all the stuff he couldn’t take when he’d leave…and t.v to grandmother..so he couldn’t afford to ‘cold shoulder’ her as he’d wanted…and mabye might get to perve on her again through the grill on the bottom of the bathroom door etc…when horny he needed her so wanked and then felt disgusted with self i.e didn’t NEED her, it was all just hormones i.e need for sex…leading to the self-construction of desire for ‘relationship’, but in reality only needed physical affection and sex…and she just happened to be the best chance of getting it at the moment i.e only potential for sex/affection he was aware of that met his requirements i.e attractive enough etc … if a more attractive etc girl came along she would do just as well…this was reality of all relationships next idea : felt that it was now to late to enjoy her anyway even if she did ‘give in’, as she’d made him wait so long (over 7 months), made him beg, plead, suffer, feel rejected so often, that she’d ruined it anyway..it wouldn’t be a beautiful gift of herself to him…she wouldn’t be ‘giving’ herself to him…he’d already had to pay i.e work so hard for her, so it was no gift…it wouldn’t be an act of generosity…she hadn’t done anything to deserve his loyalty, in fact the opposite…so he’d take what he could get and then forget her..she’d ruined it…love has to be freely given for it to be pure, and provoke loyalty etc…if she didn’t ‘put out’ then, fuck her (irony!)… “you’ll have to wait alone here a few minutes while I shower”…which didn’t seem necessary, unless a sort of invitation to perve? or? Later we cuddled a bit…a bit reluctantly at first but later more naturally on her part…and later when I kissed her several times she kissed me quickly last…and I walked her to work…the ground was slippery, I held the umbrella over her and she passed her arm through mine and we walked arm in arm the whole way to her work (about 20 minutes)…then he began to feel let down i.e why had/did she make it so hard i.e no feeling of loyalty towards,…and sort of no longer wanted her i.e in reality all wanted was easy physical affection, sex, company NOT relationship…NOT need to play game etc. She wasn’t his ideal girl of his dreams….he felt let down…assuming she would now give herself to him etc, why didn’t he deserve better? (He’d experienced this everytime a girl seemed to be giving in to his advances or had) why was she the best he could do?…as usual, once he felt he could have the girl, he wanted a better one i.e felt estranged from his own behaviour in chasing after her. nice girls don’t fuck, and dont want to suck cocks, or be penetrated by hot throbbing penises, or fingered to orgasm by some guy they only want to fuck, and don’t even want to talk to…etc etc next idea : protag felt had no chance of sex, so denied need for, i.e lost apetite for, even sexual response, even masturbation…later on realised, and feared had lost all sexual arousal/satisfaction potential…when felt better about self and chances of being accepted sexually ie of actually being allowed to have sex, then his sexuality returned, and masturbation became pleasureable and stronger…ability to masturbate successfully i.e pleasureable vs merely mechanical and ejaculation, always reflected subjective rating of how likely it was to be able to get sex, to have real sex…when felt attractive and girls flirted then masturbation good, but when rejected and felt no chance of real sex, his fantasies had no power i.e were not capable of being realised therefore not powerful or effective and generating lust and real pleasure. Real fanatasy works when you can convince yourself that it has a chance of becoming real. masturbating, or even worse, sex, without pleasure, just ejaculation, numbness, purely mechanical, with no lust or thrill let alone orgasm..depressing… next idea : sex generally mediocre…get dick wet…get penetrated…the desire exaggerated when no sex available etc i.e compulsion, and fantasy grows, but reality of experience pretty dissappointing, and afterwards regret, or merely wonder at great efforts went to just to get laid…when wanking to good porn would have been hugely more convienient, cheap, and satisfying… in reality all relationships are instrumental…the best they can be is synergistic…but all synergisms erode in a dynamic environment where needs change and environments change…so all synergy ultimately deteriorates…all intense relationships are doomed…and women are merely (at best) serial monogamist whores i.e expect material benefits in return for sex and affection…and insist on maitaining the social definition of moral superiority … they can seek out someone they know they can push to behave badly through their own forms of violence…and then seek and get sympathy when the men, provoked, behave logically…women have a built in means to escape relationships once they are bored, and then appear to be the victim…and get everyone’s sympathy…they often do this sub-conciously…they often are not aware of their motivations and behaviours…in any case their behaviour is opportunistic exploitation…that part of the material benefits are romantic, sentimental emotional rewards changes nothing in principle…romantic love and sentiment is no more moral than pure rapacious lust…they are ends that are sought opportunistically through amoral exploitative means… (what he wouldn’t do to have her naked, smooth, glistening body pressed against his, hot and wet and willing with desire, to hear her whimper in his ear, to moan as she comes, and he empties all his years of unrequited desire into her warm slippery, tight, inviting hole… next idea : Character criticises, in fact loathes etc, the author of Mars and Venus…who reccomends men masturbate less and view less porn so they will be more willing to pay for sex with their own wife re: transaction re: dinners etc for sex… next idea : Char sees ugly/average guys with hot women, and sometimes ugly kids…it is depressing…why should that dork get her, and he gets no-one, or really average girls…but is she with him because he doesn’t ‘pester’ her for sex i.e is he actually rooting her?…and he’ll provide for her and kids etc…maybe she is rooting around, humiliating him, while denying him sex etc…maybe she has lust for hot men but ‘won’t give them the satisfaction’ of rooting her i.e ‘using’ her…maybe she wants total control, and has it, dominating him with her sex…is he rich?…the character ponders whether he would pretend to want kids, go to church with her etc etc just to get to root her… next idea : EP:her fingers felt silky and smooth and very stimulating when dry, but ‘grabby’ and uncomfortable when clammy…and at first fingernail on exposed head of penis stimulating, but as dried out became painful….she touched him until he almost came, enjoying the power, and stopping just before, to savour the power of denying him orgasm…she was a bitch who later complained ‘why didn’t you just root me?’ i.e as if sex was easy for men, only complicated for females…she hadn’t gotten that wet…a dribble of wetness has run out of her vagina…and she wouldn’t let him tease / stimulate her i.e as if sex should be overwhelming desire for any male to see her naked…as if sex is so simple for boys, after girls make it so complicated to arrive at…i.e no sensitivity or erotic input… next idea : Describe typical bad sex encounter i.e girl too rough it hurts him, uncomfortable, headache, rough shaved hair on legs abrasive, and on pussy scratchy, tired, no real lust,…. inform re: ejaculating without orgasm i.e just merely physical vs sexual, like spitting…he ejaculates without feeling anything, she fakes orgasm or whatever if bothers…i.e more typical experience….and describe mediocre experience i.e some sexual feeling but not true full body orgasm etc….and describe actual full on true real authentic great sex i.e inform as to what preconditions and behaviours etc will allow authentic sexual expression and experience i.e ‘teach’ people how to be sensual and sexual again VS myths about how sexually liberated we are… next idea : Use incident,

girl / porn comix , favour bondage and email (what did or didn’t send and embarasst when finds misinterpretation…have P run scenarios thru mind of what expects / hopes will happen when visits…n.b absolute sexual pleasure / arousal based on feeling that the girl actually wants to have sex with him i.e is horny and wants it,….but next day not so sure if wants it i.e and actually relieved when realised misunderstanding , talking to her not knowing that she has sent email making clear didnt want what he thought, but she assumes he’s read, and he only reads after she has been talking a few minutes, so really uncomfortable, thinking she wants what he obliquely offered….considers the emails he wrote and almost sent….even on way home he was unsure if he should have sent, but at time of writing really hot one, he was hot and horny etc at idea of no strings attached hot sex…but he is also dissapointed that she didn’t want him, and feels idiot for sending even subtle mail he sent, and considers how his response would be to be expected, after the way she had talked, stood, and the pictures she had shown him, and was eager to show him etc end misunderstanding sub-plot next idea : side stories about the people and how they come to be involved in the resort and its plan….what they find convincing, how their lives have brought they to this point….what sort of conditions could lead to EP society next idea : Eden protocols starts as holiday resort, full of the most attractive etc staff, to attract the most intelligent, beautiful etc guests, whose genetic material is stolen ie sperm and eggs, and used for breeding…then raised under the optimal moral conditions to become the leaders of the next generation, holding all key positions, until their power is enough to put the eden protocols into practise. The staff are the host mothers, and the resort has its’ own schools etc where the highest reason and ethics are taught….and influence is gathered by seducing wealthy and powerful people using sex videos,etc…and with romantic influence etc of widows and lonely entrepreneurs etc….and the first core are recruited through philosophy societys etc set up to screen people and find those who understand and are committed to the principles of the eden protocols. E.P T.V producer : T.V show-maybe filmed at resort- gorgeous M and F – under total surveillance..if masturbate, they lose money or have to leave show – only sexual release will be with each other…all suveillance…see how horny M and F get i.e human nature Vs denial… Producers taunt, by making them watch porn, and take viagra etc EP producer…get as much If 2 people have desire to fuck etc, and don’t due to society etc then have destroyed, wasted opportunity for positive life experience…level of positive experience in universe…for some illusion, some lie of monogamy… EP porn producer: cute teen, masturbating, imagining doggy style, fingering self bent over on bed and knees…really horny…cumming as dog jumpson, and starts humping…she is lost in ecstasy…cumming hard…over and over…as dog fucks her and cums, dripping down thighs … porn EP producers fantasy. paint on group of men as possible…then tell what using for paintbrush…own panties i.e panties dipped in pain, and must rub all over other contestants…competition between females…so end up rubbing crotch and arses all over men…sexy… EP popstar-producer…appear to be close etc but when she was 13 mother-producer pushed her into career…before meeting with record company manager tells her to ‘do anything…anything he asks…cos he can make you a star and he will if you do whatever he asks…anything…do you understand…remember those videos I showed you? (oral sex, doggie, anal, pissing etc)…she nods…o.k…then go on…you are gonna be rich and famous…a star…do you understand…a star …. EP producer show on relationships: Pre-marriage counselling…including ‘truth syrums’ or ‘hynosis’ to glean from each party exactly what really expect from relationship…and what lies/deceits/deceptions/acts/masks willing to employ to get what want…men don’t know what good for them?…will be happy with females manipulations?…trick into relationships don’t want i.e want casual… then follows up couples over typical stages of relationships e.g John ‘I don’t do alone well’ resulting in marriage to jealous wife and more kids…wife acted like owned him…impression from phone answering, his comments, etc next idea : Internet etc organized orgy-get photos / profiles and select who you fancy / would like to f, and when mutual then gets cross selected for participation in orgy at resort. next idea : make able more able, provide access to positive life experience for all but invest resources in more able…need opium alternative – free sexuality, rent, lifestyle, i.e security and satisfaction i.e most satisfying and real – own cinemas, flirt cafes, swing clubs, porn production (authentic i.e only real sex, real orgasms, real couples with real lust etc for each other) resorts..have private booths in flirt cafes..can view porn and wank, or fuck, or finger etc or just have privacy…one way mirrors so can see others in cafe i.e turn on…or let watch…etc next idea : hypnotism so that partners, wives etc seem ‘hot’ etc … or to hypnotise sex workers etc, so that clients have authentically hot sex experiences i.e workers really hot and horny and come etc….i.e principle of making authentic lust available to everyone independent of chances of birth etc…and to make choice of stable partner and marriage etc more workable i.e lifelong hot sex next idea : Fully clothed sex is pure sex i.e cunts, cocks, mouths, tits only … no distracting ’sensuality’ of skin etc …and panties are more sexual than naked as taboo i.e what you are not supposed to see i.e reminder of transgression of some boundary/taboo is sexy…so spontaneous fully clothed sex in public or at work, or in someone’s bed you fancy i.e the lovers sexy daughter hottest…i.e fuck to cum…pure sex next idea : she knows he comes around at particular time etc to do job, pick stuff up or drop off etc i.e he works for her rich father …she arranges to be in white cotton panties, or just out of shower etc to tease i.e bending over in front of window just as he will be passing…or ‘accidentally’ allow towel to drop…or seduces tradesmen come to work on parents luxury house… or have her peeping through keyhole of bathroom…he goes in, finds her worn cotton panties…sniffs them…rubs soft cotton on his cheek, across face, …loosely brushes over exposed head of cock… places wet gusset directly over nose, head laid back, inhaling deeply the sweet musty scent as he vigorously wanks off…ejaculating over shoulder and onto own face…she gently brushes her fingers over her own wet pussy, and rubs moisture into clit…coming in hard waves…exhilaration of risk of being caught…adrenaline plus authentic horniness…pushed orgasms past usual limit to full body, quivering, breathless, self-forgetting orgasms…forgets self but then suddenly returns from bliss as he’s getting up and coming to door…she stumbles up on weak rubbery legs to reach sofa just as he comes out…she feigns boredom etc…but he notices something that gives her away…and smiles warmly… next idea : innocent authentic sexuality….describe how hot she gets i.e describe arousal…remember shaved girls about 13, putting on panties real slow as I walked up and past on beach, as if enjoying having me watch, and girl who bent over etc etc when I was there, but when younger guy sat near always crouched etc and didn’t show pussy…and how her pussy so open and swollen, bending over…totally excited,and couple on crowded beach, she being fingered, legs spread wide for me to see, he whispering in her ear that I was watching, and girl across road in korea, drying self off, putting on panties LAST!, and girl across way in moscow flat, rubbing oil all over naked body …… next idea : non-penetrative sex in EP i.e beautiful, young, innocent, charming girl on top in panties, slips his cock in from under, into cotton gusset of panties, and he thrusts up along crack, with friction of cotton gusset, and spurts all over her pussy and stomach etc i.e lots of erotic non-penetrative sex, to encourage sexual expression etc … write truly erotic stuff i.e sensual, but refined and really erotic vs mechanical etc next idea : backpacker girl-said? re: lovers being proud at just being able to come after being wanked and sucked off into girls mouths i.e penetration not as common as need to be genuinely aroused, and most girls not arousing enough i.e describe bad sex vs authentic sex next idea : tahiti-girls as young as 12 initiated into sex, learn oral sex, and practise on Captain cooks men, no wonder they didn’t want to leave…only they had no STD’s, and many caught western diseases from their lovers…but until then tahitians enjoyed very liberal and natural sexuality next idea : she looked forward to seeing the video they had made, knowing plenty of people would be wanking …girls and boys of all ages coming while fantasising about fucking her…and to going back to school after the holidays…she was so proud of her performance, so morally satisfied at having given so much pleasure and having realised her own sexual potential…as the founder (of EP) had wanted….year 9 would be great (i.e up to this point we don’t know how old she is at all…first shocked that school girl, then realise only 15) she had just turned 15, and hence the ‘orgy’ to celebrate…she’d ‘had’, and had been ‘had’ heaps of times since she had began to orgasm, and then to associate that arousal and orgasm with sex, with fantasies of fucking and being fucked by boys and girls, men and women…to feel ‘comfortable’ with expressing her sexuality with others…she thought back to earlier experiences…at 11, being fingered by ______, …in the _______….. next idea : what like to hear i.e makes horny….”come in my mouth”,

come for me”, “I want you to come, quick, quick, come…”, “come for me” … i.e to want partner to orgasm, vs opposite i.e wait, not yet etc i.e pleasure each other seperately if don’t naturally come together i.e finish each other off after one comes…i.e no stress in sex … stress in sex ruins it… next idea : Female who loves luring happy young priveledged girls to rape scenes, and gets off watching them being humiliated, like she feels humiliated by them and their priveledges and lifestyles and luxuries and opportunities i.e violence that goes in must come out… next idea : thin skirt flounces as walks, and breeze…from right angle catch glimpse of white panty crotch…sweet liquor of gusset scent…thick cotton gusset soaked in pussy juice push nose into crack…hungry penetration next idea : EP young stewardness…first class passenger on long haul flight…famous, rich, sexy, … develop as situation for really sexy, erotic piece…i.e demonstrate what turns a woman on…his rich smell, his status, his confidence…and a really sensual, sexy, description of innocent sex, of authentic lust…between two beautiful people… next idea : kissing, her sitting on his lap, legs wide, wrapped around him, tongue kissing, she’s in mini skirt and cotton panties, he in thin material, she rubbing her wet cotton panty crotch against his erection..breath warm and moist and sweet and hot…panting next idea : perving on girl in shower, 14 y.o daughter of friends father…she had hots for him, but he didn’t know til later…she shaved pussy…he was so excited trying to get closer look his head banged door…she probably knew? she enjoyed it? him perving? once he had opened door and look on her face was that she had been perving on him, and pretended, like he had, that she was looking in cupboard…he then realised that he had hung stuff over door, which had blocked view…and then she began to do same…tho if he thought she liked looking he would have deliberately left keyhole free…later, 23y.o showering, sliding door, left gap could see through if tried…she wasn’t shaved…did she see him perving? sometimes seemed so….in both cases thought they liked it, got off on it made it even more exciting…o/w she showed dislike, disdain, criticism of him, brought guys home 3 a.m talked etc, but never heard sex noises or smelt sex…She did stuff to piss him off… next idea : Sensual description of fantasy guy has about gorgeous, innocent, pure, naive, sexy schoolgirl or shop assistant…of intimacy of golden shower…the soul cleansing power of the beautiful positive lust a lovely clean smelling etc girl can provide i.e sacred sex…holy…cleansing…bliss producing…total annhihalation and perfect oblivion…totally lost in the experience, in the totality of her lust, her perfume, her soft silky firm skin….i.e really sensual and authentic…and good, and honest and political and affirming etc next idea : Horny guy…standing outside toilet…only a few centimeters of wood between him and girl, he knew it in his very core…he could feel the reality of it…just so close they were slipping down their panties, their sexy or innocent white cotton panties, revealing their beautiful smooth vaginas, or smoothly and innocently furry snatches to the cool air, exposed for anyone to see…and all he had to do was open the door…but he couldn’t…there might as well have been mountains and oceans between him and those tantalising vaginas, and clear bright eyes, warm sexy smiles, cute noses, and trembling, gasping, contracting thighs, mouths, and vaginas…It was so painful, so unfair…so cruel… next idea : validate female sexuality of young girls…i.e masturbating in bath, directing stream of water from tap onto clitoris, ceasing to breathe as every muscle involuntariy contracts in the peak of an orgasm that takes their breath, their total awareness, for 15 seconds, in the ‘petite mord’ of orgasm. next idea : Sexually liberated mother encourages daughter to explore own sexuality responsibly…empowers her to enjoy possibilities of sexuality while minimising potential harms….14 y.o … they discuss some cute boys etc…she’s ready to fuck…mother supports etc…another sister, older, not so interested yet…that’s o.k too…each individual different…point is to be authentic, and informed consent…personal empowerment…maybe include older man (to appeal to that part of market…and to girls who fantasise about sex with their teacher, tutor, mothers boyfriend, etc…)…note aim to educate, empower, transparency, informed consent, authenticity, validation of wide range personal choices / interests etc and harm minimisation i.e optimalisation of human sexuality… next idea : validation of innocence of lust, sexuality…interactions…innocent sex…girl at home with older sister’s boyfriend..says “U want to see my pussy, don’t you!”, all coy and innocent…’show me yours, I’ll show you mine’…he takes off pants…she slips panties down…both fascinated by the others sex, he gets hard, she gets wet…they touch each other tenderly, fascinated by the pulsating hardness, and the silky wetness…no words…they continue to innocently fondle each other, their tongues move to each others tongues and mouths, open, breathing heavily, the sweet aroma of sex hormones…fingering, wanking each other…he whimpers as he shoots load upon load over her breasts and stomach, and she becomes absolutely still, her every muscle both completely taught and completely relaxed at the same time, her breath completely stopped, as her orgasm completely takes over her every fibre, her every ‘knowledge’ and ‘being’…trembling with the waves of pleasure that pulse from her toes to her nipples to her forehead, to her sex… next idea : alternatively etc…she leaves the bedroom / bathroom door open as she undresses, pees etc, eagerly aroused by the prospect of , being turned on my the idea of, a voyeur watching her, the visitor, the guy across the road etc…i.e validate fantasy, and erotic pleasure of being watched, watching etc.. next idea : M or F are blindfolded, hands tied, and then they are fucked by, and fuck, strangers…. next idea : offered, if change a bit, Million dollar deal by neo nazis publisher…he is realist, like real nazis, and knows that I am not a nazi, but book will promote some of his interests, …at office innocent georgeous girls ….he explains that they want to thank me for my contribution to the cause…and they go on to fulfil everyknow possible sexual fantasy, in the most innocent, sensual, hot, horny, mutually orgasmic scenes… next idea : prostitute felt o.k servicing sad, lonely, ie losers, as she felt superior, and empowered…but resented being ‘fucked’ and used by good looking guys that she would in reality like to have a relationship with…they weren’t seeking any warmth like the losers, they were secure and confident, and made her feel inferior and lonely and used. next idea : depressed feeling after sex-rush, i.e dissapointment that life is so seedy and ugly, i.e not hot sex with love, afftection, guilt of using, dirty if feel being used, and desire for mutual lust…feeling magnified by how you come to interaction i.e what you are seeking, needing, whether feeling weak and vulnerable or strong and just looking for good time next idea : What harm is done if your female partner wants to suck some guys cock, and have his come all over her face? …slipping her panties aside and slipping his cock into her eager, wet slit? Property rights? The thought of caring for another mans child? So you don’t love children unless they are yours? next idea : Lonely P in crappy bedsit, dreams beautiful young, gentle, girl comes to him, caressing him, sucks his cock innocently, wanting to please him, to ease his troubles, then rides him, coming loudly and innocently, totally unselfconsciously, free, and sweet and innocent, and then snuggles up to him next idea : true story rostock: couple on beach, she kept eyes shut as legs wide open, he was telling her I was watching and frigging her cunt, legs wide open, letting me clearly see her pussy being fingered, she was wanking him too, but he didn’t get hard enough for her to ride him, like she wanted to …could see the look on her face as she came….at top of full beach, behind knee high wind break , people to front, left and right next idea : F (etc), won’t see that availability itself is sexy i.e opportunity for easy sex is sexy…i.e any reasonably attractive female will make guy horny if she is keen on sex i.e certainty or offer of sex is sexy…eg. arousal at email / sms from idea of easy sex sexy more than anything particular about the particular female…but they want fiction of being ’special’ i.e romantic delusions….have to act as if it is them in particular that is sexy, rather than simply finding idea of having easy sex with available female as sexy next idea : N.B sleeping with boss for job or promotion is like wasting time, money etc getting degree, to prove how far will go for company re: game theory…as long as doesn’t force to have sex to get job i.e she offers, then no exploitation next idea : young naive girl invited to job interview…then forced to have sex, in all possible variations, i.e too strong and threaten violence…only at end can we see that we have been witnessing filming of porno i.e camera men and director comes into shot, and girl laughs with men etc i.e working together friendly like, to catch reader off-guard ie will be aroused by, but would otherwise deny authentic arousal, and at end writer makes it o.k to admit to, as there were no victims! Have seen such porn stories years after had idea self i.e story looks like rape story, and victim enjoys, and only at end are we aware that it is merely a females fantasy, as she gets up after masturbating to it… next idea : set up politician, young girl ‘rapes’ him…he has been tied up by hooker etc she seduces him, turns him on, and does everything to make him think she is enjoying it, so it

really turns him on and he gets into it, but it is filmed and she later claims (as per plan) that it was rape,….she is very young anyway, so politician couldn’t risk being blackmailed, and can even respect the cunningness of the plan, and goes along with them in their plan, i.e for ethical govt changes etc next idea : she had look of girl who had arranged with her lover to not wear underwear during t.v show or interview…secret sexy act..sexy smiling self satisfied next idea : tall, thin, bee sting nipples on pert breasts, nipples pointing to sky, lovely full curve under…light pubic hair..15y.o?…sees older man earlier in plot, just in passing…longingly…he feels surge of desire for her….but pushes down…later she’s lost in bush…wet/cold…he finds..alone…they are alone…free from society’s gaze and judgement…free…undresses her, she is shivering and wet…puts her in sleeping bag…she is still too cold and shivering…so he strips off and gets in with her..embracing her thin naked body, her cold wet skin against his…they fall asleep…wake in embrace, with raging horn, both…hot godless thoughtless sex…use each other greedily, coming and coming……OR masturbation scenes of 14y.o fantasizing about older man…neighbour or so…i.e sexual empowerment and reality … maybe he catches her on toilet fingering self and coming, by accident…or in shower… next idea : Sentimental / romantic…lying in bed…feels as if changing through colors…becomes being of different colors…jolted as changes color, as color flows through like energy…feels/sees beautiful, loving, etc female of same colors…smiling/warmly i.e what we all desire ie sentiment…i.e soul partners…acceptance, love, …she lowers down upon him until two hearts re-joining…lights pulsin, scintillating, coruscating…total peace on face…total calm, combination face changing/modulating slightly now and then to reveal one or the other face…bliss…union…perceptions/consciousness then replaced with pure pulsating light…and fades as falls asleep…wakes in calm peace..with longing for prev. nights experience next idea : A couple come home, early a.m, turn the lights on, and make love with the curtains open, knowing that the only person who can see them is the lonely guy who lives in an adjacent apartment…his light was on, so they knew he was up…he goes to bed, and by pure chance looks up and sees them making love…she actually makes eye contact with him as she is coming…she has empathy for him…or alternatively a bi-sexual girl brings home a female lover and lets him watch as an act of empathy, out of compassion and generosity, i.e leaves curtains open… next idea : explore sexuality, insecurity etc…i.e power makes horny as guarantees leverage i.e the certainty or confidence that any sexual advances will be welcomed or at least accommodated i.e blackmail or ‘casting couch’ , ’sleeping way to top’ etc i.e she gets what she wants and he gets what he wants i.e control, confidence…no need for games, can be confident, which is sexy to females, can openly lust, which she enjoys too…and he can enjoy authentic genuine hot sex, and she might as well, or at least be positive about the interaction i.e he gets sex he wants, and she gets whatever she wants, so both happy … next idea : show disappointment of couple…shag and shag but can’t come i.e disappointing…lying in bed together afterwards…feeling disappointed…feeling depressed…really estranged, neither wanting or daring to say anything, as it would mean the loneliness of realising they were going their separate ways i.e it wasn’t going to work…uncomfortable, awkward, terrifying, anticipation of the end and the loneliness, the desolation and heavy burden of isolation… next idea : sees gorgeous girl, she sits next to guy, obviously boyfriend, casual touching, etc and awakes longing in protag. for such intimacy, comfort, and affection…much more potent that mere need for sex! next idea : Exploration human sexuality: gorgeous sister feels sorry for brother, who can’t manage to find a girlfriend, get laid etc…she sees how he suffers…etc etc…eventually, perhaps a bit drunk or stoned, when she feels he is especially depressed and she wants to help (her female friends don’t fancy him either … he is too sensitive etc…brother and sister have always been very close and intimate and affectionate etc…and …. they end up having really great sex….what happens after?…both enjoyed it… know socially unaccpted (though if internet any guide seems a common fantasy at least, and freud went on about lust for parents)…and it happens again…and again…i.e great sex…they really care about each other…they are sensitive etc to each other….and she is hot…. next idea : Giving guitar lesson…gets 12 y.o to sit in front / in lap…she’s all sweet breath, warmth, open smiles, authentic friendliness…he rests hands on her thigh…then closer…she’s in skirt or loose track pants or loose shorts…eventually terrified but compelled to…and increases in confidence, so still fundamentally terrified, as she welcomes his touch, smiling sweetly with eyes full of desire, and moving to give him easier access, mouth just parted – pouting, breath warm and sweet, clearly welcoming him to go further…he can smell her arousal, her hot horniness, on her breath….he brushes his fingers against her crotch, almost casually, as if his hand just fell there naturally, as if he was guiding her hand on the fretboard, or touching her shoulder…his fingers rest exactly on her clitoris, …her clitoris throbbing with ignited lust just below the thin layer of material….she stops breathing, her face contorted in an orgasmic bliss, her hips slightly raised, her stomach tightly compressed, her blood turned to warm honey, her every muscle contracted, oxygen depleted from every cell, the pleasure filling her from her fingers to her toes…involuntarily moaning slightly, her panties soaked, her gusset wet…at the same time the pressure of her leaning against him, his frenulum against the material of his pants, he mirrors her movements, and a stream of hot semen powerfully flows in a steady stream, his full body orgasm involuntary and overwhelming…(either as wet dream … of girl or guy? or social commentary that sexual lust etc and capacity for orgasm etc can occur very young, and that voluntary sexual encounters not necessarily negative, … just society makes her feel guilty for feeling such lust and orgasm, so that she feels she has done something wrong, and that therefore the man has done something wrong by seducing her to do something wrong, and this being the only dynamic that actually produces any problem in the situation, rather than the sexual interaction itself) next idea : loose skirt over narrow hips, slender thighs, girlish, hot , wanted to glide his hand up her smooth legs, her inner thighs, 2 her warm, moist panties, to slip them aside, and push his nose between her wet warm vaginal lips, to be intoxicated by the spicy sweet scent of her sex, breathe her in deeply, sending adrenaline from his toes to his finger tips, his body completely aroused and his blood turned to warm honey, his deep muscles contracted, his total attention concentrated on the perineum of his cock, his breath disappearing, light, …his cock longing for the wet friction of her cunt next idea : parents in EP? swap videos of own teen children naked, showering, masturbating, having sex with girl/boyfriends, sexual experimentation etc…as positive? what angle on? no angle? i.e leave to reader, lead reader nowhere? next idea : security guard…catches sexy young girl-she intimates will let him feel her up etc if let go i.e I stole these panties too-lifting up skirt-last time-here,I’d better take them off -… gets horn on through excitement of shoplifting,20 y.o or teen or 30 y.o etc..seduces i.e hot tells guard-wants it-bends over table provocatively, moving hips like fucking, like coming-see for yourself…encourages to lift skirt, panties etc fucks like mad, she comes really quickly…or guard just tries it on, i.e talking calmly while moving closer, putting hand on leg, up skirt, and under panties and talking normal, both, as if just casually talking, etc until both hot and fucking next idea : have female preparing for sex with boyfriend…maybe first time…shaves pussy…nicest lingerie etc etc …follow build up of emotions etc i.e anticipation of amazing event…lives in secure building…buzzes in her lover, in lingerie etc…but gang waiting, and take him out and enter building, and knock on door…she opens without looking, all expectant, and gang burst in and do their worst with her next idea : she was sore, (vaginally and anally), couldn’t walk straight, but calm, satisfied, peace of mind,…after the ‘ceremony’ – she’d had (how many?) hard cocks ejaculating in and on her – feeling her lust, and positive gratitude-all those faces distorted in orgasmic pleasure, all the sexual gratification, all the relief and satisfaction-some huge cocks stretching her holes, some smaller-she could suck on easily and feel them twitch and the warm hot salty come stream into her mouth, on her face, her tongue – all those greedy hands all over her oiled up body…she looked forward to lying in the warm affectionate arms of her boyfriend – Jon or Luc, or whoever of her ‘gang’ felt like a cuddle….and felt horny at the idea of pissing on Karen…she got off on that…the intimacy, that warm sensual stream…and karen moaning, her warm sweet breath filling her mouth, her wet warm sweet tongue caressing hers… next idea : sub-plot…famous news reporter anchor gets caught in affair with pretty schoolgirl. His fantasy is to catch hot girl shoplifting…He can report or!!!…ie fantasy is to be offered sexual favours in return for not reporting…sub-plot from girl’s p.o.v-she gets hot from excitement of shoplifting i.e risk taking… next idea : his penis filled with warm honey’d, thick slow flow, grows heavy …he felt its weight, skin

stretching tighter at base, then as head filled, grows out of foreskin, pressure of tightly stretched foreskin around base of head …stops breathing, muscles all contract…timeless…totally taken by pleasure, nothing exists but the pleasure, full body orgasm… next idea : security guard / rich girls story…in large dept. store…backpack ends up in dept. store (sub plot to arrival )…He takes job really superficially..opportunity to consider casualisation of workforce i.e expected to work 3 hour shifts…really despises…deliberately lets shoplifters off…why should he care about interests of exploiters? Etc i.e effects of alienation, no loyalty etc of of exploitation…(we later discover he lost good job as whistleblower…and shoplifter erotic girl daughter of bosses i.e they live happy ever after…and re-enact their mutual-reciprocal fantasy over and over )…when describing interaction flow text like fantasy i.e focus on sex, not how and why, i.e don’t worry how get from a to b, just focus on sexy a and b….all interactions unspoken and naturally flowing i.e no coercion…both play out fantasy…she suggests he could ‘overlook’ incident in return for …she just looks at his crotch and erotically touches herself, brushes hand down crotch, leans forward showing cleavage, …she has put stuff down front of skirt … she dares him…’where is the stuff I’m supposed to have stolen then?’ and he cautiously but encouragedly puts hand down and pulls out panties…she moans in pleasure, … ..she leads him further and further …. No chance of interpretation as victim, though male fantasy is control i.e no fear of rejection…she leads and he hotly follows…both incredibly hot…focus on hot sex of sex…he indicates he has caught her…she is sexually hot from situation, and is authentically attracted to him as he her…describe him perving at her earlier, and how she feels i.e panties rubbing up against clit, nipples hard and rubbing against shirt etc …and she sort of leads to idea of quid pro quo and he sort of does too…spontaneous, uncomplicated, neither need expose self to rejection i.e guaranteed sex, no risk rejection etc…(like koran martyr promise)…white panty fumbling…she gently gets his cock out…just her soft warm accepting touch and warm breath…the anticipation…on penis head brings him to exquisite pleasure…stops breathing…all muscles tighten …total body orgasm…tip of her tongue hardly touches perineum (like clit on penis)…his blood turns to warm honey, to drug..entire body full of warm honeyed lust…as her warm wet tongue and mouth accept his cock he comes in continuous stream directly down back of her throat…she comes empathetically i.e psychology…his fingers lightly brushing her clit and smooth slit…ready moisture as lightly brushes along crack, opens wet and slippery…i.e really authentic hot sex…describe white panties, moist crotch tightly outlining crack…and they have hot quick mindless selfless (re-no self consciousness , doubt, fear, etc ) sex…he comes deep in her… next idea : EP: from p.o.v of 15 y.o girl…perving on daddy’s friend in bathroom wanking…huge hard beautiful cock…watches through keyhole…she is bent over, her brothers friend or her male friend sees her beautiful white pantied crotch, as she touches herself without thinking…he blackmails i.e jokingly threatens to dob her in …then later male perving on her (same fathers friend she was perving on?) i.e mutual voyeurism…she spreads legs, bends over, knowing he is watching, so he can get a good view through keyhole, or vents on bottom of door\ next idea : Char. – lecturer- teacher/tutor…fantasises re: cute female students, parents leave, she says wants to show him DVD / internet etc shows teen sex couple…shows how she wanks..etc i.e guy everyone would envy i.e no doubts…does what produces pleasure i.e no victim i.e no dilemmas…i.e natural sexuality..BUT we’re jealous i.e he’s to lucky and no qualms i.e a ‘cad’ etc i.e mere opportunist, without any concern about potential future consequences etc next idea : gameshow etc male and female … winners get luxury 6 month world travel, during which they have to participate in erotic activities i.e really sexy sensual erotic interactions, including homo and group etc and exhibitionism next idea : just seeing womans name on his mobiile i.e that she had sent me text, gave him huge pleasureable hard on i.e pure turn on…in anticipation of what she’d written and what might happen i.e explicit sms’s sent to her and favourably received…automatic response simply to name on phone..such arousal and excitement next idea : devastating impact of lust…sexily slender girl, low cut jeans, can see flat curve of stomach down to…pretty pink lace panties showing…lusts to pull down with teeth, nose following crack of cunt down to sweet wet pussy crack and sweet wet cotton crotch, to bather in sweet aroma and wetness of her cunt….express lust that has no chance of expression i.e power of, devastating nature of unrequited lust, i.e objects of desire and affection next idea : young girl seduces…finds reasons to visit, or be alone with…nb. sociological i.e show authentic sex and crap ulterior motive sex i.e right and wrong sex…do you want me to come in your mouth (obvious request)…no equals rejection i.e great orgasm i.e mentally sexy i.e acceptance of self by another… next idea : His hips automatically writhing, pumping, needing to penetrate her, his whole existence reduced to this need…it was a pure and enduring point within the universe…his existence defined by it.. next idea : she-14-gorgeous-intuiting warm friendly eyes, smile, open and warm and inviting and appealing and accepting and approving-”would you like to taste my pussy?” i.e explicit, warm, direct, positive, inviting, genuine, sexual description-he imagines the sweet curve of her stomach, smooth slender thighs,ready wetness of lips-vaginal and usual-and he responds as he thinks he ‘should’ i.e asks her if she wouldn’t really rather a warm hug etc…and wonders self whether he is being stupid for giving up such an opportunity for such a beautiful, hot, erotic, sensual experience, but feels more for her than lust. (maybe rewarded later with great sex…or she just shrugs shoulders and roots some other man i.e he is a loser…idiot!…different possible ways of seeing etc) next idea : 11 ear pld masturbating-let jet of water hit clitoris etc producing massive full body orgasm i.e cease breathing from pleasure producing full body pleasure i.e little death…and in car full of family on long trip-puts hands under blanket, down track pants, rub and come…guy wanking next idea : saw young girls, lovely turned ankles, legs, short skirts, crossed legs, glimpses of panty crotch, cleavage, i.e revealing tops and bras…maybe 15 years old? now that was a reason to live… next idea : viewing porn at jobsearch provider…rubbing self through pants i.e nylon shorts…then stop, as staff walk by (female) but arousal so great and keeps rising, so that without further stimulation ends up coming and coming and ejaculating and ejaculating (virtually multiple orgasm) in pants…presence of females in office, and adrenaline/fear/elicit might get caught etc..girl with lovely shaved pussy in see through panties on port site got him off next idea : smells, textures, of sex…perfume, hair, clothing, mouth, …nibble back of neck while fondling breast and near clitoris, pulling skin around clit without touching, i.e pressure, and then light brushing next idea : sometimes sight of vagina, especially open one, arousing, other times nauseating, disgusting, repugnant, depending on level of hormones, arousal etc … though pretty closed vagina always pretty i.e innocent folds and cleavage vs big meaty open lips i.e flower sometimes sex per se just boring, and could think of much more interesting things to do i.e dependant on hormones etc next idea : Fantasy and then reality sex, to juxtapose…incl what goes on in the minds of the actors and victims etc next idea : Porn : best erotica play of fantasy ie meet someone, turned on, talk to them normally while putting hand up skirt etc ie spontaneous without ties next idea : Reader tricked ie participates in act, without knowing that it is in fact a scene from a film eg innocent girl lured to office with promise, then told she will be raped by them, that she has no way out, and that they will be filming it, and if she dobs in, they will claim it was a shooting for a porn film, and they have fake contracts etc to investigate rape fantasy ie of rejection feelings leading to enjoying breaking her spirit like she broke theirs by rejecting them etc ie life ie audience fantasy of ruining successful positive person and making them like themselves ie ruined, failures etc ie girls face changes from positive go getter with all the best ahead of her to ruined figure etc …then at end they revert to real selves, and it becomes obvious to reader that they are actually really filming a film, and that she is actually self empowered etc ie allows audience contact with own fantasy and motivations etc next idea : porn-f not wet or horny-if were, would come in few minutes-M don’t ’shoot’ and can only come if wank self – so rarely authentic or stimulating…merely mechanical…f can come as fast as man if genuinely hot next idea : Female arranges rapes, to lure innocent young girls with bright futures to rapes, so can watch, out of envy, jealousy etc i.e these girls will have every opportunity that has been denied her, and so she is getting revenge now, they won’t do anything to help her later, merely take advantage of situation, like she is now…they make videos and sell etc F helps boyfriend lure girls for him to rape..to humiliate etc next idea : his penis filled with warm honey’d, thick slow flow, grows heavy …he felt its weight, skin stretching tighter at base, then as head filled, grows out of foreskin, pressure of tightly stretched foreskin

around base of head …stops breathing, muscles all contract…timeless…totally taken by pleasure, nothing exists but the pleasure, full body orgasm… next idea : erotic…cock ‘twitched’ in her hand before… i.e good word next idea : saw beautiful teen guy with lovlely young groupies in mall café, all sitting around table and kneeling next to him at table…swarmed around him…all wet and keen and ready to have him penetrate their wet cunts, to ejaculate his warm load into their wet mouths and into their tight asseholes (to stop getting pregnant! He would say!) wanted to be him, and feel that ready eagerness/ desire of such lovely pure sexual ready eager almost sex slaves…ie give themselves up in abandon of delight and willingness for penetration from their adored idol next idea : re:japan-sex kiosk…characters have different motivations eg curious,sexual, financial, pyschological e.g don’t orgasm etc…maybe can’t and seeking, or punishing self, or trying to get back at strict unloving parents i.e it pisses parents off i.e attention and some reaction/emotion from better than being ignored etc, want to shock parents and friends.. characters meet, or we meet i.e in story, and learn about different motivations etc for sexual interactions…female and male clients n.b in japan over 12? or 13 etc females can basically negotiate sexual interactions self i.e prostitute, but illegal for pimps etc…whether this in reality the case i.e existence of one makes forced etc exploitative prostitution easier? different motivations, needs, problems i.e complexity of sex/love/relationships/interactions investigated/considered/revealed/etc next idea : model sexual interactions and rationale and orgasmic and social outcomes…including youth i.e freedom, own sexuality, no guilt or exploitation i.e inform totally so can give informed consent i.e own sexuality plus responsibility to others i.e diseases / pregnancies n.b contraception automatic…procedure like immunisation, just before puberty…males given vasectomies instead of circumcisions! next idea : start EP with statistics-’unbelievable facts’ about pre-EP society (i.e current state of affairs), presenting changes as fait accomplis…and follow with EP one i.e ‘current’ ones eg average/mean IQ etc, with ‘footnotes’ about pre-EP abuse of statistics i.e presentation of misleading ‘averages’ etc i.e present EP stats as modes etc…later can do ‘history lessons’ of how EP came to be…i.e problems met, and solutions found…i.e problems required EP founders to… next idea : MHR failure to have sex is form of contraception i.e god gave horny so you’d fuck and have kids…if you don’t fuck when horny you are in effect challenging god’s will of horny fucking, and practising contraception i.e contra-conception! ie if you don’t fuck you won’t go forth and multiply next idea : Bend over…transparent panties…see slit…slip flimsy cotton etc aside, run finger over crack, opening her wet slit…and hump her…she likes it so…animal…impersonal…used as a sex object…pure orgasm and pleasure, no complications or responsibilities next idea : blushing erotic…approximates a wet slit’s color, erect puffy nipples young teen buds clear to see through her shirt, as she stares at the mans chest…and older woman, washing car, talking to him, her nipples standing out through her thin t-shirt…then a neighbour approaches, and they return to normal, making the previous erections even clearer (in his mind i.e no mistake!) next idea : have one character , male or female (maybe two find each other?) who is too easily distracted to really enjoy real sex…never really orgasms with partner…learns to fantasise (with sexy therapist?) and focus on hottest parts, rather than worry about how got from a to b, is it politically correct eg fantasy real estate woman, skirt riding up, sees crotch, she knows he has and gets hot at thought of him hot for her…he casually, looking for any sign that attention unwelcome, moves hand across, first to leg, then to crotch, then fingers her clit as her moisture wicks through cotton gusset and floods her pussy, dark wet stain on painties…his erection bulging…her hand moves over to release it gently from his trousers, gently brushes finger tips up and down shaft, then around tight ring of foreskin around base of head…then leans over, warm breath, wet, warm inviting lips, mouth, and tongue … gives blow job in car…but distracted by thought …is she still driving, accident , police etc?…so he practises again, letting himself flow from hot bit to hot bit without ‘worrying’ about how got from a to b or anything outside of hotness of fantasy…he describes fantasy to therapist…his eyes closed…she gets hot too… next idea : skirt rising i.e woman driver in drivers seat i.e skirt rises, hard to adjust…revealing point of panty…he touches…her breathing stops i.e orgasm! next idea : EP: pushed hand down between thighs, without actually touching pussy..then gently/lightly dabbing pussy near hole, under panties, barely brushing total crack including clit area…until felt wetness seep and then slightly running fingers …dabbing side to side of and on crack, until felt it open up and wetness flood out…so could run fingers up and down total lenght of crack on her silky lubrication, feeling her open and wet next idea : sex as ‘enriching’ life experience…sensuality and sexuality must be seen as life-enriching i.e defined in terms of potential for enriching life, rather than narrow romantic and ‘family’ focus…and validation of sex for fun and pleasure vs ’serious’ i.e means to ends rather than end in itself next idea : young hot female believes she is an alien, or she in fact is…i.e new in body etc…goes to doctor and says she feels a strange sensation between her legs…she pulls up skirt, legs wide, and shows where…But if I do this, she says, rubbing her slit and clit and beginning masturbating, it feels, ohhhhh…and I …. oh god……Is that normal? (Or doctors fantasy-or hers, and he just goes along for kinky ride….or dream…) next idea : cold looking blonde exciting as useable sex object i.e not warm, caring person, so can use her for sex without feeling any guilt etc next idea : real and romantic sentiment/experience…beauty of moment in which love feels eternal…there is an eternity in the longing glance of a beautiful girl/boy – in her smile of agreement to carnal lusting-her generosity in coming with your cock in her wet cunt-coming loudly, with your tongue lapping hers, your fingers in her tight wet cunt-fingering her wetness…moaning warm sweet breath into your mouth and nose…..etc i.e show real powerful feelings and their sensual reality and temporal timelessness next idea : Describe real authentic sexiness, lust…slight, concentrated movements of hips, instinctive, not-conscious, next idea : gets prostitute etc or girl infatuated with him, to pick up guys she finds hot, and let them fuck her in front of him, or others i.e he gets off on others real lust i.e genuine lust vs what generally occurs in sex i.e real, hard, hot, horny, fucking… next idea : sub-plot…famous news reporter anchor gets caught in affair with pretty schoolgirl his fantasy is to catch hot girl shoplifting…He can report or!!!…ie fantasy is to be offered sexual favours in return for not reporting…sub-plot from girl’s p.o.v-she gets hot from excitement of shoplifting i.e risk taking… t idea : security guard / rich girls story…in large dept. store…opportunity to consider casualisation of workforce i.e expected to work 3 hour shifts…really despises…deliberately lets shoplifters off…why should he care about interests of exploiters? Etc i.e effects of alienation, no loyalty etc of of exploitation…(we later discover he lost good job as whistleblower…and shoplifter erotic girl daughter of bosses i.e they live happy ever after…and re-enact their mutual-reciprocal fantasy over and over )…when describing interaction flow text like fantasy i.e focus on sex, not how and why, i.e don’t worry how get from a to b, just focus on sexy a and b….all interactions unspoken and naturally flowing i.e no coercion…both play out fantasy…she suggests he could ‘overlook’ incident in return for …she just looks at his crotch and erotically touches herself, brushes hand down crotch, leans forward showing cleavage, …she has put stuff down front of skirt … she dares him…’where is the stuff I’m supposed to have stolen then?’ and he cautiously but encouragedly puts hand down and pulls out panties…she moans in pleasure, … ..she leads him further and further …. No chance of interpretation as victim, though male fantasy is control i.e no fear of rejection…she leads and he hotly follows…both incredibly hot…focus on hot sex of sex…he indicates he has caught her…she is sexually hot from situation, and is authentically attracted to him as he her…describe him perving at her earlier, and how she feels i.e panties rubbing up against clit, nipples hard and rubbing against shirt etc …and she sort of leads to idea of quid pro quo and he sort of does too…spontaneous, uncomplicated, neither need expose self to rejection i.e guaranteed sex, no risk rejection etc…(like koran martyr promise)…white panty fumbling…she gently gets his cock out…just her soft warm accepting touch and warm breath…the anticipation…on penis head brings him to exquisite pleasure…stops breathing…all muscles tighten …total body orgasm…tip of her tongue hardly touches perineum (like clit on penis)…his blood turns to warm honey, to drug..entire body full of warm honeyed lust…as her warm wet tongue and mouth accept his cock he comes in continuous stream directly down back of her throat…she comes empathetically i.e psychology…his fingers lightly brushing her clit and smooth slit…ready moisture as lightly brushes along crack, opens wet and slippery…i.e really authentic hot sex…describe white panties, moist crotch tightly outlining crack…and they have hot quick mindless

selfless (re-no self consciousness , doubt, fear, etc ) sex…he comes deep in her… Young girl shows her tutor an internet site or video of girls masturbating, wanking guys off, blow jobs etc and asks if that is o.k? Normal? Would he teach her? Is that what boys like? i.e innocent hot sex…no deceits, lies, exploitation. EP girl fondling small penis, and fascinated as grows under her touch…pleasantly surprised/enthralled at her sense of power as it pumps hard and pink-purple…after lifting blanket to see…sight of hard cock admiring turns on so hot that just has to fuck, has to have it inside her…pumping…cumming… EP: girl has been horny for ages…slips and falls in shower, only in towel…knocks self out…no1 else around hostel…he spreads her legs, perves at her cunt and arse…turns her over, bends over knees and perves from behind…and tits..feels up…licks…smells…rubs clit…she gets wet… OR she is raped …he sees and rapists force him to participate so he cannot report…he plans this way…so can fuck/rape..then will report and get off (gets off twice !!) can claim too scared to not… end sexual sensual political cashing-out EP’s job is to persuade people to ‘cash-in’ their life insurance policies once diagnosed with terminal illnesses…good basis for consideration euthanasia, end of life medical costs etc…they offer to pay out lump sums lower than expect medical costs would be…point is most treatment expensive, often painful or humiliating and uncomfortable, and merely delays inevitable w/o adding any quality to life…merely duration… becomes t.v show i.e producer takes up idea for series…documentary or fiction? I became aware of practise on t.v…fiction?… offer palliative care as part of deal i.e pain relief guaranteed i.e do no discomfort…merely no treatment…explains statistics of each illness, prevalence, costs of treatment, iatrogenic consequences of treatment, and focusses on what could do with the payout…enjoy life, quality of life of self and children…many would take money to help children, as know cannot help self any more, and want to do best for them, i.e their responsiblity….under investigation/criticism for allegedy educating re: euthenasia options, and many clients die during palliatitve program from overdoses…though legal system turns blind eye to as tacity supports…and many judges old etc and want euthanasia for self….maybe practise illegal in some countries? So settlements informal, and with secrecey clauses…and only leaked out when some who take deals later panic and ‘blow whistle’ etc… raises all issues to do with ageing population, end of life health care blow-outs, attitudes to death, euthenasia, suicide, religion, pain management, drug criminalisation… Veil of ignorance tech sub-plot next idea : Protag initiates use of hynosis as ‘veil of ignorance’….Potential for hynosis to be used as effective “veil of ignorance”…rather than need for drugs etc Maybe use in EP…actual ability to discriminate re: quality of arguments, and awareness of outcomes etc i.e need to education and make aware first (vs resistance?) … but can hypnotise so that not aware, during decision making process, whether boss, worker, rich, poor, educated, capital owner etc etc … so won’t recognise any narrow vested interest i.e decide on basis could be victim or priveledged in situation…would provoke attempts at specious arguments that vested interests are good…or possibly we may find equality and equity etc undesirable i.e we all, victims and priveledged alike, want chance to gain priveledges and luxuries at expense of unlucky…i.e deluded self-belief, and belief in meritocracy, and denial of facts of determinism and inheritance…..argument about use of hypnosis i.e of veil of ignorance would reveal narrow vested interests i.e who for and who against …. next idea : Rawlin’s veil of ignorance … scientists develop way to simulate a ‘veil of ignorance’ for decision makers. They are provided with unbiased data i.e constructed to reflect reality vs vested interests…and denied, for the period of their decision making, knowledge of who they are, and how they etc stand to benefit or lose from any decision…i.e produces a notion of socially democratic self-interest next idea : people charged with i.e bust of-drug production/use/marketing of drug which neutralised the ‘veil of ignorance’ drug i.e ‘the veil’ which was given to people before referendums, elections, all forms of voting i.e so that would make decision fairest for all given information and limitations i.e given drug before debates about … and debaters given too, so that seek optimal outcomes vs representing narrow vested interests….use scenario as ‘fait accompli’ i.e in narrative ‘the veil’ is a given, i.e has been implemented somehow in past, and scenario gives chance to criticise lack of i.e current state of decision making i.e way to explain function of veil of ignorance and moral reason society etc next idea : If you were an unborn child, then who would you want as parents? Rich, beautiful, talented, intelligent, healthy, emotionally balanced and secure, loving, caring, warm, self-realised…or people like you? Seriously. We need to hypnotise you to see what you’d really chose…we have to discount your protests without that ‘veil of ignorance’… next idea : If only could clear the tale of all dogma, start afresh and with veil of ignorance to prevent opportunistic exploitation of inequality i.e incentive to maintain irresponsible/selfish reproduction…i.e principled social and private action, ability to recognise superior arguments etc and reproduce only superior arguments and things …and no lies/denial/exploitation next idea : We must ‘veil people in ignorance’ re: their own situation…to have assume they are unborn, and will be randomly born to any parents … then ask to select the attributes, characteristics, qualities etc they deem ideal for themselves…and those of their parents … and those of society in general re: equality, exploitation, opportunities etc …in order to demonstrate how universal such ‘choices’ would be i.e and therefore how universal our ‘values’ really are i.e all desire beauty, intelligence, talent etc. N.B that eugenics is more threatening to humans as it values individual traits vs racial ones … thereby defining more individuals as inferior (i.e more individuals will be defined as inferior where individual traits are considered vs ‘racial’ ones i.e racism defines other ‘races’ as inferior…and there are more members of any particular ‘race’ then there are individuals possessing superior qualities! end veil of ignorance sub-plot The pleasure age: possible short story in self or movie script basis next idea : Decode ‘brainstorm’ i.e electronic signals within brain, i.e between synapses or whatever, so can determine which ones produce which responses in body eg move finger…and then use ‘thoughts’ to control external devices eg robot arm etc….eventually producing potential for robotic enhancements/replacements….in EP could be used to operate particular gadgets i.e giving advantage to elites/ priveledged who can afford gadgets…..etc etc Lesions in Amygdala or lynx i.e wild cat, turns it docile and tame. (EP: maybe they ‘tame’ tigers this way, to make pets for rich etc…or just to fulfill eden prophecy in bible i.e tigers live side by side with lambs!). EP: Rat neurons, brain cells, cultured and integrated with robots, who were ‘rewarded’ with electrical stimulation when behave as designers wish, so that they become conditioned to repeat behaviours rewarded / desired…scientists in this field, this study, predict that within a few decades robots will be at the top of the food chain i.e more intelligent than humans… (MHR.this raises question of our designers…they apparently want us to reproduce and compete, exploit? Rape? Murder?) and they note how we exploit our superiority, killing and eating etc animals, so why should robots behave any differently? If we pose threat to them? Will they enslave us? Will they experiment on us? Exterminate us? ( MHR if you programed robots for ‘ethical’ action, would they only respect vegans? Would they feel compelled to end our exploitation of animals? i.e programmed not to harm others…and if programmed to ‘enjoy’ beauty etc, would they instigate eugenics? Could be basis of Eps ) EP: Kevin Warwick…machines will dominate us, as more intelligent. Live brain cells from rats, around 100,000 interconnected neurons used to drive ‘autonomous’ robot. Wireless connection between rat neurons and robot…and output of brain electrical activity … ‘reward’ rat neurons with electrical stimulation i.e ‘likes’ to be stimulated so i.e electrical inputs to neurons approximate our ‘pleasure’. Discovery channel documentary. ‘If you are human, your time is up’ i.e only artificial intelligence and cyborgs ‘own’ the future. EP; Robots are already ‘evolving’ i.e programmed to walk one way, but walk another, more adapted way, without any change in programming i.e ‘fault’ approximating ‘ biological ‘mutation’ i.e faulty replication of DNA…i.e mistake probes adapted, more effective i.e outcome unexpected but superior to what designers had planned. EP: MHR will we be able to transfer awareness from living organism to robot, so never has to die… if can transfer entire brain, then will ‘feel’ see, hear, smell exactly as if were in original body, and free to decide which sensations will produce which ‘senses’ i.e orgasm from smelling coffee… next idea : neuroscience re: chronic pain etc leads to development of new means of inducing pleasure i.e pleasure technologies (even more pleasureable etc than sex or drugs)…introducing new era of pleasure … the patent holders become even wealthier than bill gates etc i.e the age of pleasure…independant of natural world…i.e tune in device to own nervous system, then stimulate body at will, and produce unlimited pleasure…but of course rumours of people

burning out’ nervous system i.e like in conventional drug use…talk of conspiracies and cover ups….but is it merely capitalists trying to misinform i.e no need for status good etc consumption…users need only basic accomodation and nutrition, and can lay back and enjoy….i.e decimate demand for most goods and services…can use for pain relief i.e palliative care, and for euthenasia…huge social consequences…some religions ban members from using…etc etc…but owners of technology become most powerful in world…rich and priveledged want it as much as poor do…and technology mass producible and masses demand it be produced i.e like playstation….maybe hook up with virtual reality technology i.e implants….and in long run priveledged defined by access to implants, i.e used for mind to mind communication, mass communications i.e reception of all broadcast signals, including real time economic data i.e sharemarket, traffic conditions, … need implants to access technology….can even produce ‘god’! … i.e someone produces virtual god…and hard to say if real or not! i.e cult…is it god…i.e has god gotten into the software? revealed himself through the software? i.e users have ‘visions’ and ‘encounters’ and ‘experience the presence of god’ etc which programmers claim (cunning marketing or devious sense of humour?) weren’t programmed into…could be synergistic effects i.e unplanned outcomes of interactions of planned software programs and hardware…or maybe it is actually god!!…maybe this is the evolution of life to the consciousness where it can connect with god once more…maybe this is the heaven promised to us by the prophets…or is it some clever software programmers trying to manipulate us, or teach us something, or do they have some political, or even moral, agenda?????? i.e vehicle for possibilities….can explore what fantasies people have, what they want to experience, and what would if there were no victims, no pareto efficiency, no opportunity costs….etc etc… next idea : lucent dreaming technology…combination hypnosis and drugs? …can enter and leave at will like video game…and possibility of ‘networking’ i.e real time interaction with other people lucent dreaming … i.e social possibility…virtual reality…can agree to forget afterwards…in any case anonymous next idea : lucent dreaming i.e be conscious in dreams…could use for protagonist i.e use lucent dreaming as similar device to science fiction i.e show fait accompli i.e as could be as if actual…and still be able to contrast directly with how things are now, …perhaps mohammad was lucent dreaming when flew to jerusalem i.e the details his cousin had told him about jerusalem and jesus and the bible became vivid in his dreams? ….and in EP could train adherents to lucent dream i.e sort of virtual reality where could root girls etc … maybe learn to construct own worlds etc next idea : lucent dreaming technology? n.b used in vanilla sky … but as ultimate entertainment industry i.e become player in film i.e action hero or romantic figure or porn star…or actor in video game…can design and control own dreams, or participate in scripted ones (re: sc arguments re: determinism)…allow to fly, or be dolphin etc i.e I-max and virtual reality…maybe some Gates type figure at head of…and leads to technology to keep people on life support machines…and eventually become sorts of brains in vats…or even more sophisticated i.e need only awareness centres required for sensory perception etc…and can make totally pain free i.e virtual reality devoid of any possibility of pain…merely negative feedback e.g game over…and can experience ‘death’ and going to all manner of heavens etc…..whole technology becomes an evolutionary gateway…i.e bring on cultural revolution etc and questioning of what we are and can be next idea : lucent? her warm hands on his body, resting, warming, on chest, neck, back, soothing, relaxing… next idea : simulate orgasm i.e like in the movies where they put hands together i.e reproduce in brain whatever happens during orgasm etc so get satisfaction without risks of sex etc…and intimacy will be real i.e based on understanding and affection i.e hugging, kissing etc and no-one misses out next idea : ideal simple life…wake up everyday and fall in love/lust again with partner as if for first time i.e experiences new every day…i.e no recall, so everything fresh…i.e discover partner anew every day, so lust/romance remains keen hot babe…so beautiful and physically perfect …wore virtually nothing, but totally innocent…was she wearing panties? i.e beautiful not self conscious i.e could walk around naked ie nothing to hide or conceal i.e confidence and naturalness, i.e wouldn’t ever feel self-conscious…grace and unassailability…i.e like naked girl of beach…beautiful teen boy didn’t know where to look as she walked out of surf…she was all confidence and empathised with him i.e he was clothed, she was naked, but he felt awkward, she was totally self posessed…just too graceful and beautiful child…innocent….as world should be…rather than ugly, awkward, self-conscious, cold world … we owe our kids this experience end pleasure age goodwill and twists next idea : Show how good-will fickle, unreliable i.e one minute we feel all generous, heroically thinking about how you are going to help someone, fantasising at your heroic gesture etc etc how nice you are … how much you want to help those less fortunate than yourself etc etc …then next hate people next idea : character walking behind boy as they approach a gang of bullies etc…considers how he would intervene to help if they attack…but they walk past, without trouble, and next minute same boy is agressively cutting across his path, irritating him, i.e he is now a pain in the neck…hates him…furious…no brain…as he heads to bin with rubbish in his hand reaching out, and the boy speeds up to try to block him off, when he was walking faster and making a clear line for bin, boy had to speed up to ‘make some point?…the point being?…i.e agressive stupid kid i.e point is to show how our interpretations of people can be so wrong, and how fickle and unreliable our motivations are…re: goodwill and hate etc next idea : Philosopher challenges people e.g attractive, sexy females actress etc appeals for money for charity…philosopher says why not offer lottery … prize of week of sex with her…minimum donation $100 a ticket…and offers to buy first 10 tickets…RE: challenging her sincerity i.e what would she sacrifice to help others…does she REALLY care? next idea : ep police OR detective who had read his works as part of investigating him,deliberately ‘stuff up’ investigations i.e get evidence without warrant, get info using threats etc so that have to be dismissed in court, and no evidence to convict etc …. Police secret society could be part of centuries long secret order i.e tradition…possibly Aryan Christian etc (i.e jesus was moral philosopher who made no claims to being other than human)…i.e they recognise his true leadership qualities, integrity, moral intelligence i.e similar to jesus etc context : apparently in recent criminal action the office of film and literature classification…police didn’t get child porn classified, and therefore child porn criminals got off on technicality…deliberate act by police? integrate scenario into eps i.e corruption in police to get criminals off on technicalities i.e corruption next idea : conspiracy…cops etc told to make stupid errors in investigation and interrogation, so that perpetrator gets off on technical grounds eg take evidence without search warrant, threaten supspect i.e vaguely … so that they in fact collect all the evidence and in fact a confession, but then none of it admissible in court, and thrown out on technicalities…i.e deliberate ploy…perpetrator goes free, leaves country with payment for assasination etc…maybe this plan doesn’t become clear until much later i.e just looks like incompetence or investigators too keen etc and break rules trying to get conviction, when in fact all deliberate…maybe one or two are pawns, and through them we come to realise conspiracy, maybe one of them tries to fight etc, but gives up…use as vehicle to show how corrupt people are generally…\ end goodwill and twists confrontation with ferals DETECTIVE? maybe have Mt Druitt detective as vehicle for this…as he reveals to us the costs of society, while enjoying sex with teen girl prostitutes etc as perk…and comes into contact with EP while investigating break-ins to ‘battery hen sheds etc…and reads EP stuff as part of…looking for clues i.e suspect ‘weirdo’ … next idea : detective? becomes ‘hero’ by sheer accident i.e jacket gets caught while trying to run away, and so ends up standing in front of small child etc and appearing to shield her from some danger…car, gun? The car stops in time, or gun misfires or whatever so he appears hero, at no cost to self… next idea : seeing ugly, dumb etc with their ugly dumb etc kids…produced feeling of hopelessness re: reproduction of ugly dumb world…i.e people and the world they would make, reproduce, and the rest of the world that wasn’t stopping it,and wouldn’t i.e ugly and dumb next idea : character comes round corner and finds self in group of loudly obscenely swearing, aggressive, etc ferals…maintains composure, looking around expectantly to find a normal person, reassurance, i.e could share look of disapproval etc…but none..just loud obscene ferals and him/her…they recognised situation…he was the target of their venomous self-loathing…loudly obscenely joking with…civilisation had disappeared, he was in their territory, alone…overcome with panic at ugliness of situation, their world…he was stuck in …like reasonable person in prison with violent criminals…nothing to lose…resenting everything good in his life etc next idea : outside his flat, in courtyard, few meters from his door/windows…losers, talking

loudly, monotone, in distinct ugly monotone without rythym or melody …inane dumb fucking irritating-to have ugly stupid world invade his territory, in his face…it was bad enough that they had to exist, let alone have to intrude into his world…like world shouting how ugly and stupid it is…frustration…if had to live with would exterminate them all like the pests, the mistakes they are …no value in their lives bad enough, let alone to destroy value in his life…they make rest of world uglier and dummer, and will most likely reproduce, …just pointless ugly stupidness…they enjoy making others uncomfortable..polluting anything trying to be good etc next idea : Whiny, loud, monotone, impatient, agressive, no effort made in pronounciation or enunciation, irritable, etc speech of underpriveledged, neglected eg westies and SE london…reflects lack of anticipation of positive outcome, couldnt be bothered making effort to speak etc or be polite or feign positive, just hack out words with least effort and most volume next idea : The adolescents/childs/youths/adults voice sounded like a combination of child abuse, neglect, frustration, hoplessness, anger, dirt, oil, pointless screaming, desperation….and compare to another voice from a nice comfortable Middle class person i.e sounded like money, ease, comfort, confidence, welcome, clean sheets, quiet, future, hope ….etc i.e could hear their history in their voice i.e Mt Druitt railway freaks etc …. another …’like mice playing, running under furniture etc i.e detail to capture imagination, to fill out character fully…have one pissed off as people are looking at, apparently judgementally next idea : aggressive, feral, attention seeking losers…mount Druitt/ moonah next idea : Molle street bitch ruined nerves…i.e always nervous that fat inane cow will ‘accost’ with inane chatter … and confront with all that is wrong with world i.e tubes should be tied and put in another world … ugly fight, screaming like cats and dogs of humans they are i.e animals…smokes, fat , no modesty ie loud tasteless…just won’t take message that doesn’t belong in this world…either start being disciplined and self-aware or go away with rest of feral species … but sterilise so can’t inanely reproduce self i.e sub-species…spilt coffee twice in succession…driven to distraction by pathetic excuse for sub-human next idea : Sees feral, agressive, hard-looking kid racing down pedestrian mall on bike…’prick…hope he’ll smash into a pole or something…smartarse…selfish shit (re: loss of sympathy for such persons i.e fully aware his life has made him so, but resents his existence…and the larger existence of billions of such ‘feral’ humans: knowing they will constantly reproduce themselves stubbornly, and imposing themselves on others next idea : sees old friend/acquaintance-but uncomfortable i.e wants to walk on, maybe he was lucky and they hadn’t recognised or seen him? overwise would have to participate in a stilted, uncomfortable but unavoidable/expected exchange of indifferences and greetings and find some way to go on, possibly making some vague arrangements of future meetings neither had any intention or desire to realise…or one did, and oblivious to other’s discomfort i.e eg bitch landlady…and especially discomforting if you are a failure, and just wan’t to keep anonymous and not have to wear a mask, or reveal your discontent etc end confrontation with ferals subplot Assassin subplots next idea : Guy sent to kill / beat up protagonist falls behind him on the stairs. He is badly hurt. The planned victim helps him. So the assassin etc spends some time with him. He is just being practical. It will give him an opportunity to finish his job….but he warms to him…and even discovers the reason he has been hired for the hit…he comes to sympathise with him, and eventually decides to help him (reverse of ‘Stockholm syndrome’) character gets email with gift certificate for assassination i.e must simply enter name, last known address, identifying features etc to confirm target…! T.V producer character-sub-plot next idea : doco which follows person defined as ‘mentally ill’ who challenges psychiatry to ‘cure’ them..i.e totally transparent process…all records public…to challenge medical professions claims re: euthenasia of ‘treatable depression’ as ground for denying euthenasia…challenges for right to universal access to nembutal if they can’t ‘treat’ within the year i.e intensive treatment to see if their desire for thanatos i.e death i.e euthenasia dissappears with ‘treatment’ or if bullshit propaganda/marketing of medical industry re: ‘treatable’. And show if treatment worse than dis-ease…i.e mental illness as dis-ease and dis-stress Vs biological i.e if hear hooves think horses, not Zebras..i.e reveal ‘truth’ about what they consider ‘treatment’ i.e chemical straighjacket? i.e quality of life and ’self-determination’ left after ‘treated’ etc etc next idea : T.V show, with “worlds worst studio band”, who bitch and fight all the time, members storm off in temper etc bit of spinal tap, ….people ring in and request covers of songs…they are crap, but authentically bad and trying …or just acting….they become huge, as fans can really identify with, find cool etc they end up with own crap music next idea : t.v idea-show story-the viewers must call no. (revenue raising number, money goes to provider or station, maybe 50cents per call) to select next scene i.e headjob with gorgeous etc or less appealing alternative…but, show free to air, money from calls and ads…so put up fake stats i.e that lots have called for less appealing alternative, to motivate viewers to call in to get to see gorgeous etc next idea : One character produces t.v series using phone cells as focus of stories / series…ie girls and all types of people walk, drive, run, arrive at phone cell, all times of day and night, make all sorts of calls, funny, sexy, erotic i.e affairs, dirty phone calls, emotional, dramatic, silly…phone could be suburban and boring, or have scenic backdrop ie beach etc, … and can see speaker at other end, or not? , rendezvous, debt collectors, crank calls, to loved ones O.S (remember true story indian guy on phone to family, car ran over cell, and dragged down road killing him while still connected on phone i.e took time of death from call list… next idea : library book as ‘connector’ i.e writing technique i.e different people borrow and read – different bits, or don’t-their response-their living conditions, situation in life and impact, including male and female wanking over story, and ignorance i.e all bits of story connected by the characters coming into contact with that library book (sex in library toilets?)…etc…i.e like phone booth idea for short films i.e all action takes place in phone booth next idea : game show-if on t.v contestant can’t answer, or wrong, then a random number picked from phone book and called, and if they answer, are watching program, and know answer, they can win what the constestant is playing for, up to a million dollars…i.e so audience participating etc…or question could be regarding commercials that are shown during program…i.e sponsors.. next idea : TV show, live sex show, audience interaction, random or selected members of audience ticipate in sex acts with models or each other live on stage next idea : follow pimp as goes throught recruitment process…bordello in international waters…no tax or laws etc…they travel world finding most beautiful underpriveledged young women…owner really ethical, offers real opportunities, and driven by moral motives i.e to improve lives of employees and their families and politically etc whistleblower DOCO… plane maintenance supervisor kept insisting on complying with regulations and replacing jack screw with moved elevators i.e allowed plane attitude to be controlled i.e ALASKA airlines…a year before a jackscrew in an ALASKA air plane failed, resulting in the death of 88 people. The head (inspector) of the U.S Dept. of Transport openly stated in the T.V documentary that whenever potential whistleblowers call about reporting safety breaches etc, that she feels compelled to warn them that if they proceed with their whistleblowing, that they will never again work in their industry, or for the government. In this case it was cost-cutting / profit increasing measures i.e failing to replace parts according to the maintenance schedules i.e continually overriding the inspectors recommendation or direction to replace the jack screw. SONG: don’t burst my bubble, put out the light at the end of my tunnel, don’t bring me down to your level, don’t pretend to be a saint when you are working for the devil

 

For use in new novel

 

Sub-plot: we follow Soviet officials desperately searching through a German palace or monastery, after invading Eastern Germany…their desperation and excitement is clear…they are plain clothed, but ordering Red Army units around arrogantly, indicating their own power and seniority…status…it is clear when they find what they are looking for, and how important it is…as they leave the room with it another unit of guards steps into the doorways with the light behind them, and they begin firing automatic weapons into the large vault / room…killing everyone inside, anyone who also saw what the secret police etc men had recovered, thus leaving no trace of this episode…and this very secretive and powerful group then head off in a convoy … we see them arriving in the golden halls of the Kremlin, and it is clear this is Stalin’s own police…and he is jubilant and glowing with joy when he gets his ‘prize’… and maybe he has the men who deliver the package killed too? And the entire guard sent off to siberia? But one escapes to tell the tale… and we, the audience, are left wondering what the ‘prize’ is…link to Akhenaton, Moses, Hitler, Stalin…then this prize ends up in one of the deepest vaults of the Hermitage…and only a lowly maintenance man has any idea of its connection with Stalin…and thus its value…and it is he that tells his daughter, a beautiful girl who often plays among the Hermitage artifacts…who grow up to be a art historian come adventurer … and becomes involved in our plot…During her investigations, she comes across some old men who tell of some old gossip of a group of historians being sent to the gulag for no apparent reason, after having worked for Stalin on some project, and of entire groups of guards and administrators ‘disappearing’ in connection with the same secret…but most people just rejected as tales, and imagined there must have been some other more mundane political reason for the deportations etc…

 

The sort of abject depression a buddha mind would experience, with no masturbatory false hopes for life, might lead to a chemical reaction in the brain, setting off a chain of software changes which produce a change in the hardware i.e dormant capacities of the brain become active, producing all sorts of new capacities a-la ‘super-powers’…only after going through intense stages of honesty and acceptance of the truth and rejection of reality i.e cannot validate reality so reject it like Buddha, whilst seeking ‘solutions’….and this is sort of ‘Nietzschean super-man’ i.e these changes represent a new sort of human…even produces genetic transformations which appear in his sperm…and an automatic reversal of his past vasectomy…he regenerates tissue to become as virile and youthful as a teenager in all ways….and irrestistible to females, who unconsciously sense his transformations, and that THIS, HE is the future…and so they crave to be the recipticle of his semen…to be the vessel of the new race of humans…AND IT IS THIS THAT THE ARCHETYPE OF THE ‘HOLY GRAIL’ UNCONSCIOUSLY SOUGHT AFTER…THE ‘GRAIL’ IS A VESSEL THAT CARRIES THE LIFE-BLOOD OF THE NEW RACE…and only by going through so much ‘reality’ could it have been ‘activated’…our hero had welcomed death, in purely selfish terms…but had endured like Buddha out of a desire to serve others, to try to educate and enlighten, and thus ‘save’ others…many times he had felt a joy ‘Oh sweet chariot, comin’ forth to carry me home’ that death was close, but then he felt a sense of responsibility…and each time this sequence had triggered something in his brain and genes…dormancies were awoken, by the particular sets of hormones, and firing of neurons, associated with these feelings, and resolve, against his own selfish desires, to endure life longer, if only to complete his works…this conscientiousness and empathy for all living things…it had evolved over millenia, and only become strong in this individual due to the holistic inheritance it experienced…and it was the FIRST of its kind…the first activation…buddha’s had come close, but had never experienced this particular constellation… and he it was…

 

Character first employs new powers to make vegan lifestyle cheap and enjoyable…and laces all products with ‘immunity’ to new viruses he will release later…so that only vegans will survive…covert war against non-vegans…painless death results…

 

we need to really feel our values deeply, to know WHY we subscribe to them, to reinforce them when it is easy to, so that when times come when it is difficult, when we must make sacrifices for them, we can do so as muscle memory, with no hesitations or doubts i.e long term vision…but question, if it is no OUR PERSONAL eternity, is the vision motivating? i.e one thing that our great grandchildren will live in utopia…but better still if WE will BE those actual grandchildren!!! i.e reincarnation…eternal life…etc

 

A circle does not begin or end at any point…it only comes into being once your have completed it…before then it is just a line…a concept…in the imagination…

 

Is it possible to have awareness without desire? And without the displeasure of boredom?

 

It is hard to get over Bono’s lines in that ‘aid for africa’ song … ‘So tonite thank god its them, instead of you’…typical Irish catholic…thank god he is torturing others and not you…nice god that … no alternative seems to occur to Bono…just gratefulness that his god has chose to torture someone else and not HIM!…and for that he is grateful…and apparently we are all supposed to be grateful that his god choses other people to torture, rather than us in the west! Nice guy that bono, hey!!

 

Band names

 

resolve (as in …’resolve itself to a dew’ from Hamlets ‘To be or not to be’ )

 

Songs

 

i thought my sadness was a house, so I moved. I thought my sadness was a street, and so I walked away. I thought my sadness was a town, and so I left it. I thought my sadness was a city, and so I … I thought….was a country, and so I … I thought…was a continent, and so I flew away. But my misery is a planet, and there is only one way to leave it, behind!

 

What’s my motivation, I can’t remember my lines. They say you’re doing well, if you’re only screaming / lost / desperate HALF the time. But is that really good enough? It’s good enough for those who want us to believe it. They feed us just enough lies and myths, Just enough so that we won’t leave (final exits).

 

There is nothing here but…we have nothing to fear but…my patience wearing thin, I wear it on my sleave, it’s wearing through,…we live for dreams that will never be…we live for visions we will never see…thoughts have you and me…I never sold old cos no-one ever made me a good enough offer…you sell your souls so cheaply, a house, a car, and wifey… I could never find honest work for honest pay, and so I dream my time away…most things insightful are hurtful…raising doubts when you want to raise your spirits…so don’t ask me anything, even talk to me…While I wasn’t listening they…while I wasn’t watching they…while I wasn’t thinking they… What would you, if asked, tell of me? What would you sell of me? Pray tell me, what do you think of me, and DO you ever think of me?…Ever been on the brink like me? Ever began to like me, despite me? Ever known anyone LIKE me?

 

I need a new itch to scratch, a new bitch, some new snatch…

 

It’s easy for others to…., when others pay the price, I’m walking away from Omelas, Life’s not worth living if paid by other’s sacrifice.

 

It is true that stars can shine most brightly in the blackest of skies

 

Scientology ‘fair game’, Catholic and Islamic ‘papal bulls and fatwahs’. And Osho’s sect poisoning town water over some dispute! Shows nature of religion. Join us or we will kill you!

 

RE: synchronicity…no surprise that if one person become aware of some connection, pattern etc, that someone else in the world should also…

 

Human evolved greater intelligence as opposable thumbs gave intelligence a real outlet and value re: tools…in any other animal it would not have conferred such advantages, and negative selection would favor mere brute strength etc i.e no application for intelligence, therefore no real value, therefore no advantage therefore it would not be positively selected and accumulate over generations…

 

E=MCsquared means that matter is energy vibrating at the speed of light?

 

Develop Questionnaire re: ‘I love you’ with list of things e.g would you love me IF…

 

Intention of consumers is to enjoy consuming products of animal cruelty, not the cruelty itself…therefore more inconsiderate than evil…but means if another person rapes them without any intention of harming them, but merely to satisfy their own desires, they are no less evil…just inconsiderate…and as have tacitly agreed to opportunism, they are legitimate targets of other opportunists e.g rapists etc…unless they are vegan, which means they have withdrawn their consent for opportunism…having ‘walked away from Omelas’…but all those who remain ‘in Omelas’ have given their consent to opportunism by opportunistically exploiting their power over animals…like the rapist exploits his power over HIS victim…

 

we over-indulge till we experience discomfort, physical or ethical…but once our appetite returns we forget this and repeat the behaviors over and over

 

When we are stoned we have the definite ‘feeling’ that we understand the meaning of life etc, and can explain it simply…but when we are sober we cannot recollect this explanation…we can only recall that we were certain of having it…Sommerset Maughm’s character on Opium has a similar experience in that he is certain he COULD answer all the questions, but feels no compulsion to do so…preferring NOT to… which raises MY question re: life as experience engine…at such times the ‘veil’ is lifted, and perhaps we realise that WERE we to look behind it, the universe would dissolve FOR US…as it is, as in the Vedanta and my own SC, merely A GAME…

 

Evolution, THRU flesh, to virtual reality? i.e MY dialectic of material universe being ‘fake’ and digital being the ‘real’ universe i.e the universe is coming to know itself through digital technology…flesh world is the illusion and digital the reality…note that DNA is a form of digital technology, and it produces flesh life as we know it…and virtual worlds can be pure bliss, without the NEED for any pain…

 

Note the ‘resentiment’ of Christianity i.e the MEEK will inherit the earth, and the rich cannot get into heaven i.e revenge of the meek upon their betters…this is what Nietzsche despised about Christianity…note how the working classes took their ‘revenge’ upon their betters, as during the Pol Pot ‘killing fields’ …. Daoism also same resentiment…expressed as a defining of progress as going backwards i.e becoming simple, ignorant, poor !! i.e failure as success, inferiority as superiority…all reflexive of resentment, envy, jealousy of the lesser for their betters…

 

Why Peter the ‘Great’? He was ruthless, brutal, unscrupulous, and arbitrary, responsible for countless deaths. Why not then ‘Hitler the Great?’. Tzar Peter gave a soldier he liked some ‘oil’ concession’. He got rich as, and built a palace opposite the Kremlin. Fabulously wealthy. Like todays oil barons, who weasle some rights or concessions from corrupt bureacrats and politicians, and get to exploit what are naturally public resources for their private gain.

 

The famous ‘gambler’s argument’ is really a non-argument. It shows to what desperate measures god-ists much reach. They say that as you can’t be sure, it’d be better to bet on the safe side, and be a god-ist too. If you are right, you go to heaven. If you are wrong, well, all sorts of bad shit can happen to you, like hell. But when you consider this pseudo-argument you see it is really an ‘argument’ for ALL superstition…in fact it is not an ARGUMENT as such, it is actually THE BASIS OF ALL SUPERSTITION…presented as if it is some sort of rational, logical, reasonable position. The reason all superstitions have found followers is that you can never really be sure if what all those other people appear to believe, is actually true or not. So why take chances? Best just to sacrifice a few virgins, just to keep on the safe side!!!

 

Make the world a better place, give honesty, kindness and justice a place, in your heart

 

Yahweh tortures child to death for 7 days for ‘ sins’ of its father King David i.e he killed Uriah to take his wife as his own … King David killed 2/3 of all Moabites after he defeated them

 

All language reflexive of slave society…re-inforces / naturalises / normalises / internalises from earliest age all notions necessary for slaves to accept slavery…no alternative way to communicate without re-inforcing all slavery concepts and conditions…tribes, kingdoms, then states and nations all promoted own languages as means of control, limiting movements of serfs and flow of information, and kept secret languages of latin etc for church and state, so commoners could not participate in discourses politically or intellectually…had no idea what was going on…

 

last 6 months of life medical treatment in U.S costs between 25k and 50k

 

SS belt-buckle ‘ Gott mit uns’

 

Gorbachev commented that only 5% of the communist party were actively in favour of Glasnost…indicating what I noted re: politics…that only need marginal voters to change voting patterns as tends to be 50-50 and passive…gives hope for EP policies…so forget mainstream, and focus on minority of more enlightened etc

 

New lyrics for ‘has a song’

You and I, we love each other, more than words can say

But somehow we hurt each other, again and again and again

No matter how lost we became, we always found our way

Back to each other

No matter what distant parts our roads led us to

We always knew

Like all water flows back to its source

Our fates would take their course

And lead us back to each other’s arms

 

Mini credit failure, if expect can turn average person into enterprising businessperson…ridiculous to assume poor any different to average among us i.e most of us just want stable jobs…not capable of running own businesses…and so mini credit ‘failure’ in most instances…BUT offered chance to the small percentage able to benefit as capable of running businesses…provided THESE people with real opportunities…but for average person had no positive chance, and for many had negative impact i.e just added to their debts, and many lost everything as result…Evolutionary i.e provides most adapted with chance to thrive, at expense of least adapted i.e those with best holistic inheritances benefit at cost of worst inheritances…redistribution of resources like in bible i.e lease lose what have, those with get more…that is nature of evolution

 

All motivation reduces to individuals own personal pleasure…coincidence if that pleasure empathetic i.e if we gain pleasure from pleasure we give to others e.g romantic partners, own children, own pets etc…point is they are OUR OWN…OUR friends etc…all love conditional on this… unconditional love a misnomer, as it is always conditional on our affection / relationship / connection / empathy etc for the loved one.

 

People exclusively motivated by OWN pleasure and pain…any concessions to ‘other’s’ pleasure and pain is either forced upon them by ‘society’ or reflexive of their own pleasure and pain i.e they enjoy or suffer empathetically with the other’s experience of pleasure and pain…thus we suffer when OUR children suffer, and hence act to alleviate it, and find joy in bringing pleasure to the loved one…but do nothing about the pain of people we have no empathy for, and care little about any benefit they might get from our actions…people tend to do whatever they can get away with, and what they HAVE TO…just see how people behave when you give them absolute power and invulnerability from consequences e.g uni student survey, many men admitted would rape if they were sure of suffering no consequences…look at how kings, rich people etc behave…if doubt, then ask why we spend so much on policing etc…not just directed at minority…

 

meritocratic caste system? Could it function? Problem would be nepotism i.e people will not like to have their own children placed in another caste based on their genetic inheritances…

 

1 billion people go to bed hungry every night across world

 

Idea for reality game show…but each told secretly to cheat i.e they are told that the t.v shows marketing people have identified them in particular as appealing to the demographics their advertisers want to appeal to, and so they are going to be helped to win, so that viewers watch and advertisers get their audience, and show’s producers make their money… can use similar types of situations to see how far people will go re: unethical behaviour…even do one with ‘casting couch’ to see how many people will actually have sex with selectors / managers / recruiters etc to get attractive jobs i.e make up really attractive / appealing / interesting jobs i.e ‘dream’ jobs…then advertise them…then film…and of course anyone who does not want to be shown in show can be edited out, or paid but their faces digitally blurred etc…

 

If aliens live 1000s of years could have witnessed Akhenaton’s downfall, Moses leaving Egypt (with Priest’s at On principles as TRUE arch of covenant, show him being murdered by own people who reject these principles as Akhenaton’s people did i.e they want right to rape and murder etc ‘others’…and animals…and to make war etc…so most plot against Moses and his ethics…aliens may have lived among us as ‘entertainment’ or as non-interactive observes…and maybe some did intervene, and introduce Priests at On to principles in first place, and maybe gave secret technologies to Moses etc…some lived as Kings and despots, or benevolent dictators…many ended up being murdered…maybe Plato / socrates were aliens? Jesus? Maybe accounts for stories about him? Buddha? …

 

What will ‘TONE’ of book / film be? Light-hearted? Like ‘legally blonde’, keeping tone light, while bringing in serious issues now and then? Probably has greatest potential for appeal. So keep sexy, light-hearted, and be careful how integrate serious issues…maybe our two goof-off aliens become more serious as story develops, as witness horrors of earth…as their ‘carer’ becomes more relaxed and enjoys himself i.e anal at start… One major question is whether the impulses of the aliens have been eliminated by evolution / positive selection, or just repressed by their social structures … and whether they react to their new-found superiority over their new peers, the humans, by abandoning their ‘ethics’ and taking advantage of their superior looks, intelligence, technologies etc i.e rape, kill, steal etc…i.e question is whether we can seek to eliminate the impulses, or simply learn to manage and regulate human nature… will aliens express a nature that is repressed on their home planet, or do they have superior natures as well i.e no longer opportunistic, ruthless,… are their behaviors inherent, or a result of their culture…once costs removed, once limits to action no longer exist, will they express the same sort of behaviors we expect of humans when given absolute power? Have to decide beforehand what believe, as will be expressed in their characters i.e do some become despotic tyrants, raping, killing, amassing personal wealth and power? Or are they all ‘noble’ etc ??

 

Maybe one alien has harem of ‘assassins’…hot, super-sexy girls who do his bidding…and who also rape cute girls and men they fancy?

 

Question…if Alien’s home is such a Utopia, then why would they stay on earth? Maybe a few are more like humans than rest of their species? Is thanatos and the impulse to destruction etc more satisfying than utopian eros? Or have they become ‘trapped’ in human bodies, and slowly came to identify with, and to feel the impulses humans do, a-la ‘space opera’ of L-Ron Hubbard? i.e they have become human, rather than operating thetans…leads to opportunity for expression of archetype of ‘harry potter’ i.e readers can imagine that THEY are perhaps aliens that got trapped in human forms…potential for appeal to that archetype and its appeal !!!

 

Song: sometimes I get suspicious, is the uni-verse malicious? Playing nasty games with us?

 

‘Are you romantically / physically attracted to me?’

 

Universe as ‘will to pleasure’…each individual has will to own pleasure…must be expression of original principle…basic force driving evolution of life…basic nature of awareness…if we are honest and holistically informed, this conclusions seems potentially compelling…so each unit of life has concern for own pleasure…all ‘morality’ is ‘social’ i.e attempts at optimalising interactions between selfish units of awareness…after experience of ‘killing of totem leader’ scenario over and over i.e each wills to power, but each vulnerable once get power…and continual battles for power make life uncomfortable, unprofitable for most…especially those with best holistic inheritances i.e with something to lose…while for those with worst, offers chance to rape, ‘revenge’ themselves on their ‘betters’, to redistribute fortunes etc…but in long run no accumulation, trade, even agriculture possible with constant chaos of wars, violence etc. … must we totally dismiss notion that some power in universe operates to promote our interests intentionally? Re: our desire for paternalistic gods, angels, good-fairies, and even the notion that life is ‘playful’ i.e a game…for games are usually fun, rewarding, satisfying, pleasureable, and this ‘game’ on earth is only so for the beneficiary classes at best…and so of course can expect them to promote this idea a-la Hinduism, castes, Karma etc…

 

‘One day a bishop dressed in white will suffer greatly’…these were the deep and meaningful secret message that the girls from the ‘miracle of our lady fatima’ expressed to the pope…wow…and to think this ‘vision’ was ‘proven’ to be miraculous when one bishop suffered greatly (old men tend to sooner or later!) i.e assasination attempt on Pope John Paul II…shot 3 times…but ‘miraculously’ no bullets hit arteries or organs !!!

 

How can I be sure my message will come through, to a girl like you…

 

 

 

 

 

I think this is most up to date…add to WP etc EP pre-sequel notes

 

I’ve been too generous…can’t afford to be when the stupid ugly person is committing continual systematic acts of horror and is actively and willfully making your life harder/worse etc i.e malice towards your good will…you can afford to pander to fools who are commit acts of grievous bodily harm upon you…that is a luxury you can show only towards the harmless and good natured fool…The more I experience personally the more I realise I have no need to apologize for being right…I do not opportunistically exploit my superiority to consume more etc… there are no lies in my philosophy…no ‘creative accounting’ or ‘weasling’. Not like the absurd ‘scientific socialism’ which is hypocritical in modelling itself, with all its deceptive, mendacious dogma, its own saints and articles of faith, and its own en-slaving beneficiary classes…there is no way lies can produce ends that are justified by the means that have been, and continue to be employed… I pander to no-one and nothing…I am capable of accepting reality, T, … as I have lost the little good I inherited, I have no vested interest in any lies i.e no family, no children, no lover, no friends, … I am in fact quite keen, like any real philosopher a-la Socrates ‘master of life’ to leave this hell behind…even if only oblivion awaits me…and like Buddha, I would never return to a world such as this…life is, in the long run, merely hell with moments of reprieve, that may at most last one life time, but which lead to a million lives of hell, for each unit of awareness that allows its ‘ego'(?) to fool it into imagining it will always be born a slave master and never a slave.  Each imagines it won’t be joining the masses of unlucky any life…that it will always be a beneficiary of inequality and exploitation as slave master.

 

Math is math, built up from first principles and sound premises (all respect to Hume of course I am speaking heuristically!). You cannot escape reality. 1+1 = 2 . E = mc squared. But in the context of beliefs and opinions, people imagine they can invent their own maths to conveniently pervert arguments…a-la ‘reasonsing’…You cannot escape T, only learn to deal with it optimally…based on sound assumptions and compelling arguments…people imagine they can just make their own maths up, a let 1+1=8 , and then 8-1=4, as it suits their convenience, as it might support what they fatuously call an ‘argument’. A cockroach can have an opinion. What is of interest is who holistically informed it is. The right to hold an opinion doesn’t give you the right to have your opinion valued … it is the quality of the  process which lead to the opinion that determines if it is of any value, as laid out in my T.  You can read can’t you?  But can you think? Learn the math. Learn T. Or don’t dare to waste our time with your ‘opinions’. They are of no value if they are uninformed and poorly constructed, based on ignorant assumptions which are invalid, and which you are not even aware of having made…

 

Again Fucker tries to put me down…I explained about routing, he hasn’t a clue…but when I ask him to check the Mac, he goes on and on critcising me…based on what?  It is unfathomable. He has virtually no idea. Can only assign the inbuilt inputs and outputs in preferences. And he was complaining about how buggy it all was…but when he gets a chance to put me down, he goes for it…full malice…waste of time…of course it works now, but that is the point, the same setup, and sometimes it works, other times not…that is why I ask him to run some analysis programs to see. It is unbelievable how aggressive he is with attacking me and my ‘routing’…like ‘Limiter’ is no a limiter on the P.A. I can’t imagine trying to teach him now. Have undone all my settings on the projects I made for him to learn from…he made no effort…Fucker just ruins my mood totally…absolutely no justifyable context for it…he doesn’t have a clue…the others let me take stuff home without any problem…he didnt want me to, that is all…’we want nothing from you’…assehole…well you aint gonna get anything then kiddo!  When he has problems it is bugs, when I have problems it is ME…and my routing of all things…something his has fucking absolutely no idea about….lets see him set up the M-Audio just once and use it…about having the stuff around for months, maybe years!

 

Acts of violence and malice…absence of goodwill…no ethic…no drive to produce value, merely a desire to consume value that others have produced…

 

So what do you call it when people deliberately mislead you, with photos and descriptions?  Not an act of violence? Lies are no violence? They can hurt you financially. Is that not a form of violence? Failure to provide key information which they know would be of interest, and might sway your decision? Wasting your time and energy?  Demanding 20 people do the work they could have done once for all?  And they are earning lots of money for each sale?  But force 19 times the wasted energy and resources. Is waste not a form of violence, given what could be done with those wasted resources…the suffering that could be eliminated, the beauty produced…? Not violence? The frustration produced is not violence?  The dis-ease is not violence?  The anger and loss of faith and good will is not violence?  

 

The market cannot alone produce optimal outcomes when humans are consistently lazy, malicious, selfish, deceptive, opportunistic, unethical, violent etc…they are more likely to mob and destroy those with a higher ethical tone than to learn from them and model themselves upon them….Give me an example to the contrary and you will have your exception to the million rule that all social advance and  increase in ethical tone is due to the imposition of regulation on an unwilling majority by a more holistically enlightened and informed minority, often by way of ‘noble’ lies, socialisation, and deterrents and incentives.  

 

Observe the malicious smiles as people enjoy the frustration and displeasure/ discomfort they can produce in others…observe the drivers barely missing, if at all stopping, or even slowing, for pedestrians on pedestrian crossings…. 

 

so this post is calling for truth in marketing, transparency, to facilitate truly free markets, with regulation to counter human nature, and make us behave how we want everyone ELSE  to behave! As a compromise we will also comply, imagining we do so out of a higher nature, rather than due to a fear of the consequences of not complying. How much you masturbate is up to you. I don’t care why you do the right thing, and how much you delude yourselves about your own nature, and human nature, as long as you act optimally. What your real motives are are irrelevant, heuristically. I don’t expect to holistically enlighten many of you. I am happy enough that you act AS IF  you are holistically enlightened, and don’t ruin MY life, and cruelly torture all the creatures with less power than you have…

 

Maths succeeds, in terms of its usefullness, its applications, the provision of solutions to problems, as it is consistent, and built from first principles, no allowing any arbitrary changes…when you get stuck at a point you have to go back…you can’t just ‘weasle’ your way through by changing your definitions. And you can deconstruct any mathematical argument back into its more basic parts, and see if anyone has ‘cheated’ or made a ‘mistake’ anywhere during the construction process…and then you can have confidence in the solutions, and apply them, even if the math is imperfect in many ways…it is still the best approach we have…and that is T…the math of reasoning and compelling argument…and it provides the optimal solutions…

 

Imagine a system of mathematics in which the ‘opinion’ that a triangle has 7 sides must be respected! That is the world I live in when it comes to compelling arguments. Just as we educate and compel people to be consistent in mathematics, we can and must teach them to be as rigorous with their general thinking…only the problem is this is inconsistent with the slave society which is built upon the exact opposite of a rigorous intellectual education…it is built on triangles with 7 sides here, 9 sides there, and only coincidentally on occasion, actually with 3 sides. People must be compelled to observe the rules of compelling argument as outlined in my T. they must demonstrate their assumptions are valid, and we must reject any attempts to ‘spin’ the math. Any idiots math is not as good as any other’s. Some forms of math are superior. They prove their superiority in the solutions they provide. They are useful. Bad math is appealing to some, and convenient, but in the end it fails to provide optimal solutions. It fails us. It may serve some groups narrow purposes and interests, but it fails us a whole. 

 

If allowing everyone to have their own inconsistent maths was harmless, and just a question of personal comfort, then I would have no problem with it. But it produces untold misery. I would pander to their masturbation if it were harmless, and just a question of their personal satisfaction. But I end up paying for it, so it imposes costs on me, and everyone else, even the liar themselves. 

 

It is not just a question of taste…poor taste can be tolerated if they keep it to their own homes…but if they are spending my money on it, and forcing me to consume it?  That is a different story. That is intolerable. And when it produces misery for billions over millenia, you cannot expect me to not become outraged at it. So, you fuckers, stop your violence. Don’t expect me to empathise with your problems when your ego and selfishness is the problem, and you actively act with malice towards me, and the truth. I don’t mean Truth…I mean honesty. I mean integrity. I mean ‘do the math’ and don’t ‘fiddle the books’. 

 

Human nature reveals its true monstrousness in its interactions and relations with others with no power, or which are weaker. This is where you have to look for a definition of human nature. Look at how we act towards the weakest of co-inhabitants of this planet, the animals…we torture them just to produce completely unnecessary products…we force them to endure living hells, systematically, just to satisfy our ‘tastes’. We are vicious, nasty, ruthless. We are pure evil. We are selfish opportunists who masturbate imagining they are ‘in the image of god’. We are so violent and self-deceptive. I will not apologise for stating the obvious facts. We are monsters. Any species with the power to do so, one which had a higher moral tone, would either force us to behave, or exterminate us. If human nature bore any resemblance to nobility we would live in a totally different world…a vegan one, one which had abolished all forms of slavery and the reflexive definitions and systems of relations associated with slavery…we would be free to euthanize ourselves…we would only reproduce that which is worthy of reproduction, and stop forcing sub-optimal holistic inheritances upon our children etc

 

don’t dare get angry with ME for speaking the truth, Fucker!! And any of you who are interested in abolishing slavery, and all forms of violence, in making the world one worth reproducing…read my T books and join me, or join Buddha and renounce the world … and save yourself from suffering it eternally…I teach how to optimise reality, Buddha teaches how to escape it…All previous attempts at building some sort of utopia failed because the people were not honest or holistically enlightened…they lacked a genuine motive to abolish slavery…they merely sought a new order in which they could be the beneficiaries of it…  

 

If you don’t believe in a math-like way of constructing compelling arguments read my T books. And if you think you can ‘beat the odds’, well, fool, do the math…you might be a beneficiary this life, but for the next few million you are going to pay for your little time in the heavenly niches on earth…

 

It is not a question of free will or justice…it is about doing the math…Do the math. And if you are not willing to, then leave the running of this world to people who ARE willing and capable of doing the math!  

 

According to your own illusions of free will, you deserve the worst you might suffer on this earth, for the suffering you inflict on others, especially the least powerful, animals. You are response-able for the cruelty animals suffer. You are an evil monster. If there was free will and any justice, then next life you would be enduring the lives you inflict on them. And who knows. Do the math. What are the odds of being born human on this planet?  Let alone a member of the beneficiary classes? 

 

Remember each act of violence you commit, everytime you waste someones time, every time you don’t treat them with respect and honesty, every time you treat them differently to how you want you and yours to be treated … 

 

You have every opportunity to educate yourselves. I have done the hardest work, and others before me. You only have to take some time to read a few books. If you force yourself to be honest, it will be easy. If you insist on living in denial, then do so, but don’t imagine your own maths is of any value. Keep out of social life. Live in your own little world. But get sterilised so you don’t enforce your world on others. 

 

And don’t expect empathy or sympathy from me when its your turn to be the victim of the violence you perpetuate. To think I devote myself to trying to help you, when you are the most ruthless and horrific of monsters…deliberately…willfully……sure destroy me…but guess who gets to inherit the world you produce?  YOU. So laugh it up, Fucker…and according to your own ‘math’ you deserve the worst of anything you are going to suffer…so there is my justice…

 

but of course I realise your actions are determined, as you will is determined, and so my aim is to save you from yourself…despite your acts of violence against me, and the fact that you have already destroyed me a million times, and enjoyed doing so!  I only judge your actions, not you. I may of course hate you fuckers, but I don’t judge you. The fuckers you are are the fuckers you inherited being. 

 

Yes, I know your ego imagines that ‘the math’ does not apply to you. You are going to get over that before you have any chance of escaping the reality you are a victim of. You didn’t get to chose to be monsters. My task is pretty hopeless. But as I have a definite plan, and clear, honest principles of action, it IS possible. It will have to be imposed upon you, but once it has been, you will pretend you are complying because you know it is right…and not because you were forced to…and you will imagine that your behaviour is the natural consequence of your noble natures… oh you fuckers, gotta laugh, but I will allow you your masturbation, as long as your actions are superior. 

 

And if you manage to destroy me and my kind, then enjoy what you have while you have it, cos boy you are going to pay for it, over and over, in countless lives of misery

 

And I cannot bear to watch this slow-motion train wreck, with all its completely forseeable carnage and misery, knowing and feeling with the victims, empathising with their pain…and so I will round off my writing with this blogg, and a new novel, and then dissappear, and avoid any interaction with people that will allow them to inflict even more violence upon me. 

 

 

 

Remember experience with plant in paderborn i.e it learned to fly…gartenzwerg and…..  and the story line … when open door after secretive weeks, blinded by light, as David has become a ‘reverse vampire’ i.e cannot stand the dark…

 

INTRO: This is a true story. It will/has/is happening…if you can follow me…I’ve lived it once already, and it has been lived an untold number of times…what is unusual is that I  somehow, by pure random chance, am, well, ME again, the old me…as occasionally happens I am told…which is what that ‘Deja Vous’ is all about…so I am writing this from memory…and it is, I am told, holistically accurate, or will be, or was…WHENever you happen to be reading this…relatively speaking…Ah Nietzshe’s Holy man Zarathustra and his Gnome gateway and all that…what a genius…What, sorry, right, so, back to the story, which is what you came here about right?  O.K. Anyway, in a few years you will be feeling Deja Vous, those of you who read this anyway, the rest will be astounded…you will be prepared…its up to you…but I can say that this is/was/will be a true story. Only a few of the details have been improvised…I can’t remember EVERYTHING, but all the important bits are 100% true and accurate…they did/will/are happening. I have gone to great lengths to reconstruct the important bits as closely as I can. Other bits are logical deductions and built up from more loose recollections, feelings, associations, and improvisations. But it is a true story. Or it will be. I mean it did happen, will happen, is happening. Yeh yeh yeh I know, sounds a  bit strange…but you will see…you will..now you can take my word for it and read it now, or be among the billions who will be caught completely unprepared. It will mean nothing to you, but I got level 12 clearance for this transcript, which means it is verified and vetted and authorised to be presented as level 12 fact. That is about as close to ‘truth’ as anyone is ever going to get. Impressed me. That they valued my work so highly. Anyway, means little to you I guess, but you got to let me brag a little now and then. It is so rare and I have waited so long for any recognition…Oh, anyway, so…I guess it is  time to begin this story… those of you who are ready to comprehend it, I mean already have, will, do, WILL, and the rest of you, well…so lets begin, shall we?

 

 

So, ‘You’ve WHAT?’  We’re WHAT?  For 300 years already? X was trying to comprehend the implications of what had just been revealed to him. ‘It seemed like the best thing to do at the time.. 

 

‘You mean earth is REAL’ … 

 

you’re having me on…you can’t mean it…It wasn’t virtual?  You didn’t buy it on the black? WTF?  HOW?  I mean, I was impressed…it was so life-like, but you know I don’t know much about the tech side, I am more the marketing type…so you are telling me the Earth actually exists. And the Authorities have just found out?  And they are terrified of looking incompetent. They want it to be dealt with ‘on the sly’?  They don’t want it to get out that this horror-planet has avoided their ethics clean-ups for thousands of years?  

 

 

One character…I was chosen?  By whom?  Why ME? How?  My book was actually READ? By whom? Well that makes this interesting. You say Smarganov wants to see me?  ME.  SMARGONOV?  

 

Our two alien characters are very sympathetic…for their species they are relatively dumb, lazy, layabout, good for nothing, to a degree, entertainment industry types…sort of scammers…loveable rogues…for our standards they are brilliant geniuses, and physically perfect…but within their own society they are almost sub-standard…and always on the look-out for a deal or scam…sort of ‘fools and horses’ charm…making them appealing to reader…

 

What?  You’re kidding. We’re toast. The council are onto us? How did they find out. No, spare me the details, get all our diamonds and ‘readies’ together, we’re out of here, if we move fast we can still  get a jump on ’em…. No, wait, slow down, let me finish. I’ve already cut us a deal. And wait for it, you are not going to believe your little ears…they want US to go down to earth as a pre-intervention research party..US, can you believe it…they assume we must know more about Earth than anyone, as we have been exploiting it for so long in our business…And we’ve been sent a squad of elite storm troops for protection…for protection…they’re going to PROTECT us, US…can you believe it… I’ve just met with the commander…a nice enough chap…he was  bit puzzled as to why WE were chosen, but orders is orders, right…. Right…stands up saluting…so what are our battle orders? … an easy grin on his face… he couldn’t believe his luck…he had ‘drifted’ into this scam of all scams…wait till the boys heard about it…and his parents would be so proud… Hey, do we get some sort of rank or, you know… ‘Wait for it, just you wait till you hear what I wrangled out of em…they were so keen to get this thing off their shoulders, those lazy bureacrats, and to avoid any public inquiry, and all the outrage and tribunals, that they have engaged us as Status 5 embassaries… you believe it?  US?  Sort of James Bond meets Ambassador meets … You What?  We WHAT?  Matey, how on earth did you pull that off, he dances a Jig around and grabs his arm, swirling him around… We are SET… don’t you know it my lad… and the just HAS to be ‘OPPORTUNITIES’  for a bit of ‘ Na Levo’ !!!  if those bureacrats at the council are so keen to wash their hands of it all, they are not going to care HOW we handle this are they…they are not going to WANT to know…so they can pretend they DIDN’T KNOW !!  But wait a sec, we’d better be careful, you know we are the only ones who know, and they might not be keen keeping us around…so we’d better get some leverage…tell you what, we are going to film the whole thing, beam it back to our labs, so they can’t just ‘ERASE’  US when it suits them.  And somehow we have to get this commander on our side. What’s he like?  Despises us hey? But he aint sure is he?  He is in two minds. On the one had he has no respect for the likes of us. On the other hand we are now Status 5. We are luminaries in his night sky. And he’s got to be wondering why, what, how, ???  I bet he thinks we are acting parts. So let him think it is all part of our ‘persona’, our training, our ‘ in situ’…he will buy that…he will imagine we aren’t fools at all, but brilliant actors…and that should keep him off our backs…anytime he appears ready to question us, we will look real serious-like and sombre…’ That’s above your security clearance’ sort of looks you know…and he will leave us alone

 

And so the group head off to Earth. The storm troops, especially the commander, look a little uneasy in their ‘camouflage’. They have to blend in, and not draw attention to themselves. The commander in particular looks quite ill-at-ease in his get up. Of course it was all selected by our two clowns, and they had a real laugh…putting the commander in a …. (gay leather look?  Tight bicycle pants? And his men mostly in jeans and t-shirts, with trainers. 

 

The commander indeed despises them at one level, but also is interested…as his life has been quite boring, and these types seem to have fun…so on one hand he hates them for all they stand for, and on another he admires them, and wants to be like them, but he would never admit that to anyone, probably not even himself. 

 

On earth they appear as extremely attractive, well-built, brilliant individuals. They assume the same identity more or less as they had, as entertainment industry executives…only here they are at the top of their game, their sub-standard level home is peak level here. And the security team fit in perfectly as their personal assistants, crew, and security. Even the commander loosens up and has some fun, especially when they begin making porn and action films. They can draw on millenia of their own home films, and so they are an immediate hit. They make relatively cheap reproductions of the biggest hits of their entire history, and enjoy success and status beyond their dreams.  

 

All the while making running commentaries on the ‘slave society’ and its mostrous cruelties… and when it comes down to helping Dr Blick, these guys average intelligence and competence back home translates into brilliance and massive advances here…and so while they had never studied nano-technology etc…they had enough experience of consumer gadgets back home to soon sort out the gear that Dr Blick’s team would be introduced to…unobtrusively…

 

They meet up with opportunists from their home world…but these are shy and realise the risk of being uncovered, and so they avoid contact, are nervous etc…and make no troubles…even scaling back a bit to avoid being too obvious…most work in the entertainment and military-security industries, enjoying massive success, wealth, sex, fun etc as more or less princes…with their massive superiority over most humans…

 

our char’s are mostly astonished at the cruelty and ugliness of earthlings, but occasionally impressed too…with some music, art, and a few individuals they come to hear about, read, and then assist…i.e Kim Jestem and the EP’s .  

 

 

So…the plan…present EP’s as fait accompli on another planet…a-la L.Ron’s religion…state a-la ‘Dan Brown’ that everything is/was/will be true…that this is/was/will be a true story…And it is about to become ‘real-time’ i.e the past-future reference point is the near future…in fact any day now…and the prequel parts are happening as we speak, or are just about to happen!  i.e tenets of religion, belief that this has already happened-will happen…our religion’s ‘mystery’ a-la  L-Ron is science fiction styled…

 

who told them such rubbish?  Plato? Paul? Lao Tzu? And they BELIEVED  them?  How could they be so…STUPID… yeh yeh, I know, we’ve been here a few weeks, but still, it is so hard to believe how ignorant and stupid humans are…the things they let themselves be fooled into believing…or the absolute degenerate character of the species to WANT  such things to be true…the folks back home aren’t going to believe all this…sure glad it isn’t a movie script…no-one would ever accept it as credible…even as a movie script…a horror scenario…a terrible dream… 

 

scene where our two guys are totally enraged at the animal cruelty…find it impossible to control selves…lose all interest in ‘reforming’ these people…why bother with HUMANE  solutions…these people deserve to be exterminated…they are monsters…Yes yes, of course, determinism…we are no better morally, just luckier to be more ethical by nature and socialisation…. but we cannot allow it to go on…. and so quickly implement , through the agency of Dr Blick’s research team, the nano-bots, to ensure this will be the last generation of monsters!

 

They’re all so, well 99% of them, so UGLY, SO STUPID, SO CRUEL, SO IGNORANT, SO STUBBORNLY WRONG, SO …SO…  how on earth could they not see themselves in the mirror and be appalled?  It just proved how random evolution was…no ethics…no empathy for the suffering of the sentience it spawned…and most absurd then was these creatures belief in a loving and all-powerful god…how could they miss the obvious contradictions?? … how could they reproduce such poor experience engines?  Come on, even the ancients knew about re-incarnation, more or less…. REALLY?  They twisted it that way? Karma? Free will?  You deserved to suffer? It was good for you?  How could they fall for such rubbish?  

 

That guy, all those people, why don’t they just go to an E bar and escape this misery for a new life? Puzzled. Unfathomable to him. Can’t grasp it at all. Just so ALIEN  to him. A physical response to the idea.  REALLY?  You don’t seem to have studied your notes X…Y…well if I had known they would be so fascinating and unbelievable I would have… 

 

go on then, fill me in…what else did I miss…X goes on about the sociological studies re: slavery society…all its reflexive sets of definitions and systems of relations…by the end Y is in awe…has to sit down to let it all sink in… and finally ‘And we are supposed to SAVE  this species?  Why on earth would we WANT  to ? Surely extinction would be kinder?  And Y tells him about the few humans who somehow have escaped it all, and began working towards a society like their own, with eugenics, equality, sexual liberty etc…all of which described his own home planet…’I see then, so how do we help these guys?  Where do we go to find them?  A film guy?  Excellent. Kim Jestem…a/ha, I see, ‘Eden protocolists?’  colonies?  Secret?  A research team working on fertility management?  I see, NOW  I get it…so where do we begin?  

 

In fact Y had tried to produce a sci-fi ‘dystopia’ with a similar theme, but the marketing people rejected it after market research found no-one could take the starting point as feasible…it was just too horrific…in fact the screenplay had been submitted by an alien who had ‘inhabited’ many humans over their short life-spans…!! he thought he had a blockbuster horror movie script on his hands, but the people back home found it just TOO  unbelievable…the basic premise was so alien, and the species so cruel and ugly and stupid…and yet they had managed to survive evolution?  HOW?  

 

Several aliens were involved in the porn industry…had returned with their bodies once they realised what they were experiencing was NOT  merely virtual reality!  They experienced the best of this world as the most beautiful, intelligent, talented etc…in fact too perfect that they had to pretend to be much dumber etc than they were, so as not to attract any suspicion. And they were always suspicious whether some of their colleagues were aliens too…but they didn’t want to give the game away…when they were sure, and that alien appeared to be about to go too far, they formed a syndicate with rules and controls to prevent such renegades … but several were already in positions of great power…usually in secret government organisations the elected officials, let alone general public, were completely ignorant of…

 

Y was listening to the movie writer…’ And so reality is digital, and the analog world is the world of illusion or Maya, which is so ironic given that we talk of ‘virtual reality’ in relation to digital … the digital realm of software is the universe knowing itself, in a universal dialectic…’  And to think this was a human!  Well well well. This species had something to say for itself after all. And Y began warming to the idea of saving some of them. And when he first visited one of the colonies, met Dr Blick, and other early E.P’s, he warmed even more to the prospect of helping this tiny group to victory against all the odds. 

 

Scene set on Maroubra beach…dog and seagull trying to get food, almost as if had planned it…cheeky bird goes for the fries, distracting the girl from the dog, which jumps up and grabbed her hamburger in its mouth and runs off, the bird following…do they share the meal afterwards?   True story!  And include ‘Minyon falls’ in Byron Bay!

 

The commander leading this task force into the EP headquarters had once worked for the C.I.A, but found the regulations hindered him from achieving his mission. He was committed to serving the interests of the U.S. He had ‘faith’ in the U.S like a real Catholic in the Pope. It was so simple. An article of faith. It made his life so simple. He never questioned the U.S. That would risk losing the beautiful simplicity of his life and credo. He liked certainty. He could not deal with uncertainty. He demanded it of life. His dogma was his orders. His orders were usually simple. Kill so and so. Blow up such and such. He was well rewarded. His job was exciting. He got to totally express his destructive impulses. And so he was at ease. He felt no contradictions. No repressions. No neuroses. His articles of faith gave him certainty and direction. The U.S government was right. The U.S was the best. The U.S was under threat. Anyone who threatened the U.S threatened the ‘Republic’, like Plato’s, it was, according to Q, ‘based upon the model of heaven’, more or less, though he would never have used such terms. ‘How else COULD  you live’?  Q could not imagine living any other way. He despised those who thought differently to himself. He had no time for them. He had no time for thinking at all. He did his job as precisely as he could, then he spent the rest of his time chasing after women, on his cars, and at his ranch. His father had been killed off the coast of Israel, and had been highly decorated. Had Q known that he had been killed by the U.S navy, as part of operation Synaide, meant to give the U.S an excuse to enter into the war on the side of Israel (after his father’s ship had intercepted secret Israeli radio communcations about a massaacre they had just committed), claiming the Egyptian navy had attacked a U.S ship and killed all on board, he would have accepted it as a risk of war…his father had done his duty…in this case his duty had been to die at the hands of other U.S military personnel, in an action that would ultimately serve the interests of the U.S… He would have found the response of others, who lost all faith in their missions, after finding out this truth, completely incomprehensible and  unpatriotic. He would have despised them. Like all the Platonists, Paulists, and Papists before him, he would have simply taken it Stoically, taking for granted that it was all for the best…that it had served a purpose perhaps not clear at the moment, but which would one day justify the means…it had been necessary…and so his father’s death would be seen as ultimately ‘good’ and ‘justified’, as being necessary, and serving the greater good. As such he would still have seen it as an honorable death. He would not think about it in any other terms. He would not hesitate to give such orders, or to die due to other’s giving such orders!  He followed orders. He would never question the hand that fed. It was an article of faith that they could do no wrong. If it APPEARED  they had done wrong, then that was just the appearance…if people died in protecting the U.S, then that was a noble death for them, as they were dieing in the service of a noble idea…but it was not a romantic idea…he was no Lancelot fighting for some romantic notion… no… it was just practical… as his dad had always said…’Keep it simple, and life is easy’… ‘why die a thousand deaths worrying about death’? Why question things when no-one has ever found the answer?   You just get your ass kicked.  Go along and get along, was his motto. Do your job, keep your head down, and when you clock off do so knowing you have done your job well…and don’t waste a moment thinking about it…when you get home, relax, enjoy yourself…enjoy all the benefits this great land has to offer….and of course he had the same attitude about women…lie to them…tell them what they want to hear, otherwise neither of you gets laid…it is just a fact of life…they insist you lie, so lie, and you will both get what you want…but never believe the lies yourself…love is temporary, so don’t act like it is permanent…don’t get too involved…always keep a few girls on the trot, and you will never get desperate and construct romantic drivel from the reality…never idealise girls… they are just like you…out to  get what THEY  want… sadly it is often not the same thing…but don’t suffer yourself because of how the world is…it is not your fault…never marry, but let them imagine you will marry them… 

 

Commander Q never thought of his targets as people…they were targets…he hit the targets…he would not hesitate to complete his mission, to carry out his orders…he had killed small children with the same coolness that he now fully intended killing everyone in the EP facility… and yet…when he went to pull the trigger, his finger would not carry out the action…he completely intended to pull the trigger and could not comprehend how his ‘will was not done’.  Normally this was part of the satisfaction ‘his will be done’…it thrilled him, the sense of power…few people ever got to feel this complete calm of acting upon their wills, their impulses to aggressive destruction…they repressed it and directed it towards bitching, mobbing, ruining reputations, and so on…even to dressing sexy, knowing all the desire they were generating ,and feeling malicious delight at the ‘suffering’ this produced…with no intention of relieving the lust they had deliberately incited… in fact Q  was host to an Alien Thetan… for this alien Q was the ultimate ‘forbidden fruit’. He enjoyed the hours he got to experience being Q. Q was in fact on the hottest ‘virtual experiences’ on offer on the black market.  He was a killing machine without any conscience. In fact he felt that killing was the highest purpose he could achieve, and so for him it was part of his secular religion. I shocked the aliens as obscene, and yet it somehow appealed to them. They were horrified by their own responses, and fascinated to learn that millenia of eugenics had failed to wipe out these vestiges in their natures of something violent, dark, and malicious. They were sort of addicted to it. They felt pangs of conscience…but, after all, they were only ‘passengers’, right?  And fe could actually bring themselves to believe, even years after the realisation had hit them, that this experience was NOT  virtual at all…it was in fact real…this planet earth was REAL.  

 

 

This is in fact how the authorities had become informed about this degenerate planet. Most of the aliens were so sickened and appalled once they realised what they were experiencing was actually happening, that they stopped using the services. A few were so conscience stricken that they risked embarrassment by informing the authorities about the service, and what they had experienced. And so the authorities had finally ‘busted’ X and Y, who were sacrificed by the corporation as scapegoats…and this is how they had been offered pardons if they would assist the authorities, who assumed X and Y must be the most informed about the earth.  In fact they were just the patsies. They had taken the fall, unwittingly. And they were just as surprised by what they discovered as the authorities were. But they never let on, not wanting to miss this opportunity … 

 

When sociologists introduced the earth to their students, and the reflexive definitions and systems of relations of the slave society, most students found it impossible to grasp, even theoretically…but once the entire system was broken down step by step, they comprehended how it all could have come about, and how, once born and raised inside this system, it would be virtually impossible to see it with the eyes of one who had not been so cursed.  Some of the students formed a secret society, determined to put an end to the horrors on earth…and they had been active for years before the authorities had sent anyone??? possible alternative scenario. And so the first alien presence was entertainment industry clients and young sociology and ethics university students

 

 

 

Bit for theatre of the absurd:  have some near miss accident, which shocks them temporarily, and absurdly, into relief that they were still alive…until after a bit they lose this ‘euphoria’ and get back to being depressed and suicidal…as such near-death experiences do in real life…i.e genuine threat of real risk to life brings out that reflex will to live and survive…the affirmation reflex….then return to pointlessness of life, listlessness…..  when they are watching themselves on the screen they offer hopefully, the illusion that they might have had a better life if only…i.e notion of false hope…which motivates to endure…but each time the other dismisses…e.g if only I had married her, I might have been happy?  And other reminds him … you only would have divorced and left miserable children etc… but what if I had worked harder on that book and been successful?…sure, but success doesn’t buy you happiness…just more comfort to be miserable and neurotic in… but if I had gotten really rich?  You only would have wanted more…you know, habituation…etc…until they have to admit it all would have made no difference…but they would have reproduced more misery if they had had kids….

 

 

A cat’s whiskers tell it if it will be able to fit through a tight space…most people had the same sort of sense about Kim Jestem’s arguments…they sensed they were compelling and air-tight, no matter how much they hoped they were not…no, they sensed immediately that they were out of their depth…so them automatically hated him, and sought out means to undermine him, to hurt him, to destroy him…feeling that once he was destroyed, there would be no-one around to remind them of his message, and so it too would be defeated…it was purely emotional, malice driven…pure hatred for their betters, and worse, their ‘ethical betters’ who proved that their excuses that it was ‘impossible’ were in fact convenient self deceptions…but if it was social reality, if everyone said the same lies, and no Kim Jestem’s were around to contradict them, then for all essential purposes the lies became truth…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

they PAY for sex?  Why?  Oh, right, most are so ugly…sorry, just can’t quite get my head around that…so many things here are just SO absurdly strange…like a bad joke…like the audience are supposed to see it all as farce or parody or analogy for something else…but they just can’t work out what…like it could not possibly be taken at literal face value…unless that is the point…??? but WHAT point??? 

 

people ACCEPT  that?  Surely they would all commit ‘revolutionary suicide’…yes yes I know, the ‘religion’, the ‘deceptions’, the fear of hell for suicide…and promise of heaven for endurance…but its just so damn hard to believe they would fall for that…didn’t that guy Akhenaton sort out religion…yeh yeh, that’s right, they murdered him, destroyed his new city etc etc…Jesus, yep, you’d think he would have known better,  what? Sure, I don’t mean literally one Jesus fellow, I mean all those prophet-guys who got anhilated by the people they were trying to enlighten…simply for daring to suggest they NEEDED  enlightening…simply by showing them it was POSSIBLE  to live ethically…

 

 

The EP secret…intimated, alluded to, and referred to in first book…was the capacity which evolved and developed from the ´dream-scape producers´ to first enter into their own unconscious, and treat it like some sort of computer system, actually accessing and over-riding algorithmic processes and so on, basically the programming of the unconscious, which up until now the consciousness was merely the more or less passive ´perceiver´ of i.e consciousness as mere sense organ of the processes and outcomes of the unconscious…tricked into feeling it was in deliberate control as it deliberated over words and symbols to express the outputs and some reasoning processes i.e calculations of the unconscious… and experiencing the the illusion of free will as a result…So that now some rare few EP elites developed the power to actually over-ride the unconscious…and thus actually experienced some degree of authentically FREE will. And they then realised L Ron Hubbardú science fiction fantasy of ´Operating Thetans´. It was EP theory that organisms were experience engines which we inhabited as more or less passive passengers, but these highest level EP dream producers had actually found the physical means to detach from their own bodies, leaving them to the unconscious, which didn´t require any passengers as such, being completely in charge all the time, and entering the experience engines of other people as additional passengers…remember an unlimited number of people can watch the same film, listen to the same song, or inhabit the same experience engine, and experience it as passengers,… and enter any other persons experience engine, experience the same things they do…but in this case these people could actually enter into the unconscious of anyone, and engage, with some degree of FREE will, with it…adjusting its algorithms, impulses, and computations, and essentially determining, to some degree, within limited ranges of action, the WILL of the person…and so they could prevent a person acting on their ´will´, and even replace their ´will´with their own…hence secret service officers couldn´t pull the triggers of their weapons no matter how much they felt the will to do so, no matter how hard they consciously tried to… Of course at any other time, at any other level of evolution, the possessors of such powers would have employed them opportunistically to satisfy their own wills, to acquire personal power, wealth, status, sex and so on… and remember EP philosophy had speculated that evolution provided particular powers only when other powers had grown sufficiently to make them an asset rather than a liability re: moral and ethical evolution before technical evolution…though this was disregarded as crypto-creationist-teleological-functionalism per se…it was still a positive and interesting co-incidence…or was it..of course EP were open-minded, true seekers (a-la skeptics) … and the thing is, they could even work directly in the unconscious of a person, so that, like any other will they experienced, deriving as it does at this source, the unconscous, the person would experience this ´hacked´will as no different from how they normally experienced their ´will´ per se, which of course most people experience as the ´free´will of their conscious mind…though the conscious mind is merely, as Hume and Freud and many others demonstrated in their compelling arguments, merely the passive sense organs of the will which emerges from the unconscious…no more or less active than any other sensual perception organ… 

 

One group fakes an alien landing around time they had set up over the years as appropriate i.e the end of 2012, as predicted by the ancient mayan calanders…an encounter with beings from the stars who would usher in a new age of peace, harmony, reason etc… chance to explain whole concept of ´transferred authority´and how has been used by shaman, priests, and prophets since ancient times i.e claim to be speaking for a god, an angel, to possess a special relationship with the dead ancestors or spirits, etc and the most recent one the ´cosmic conspiracy´ to pretend to be aliens from an advanced culture with more advanced ethics etc i.e authority transfer for the arguments etc of some group from this source…this superior culture etc…their technology was superior and so must be their beliefs etc…and so this group has been actively promoting acceptance and expectation of the idea of an alien encounter, and a new age based on the teachings they bring, which are of course those of the group…i.e they will be placed in the mouths of apparent aliens, as priests have placed their dogmas in the mouths of gods and angels … thus gaining a transferred authority for themselves and their own teachings…Mohamed claimed to have been reciting the words of the angel gabriel, the mormons founder had found golden tablets with gods new revelations, paul had jesus proclaim himself the son of god, … and so a conspiracy had emerged with hollywood films, television documentaries, etc all to build up to a planned fake alien encounter…and this group had its own plans i.e just another group of opportunistis and deluded dogmatics arrogant enough to believe their dogma was superior, or selfish enough to sacrifice everyone elses interests to their own objective of becoming the latest group of priveleged, powerful, wealthy, etc priests…they followed a typical Daoist-Platonic notion of keeping the masses ignorant for their own good, while justifying their own priveleges, especially access to all the prettiest young girls as their exclusive sex objects etc, … but EPs made sure their plot and planned deceptions were revealed in due course, a-la Wiki-leaks etc 

A cat escapes an EP facility, floats up onto a beach, and is welcomed as an inspirational hero…allowing all to hope that things may have changed etc… it becomes an international superstar, and animal rights army commandos pre-emptively kidnap it and take it into their care for fear that goverment might try to dissect it for research purposes, to find out why it exists at all etc…and in very secretive moves, the EP ultimately tracks them down and recovers the cat before such things can actually happen etc 

Soy prices immediately fell after last cattle died…as over 90% of all soya beans had been consumed by cattle farmers to feed their beef cattle…and most ´grazing´land became virtually worthless overnight, in market terms, as there was no viable economic employment for it…and thus many small farmers gained access to very cheap land, which they improved with great effort to make it viable for vegetable farming and so on.Thus soy products, the new ´meat and milk´substitutes, became even cheaper for consumers, and agricultural diversification improved massively. 

Akhenaton eliminated the corrupt and superstituous religions of his time, making many enemies of the current priviliged priesthoods of his day…of course the bibleú Jesus is a character who rallies against the priveleges and excesses of the priesthood of his time, who exploit dogma and superstition for their own personal benefit, living lives of luxury, de-coupled from the problems of their ´people´. Of course Akhenaton succeeded for a few years, before the dispossessed and disenfranchised priests combined to overthrow him, and then set about destroying all evidence that he had ever existed, all evidence of his ´city of the sun´, his ´atenic´ religion which adopted the symbol of the all-powerful sun ( todayú swastika in Nordic lands, good luck symbol originating in China), and all the teachings of the priests at On which he had adopted to form the first non-dogmatic monotheism with respect for all living things, aiming to live in Ma´at, truth and beauty and justice, experiencing joy in the beauty of nature…Like Buddha, the priests at On were more about philosophy than dogma, and they sought social justice etc and respect for all living things……and though Paul lost the plot a bit in his Christianity, the new testament continued the message of the priest at On, … though their original carrier, Moses, failed in his battle with the priesthood that evolved in his religion, the tribe of Leviticus, he too at first succeeded against superstition and idol worship, but they finally killed him for his insistence on priest at On type principles, led by priests promising things Moses could not deliver, but which of course they too could not…pure opportunists… and Mohammed, who continued the tradition, seeking to eliminate superstition, and introduce greater social welfare and redistribution of the good fortune allah bestowed upon some….But all failed, and every church returned to the old ways of a priestly class exploiting its power of the masses, from whom it more or less extorted protection money, and sold false promises…they all became corrupted by opportunists, and returned to the old idolism and superstition in new forms, replacing one form with another, but changing nothing in the actual quality of the form i.e replacing a golden bull with a crucificed christ, and saints for poly-theistic gods…but thoroughly corrupted by an insatiable desire for wealth, power, sex, gold, and the satisfaction of their every impulse and urge. the catholic church even brought back the egyptian priests mitre, headress, and opulent golden, jewel encrusted attire, along with all the abuses of power, sexual excesses, and complete ruthless annhilation of any challengers, any dissenters, anyone who questioned their authority and priveleges. Zoroasta – Zarathustra managed to salvage many remnants of the priests at On in Iran, with his ´Mazda-Yazna´ with its eternal truths … to think, intend, and to act, justly via good thoughts, good intentions, and good deeds, replacing the sun with an eternal flame. 

 

F.B.I senior officer orders his goons to ´use lethal force to eliminate every EP operative in this building´. They set their weapons to lethal, and set about carrying out their orders, however every time they come across someone they find they cannot, no matter how hard they try, no matter what their absolute, determined intention, fire their weapons. It was inexplicable. And then the commander comes across several of his agents confronted by some senior EPú (they have infiltrated one of the EP secret locations), and demands they fire. The EPú ask the commander what his intention is. He confidently states it is to eliminate them, to annhilate every last one of them. The EPs nod to each other that this has been understood. As the commander raises his own weapon it is jolted out of his hands by a directed energy burst with no identifiable source. He is then taken into custody, along with the other agents. Shit, this is not how he had planned the mission. And so far all his missions had gone to plan. He could not fathom how or why. The commander was clearly set on murdering them all. So what right did he have to mercy? well, his actions are as determined as anyones, so everyone had the same right to mercy, independant of their actions…only, if they could not be managed and posed a threat, then the threat they posed would somehow, in the most humane way possible, be neutralised. In his case he was implanted with a micro-explosive inside his neck, next to his jugular…or at least that is what he had been led to believe…in fact the nano-bots had been programmed to neutralise him by destroying his nervious system, virtually in seconds, if he posed any future threat…only the EPú could not risk revealing anything about their nanobots to anyone, and so they implanted a small tracking device in his neck, telling him any attempt to remove it would activate it…the threat existed that he would accept his own death for the completion of his mission…some authoritarian types were like that, like the suicide bombers… question remains as to whether they can ´convert´this man…they had done similar conversions in the past, and they had proven extremely valueable strategically and tactically…it was how they had known of this commander´s mission…and such men had valueable qualities per se…But would robo- sentience ever be truly sociable? Well, like every organism, it was basically a question of what algorithms you programmed it with, and how you ´allocated its mobile cathexis´i.e what activities you defined for it, hardwired it for, and softwared it for, to find pleasurable. The question was no different that for any other sentient creature. The question was, though, how could anyone be sure any robot really was sentient. Of course robots had no monopoly on that dilemma. For fact was, no-one could be sure anyone else was actually sentient. We simply made behavioural assumptions, and like Hume reminded us, constructed meaning out of correlations and experiences which, in reality, had no scientifically compelling bases. But as for the organic experience engines we inherited, what would motivate people NOT to simply plug their dopamine plants, their pleasure centers, directly into an electrical stimulator, and simply spend all their time experiencing pure pleasure? of course the question of habituation was crucial. What would happen when the power was turned off? of course it would be no different in quality than for any drug addict going cold turkey. But was there any limit? and how would people come down from such a continual high? And of course for some this raised the question of why bother doing any else at all? why not just plug ourselves into an increasingly growing pleasure source until our brains fused and we died? And does pleasure ultimately require displeasure to exit re: the allocation of a mobile cathexis, the ability of the unconscousness to ensure that dopamine and other chemicals were produced in relation to particular experiences, and pain to be produced in relation to others? Ah, so many questions remained unresolved, but none of them questioned the ultimate raison de etre for EP. The first objective was clearly to optimalise the organic experience engine and holistic inheritance we had inherited, to cease reproducing sub-optimal experiences, and to seek more optimal ones. 

 

The F.B.I troupe are shown around the facility. Any time they attempt to act violently they find they cannot act upon their apparent wills in this regard. This gives us a chance to take a tour of the EP facility. 

Our hero is a young movie director. His last film earned him major acclaim and awards. He writes in a cafe, to avoid the loneliness and isolation of working alone. He has cameras all over his body and notebook. And so no-one ever snuck up on him. He can see what is going on around him without obviously beeing seen to be doing so. He reflects on Louis 14th at Versaille, who wore mirrored shoes. He would place them under the dresses and layered petticoats that were the fashion, and which obviated the need for panties. If a pretty young girl had a pretty shaved slit, she might become one of his lovers or mistresses…at very least they would be doing their duty, by providing their King with something to think about while doing his mechanical duty with the queen, and thus the girls contributed to the stability, peace, and prosperity of the entire nation. For a King with male heirs meant stability of procession, and the avoidance of conflicts and civil wars as others fought for his crown after his death. Of course the Tibetan Buddhists had invented the concept of the reincarnation of the Dali Lama to avoid such conflicts after the death of their fedual lord, their Dali Lama. The kings advisors would be free to select a suitable new master from among the many candidates…once they found one with the desired qualities they could assert, through controlled processes, that this child was in fact the reincarnated old DAli Lama. They may have chosen badly occasionally, resulting in their having to murder several young Dali Lamas found in the local brothels and so on, but in principle it was a sound deceit, or as Plato would have called it, Noble lie. And so our hero would sit at the table, ´renting´ it by ordering one sort of coffee product after another another, and checking out the local talent, occasionally flirting with them as they approached him, having recognised him or heard about him from other girls, all payed for by the advance on his new project. And what was the film that had got him this far? His film was poetic in its simplicity, and yet powerful and dramatic. It began with a young man noticing the flickering numbers of a large digital display above a square in the city. It showed the growth in the human population. It continued on at a rate of about 2.6 per second, the average world birth-rate. The people continue past him, and he goes on. Next day he returns, and notes it appears to be slowing. Others by now have had their attention drawn to the display, following this manú gaze. As the display slows down, more and more people appear drawn to it. As it flickers up and down, and begins falling, casual groups begin forming around it. Soon more and more people crowd around, some moving on, others remaining to talk to each other. Eventually a more or less permanent group habituate the square. Some set up rudimentary shelters. Conversations abound about possible explanations. Different groups form. Some are religious in nature, lead by preachers. Others are environmentalists. Some fear an alien conspiracy. One claims that the dinosaurs had been wiped out by a virus, that had only been stopped by an ice age, and that the melting polar caps had re-released that virus, which had been frozen and dormant for millions of years up until then. Ultimately the film ends with a few, old people, wandering around under the display muttering to themselves, some mad, others lifeless…etc others raise a drunken toast to the end of humamity, the extinction of the human species… we had a good run , didn´t we…but we blew it… 

Flashback to the last days of Akhenaton…the Priests he earlier disenfranchised and dispossed have rebelled and are bent on destroying his city and new, mono-theistic religion. He is hastily arranging some important objects. A guard enters followed by their captain, the governor of a distant province. He greets Akhenaton with the guesture associated with the Priests at On. Like him he is a devotee. He has brought an entire tribe of slaves with him. They are waiting a few kms from the city gates for him to return. This ´Moses´then heartily hugs Akhenaton, swears his loyalty to the Priests at On, and, in a very particular tone, recites `For all those who seek to live in Ma´at´, as he disengages and dissappears with his entourage into the dark night. As he does so we see, behind him, flames leaping within the city, as the city gates are breached, and a furious mob, led by the formerly deposed cult-priests, set upon Akhenatons followers, destroying the city, and looting it. It is clear they mean to eliminate all trace of it. For Egyptian history it will be as if Akhenaton and his Atenic monotheistic religion never existed. However this ´Moses´has left with the most prized possession. What is it? We then go forward in the flash-back to Rome, and one Paul of Tarsus. He is preaching peace, justice, and living in truth and beauty. He is overheard saying ´To all those who would seek to live in Ma´at´to a small group who appear to be his followers or comrades. 

If there is a war between EP and rest, then at least as it should always have been fought, between old men, vs the history of sending young, naive, innocent men out to fight for the privileges and benefits of the old men in power. 

Poetic bit: snowfall layering like sandstone, sculptured and curved like flowing waves caught frozen in time…but millenia sped up to days, in case of falling snow vs sandstone, forming bows and ledges with clear ´rings´of discrete snowfall…of days, Vs the 1000s of years in geological time of dieing organisms falling to an ancient primeval ocean floor to be compressed by 1000ú of years of further deaths and falling bodies, one day to be raised by the actions of tectonic plates and uplift and lowering sea levels. 

Visit to Amsterdam post crisis…robo-sex quarter where robotic sex workers compete with ´organics´for trade, and electrically induced neural intoxicants and mood enhancers compete with ´hash cafes´ for consumers. Tourists visit the ´dream sculpturers´and ´dream producers´to experience experimental entertainments so far banned in other nations. 

Internal schism in EP? re: debate over question of robotic transmigration of souls…many affirm, others skeptical…leading to different approaches i.e seeking to optimalise human body as experience engine via eugenics etc, or focus on producing optimal robotic experience engines…sort of consensus that two paths compatible, and in reality evolution occurs by means of a synthesis…but question remains as to whether robots actually experience pleasure per se, or merely produce behavioural cues to satisfy a desire to satisfy us humans i.e more or less pretend…no way to know for sure…and point of experience is, after all, pleasure…all motives reduce to the desire for pleasurable sensations, and to avoid displeasureable ones…the ´mobile cathexis´ may unconsciously attach itself to pro reproduction and survival actions, and define particular actions and sensations as pleasurable, and produce dopamine etc as a result of repeating these actions, and producing sensations of displeasure, boredom, and pain, in association with actions likely to reduce reproduction and survival, but our actual motivation to act at all is basically the desire to experience pleasurable sensations….a loyal wife or servant might simulate pleasure for the sake of their master or husband…and so robots might behave in the same way so as not to displease or injure us, as loyal companions. And further, Socrates, Lao Tzu, and most rigorous philosophers of every age, including Buddha and Schopenhauer, have defined oblivion, a calm, windless, empty state devoid of desire, death, as the ultimate state of being, so called ´Nirvana´. This put the whole EP raison de etre in question for some people. However there was no conflict between seeking to prove Buddha wrong by producing an optimal experience engine and holistic inheritance that was ultimately satisfying, rather than dis-satisfying, especially given that every person had universal, unrestricted, unquestioned access and rights to euthanasia, should they find that, whatever EP came up with, that life was still, for them, dis-satisfying, and not worthy of reproduction, or further evolution. And so any apparent nominal conflicts all proved resolveable. Nothing in the EP agenda conflicted with any of the various free thinking members. No argument was censored. All arguments were considered. And so, unlike all dogma, which is based on lies and denial, the EP organisation proved to have an integrity and strength capable of dealing with every eventuality. And of course the Dionyssian, Nietzschean view was clearly consistent with EPs quest to optimalise the biological experience engines we inherited, along with the society that formed part of the greater, holistic inheritance. And the cool, calm, appolonian types could focus on the cool calm metallic logic of robotics. There was no need for any EP to seek oblivion via alcohol and other drugs. Their rights to euthanasia was unquestioned. And in the absence of exploitation, few people found ever found themselves feeling any desperate need to shuffle of their mortal coils. Everyone found satisfaction knowing that they were contributing to the most positive evolutionary process ever known. 

?The EP experts on evolution expected the gradual merging of robotics with the human biological forms, until one day the parts might be indistinguishable…and a truly new, optimal, experience engine had emerged 

 

?Hero lisening to ´phony´ by ´Pussy´, Kim Jestems band : … And phony Dali Lama gives his karma to his butcher…and in the land of opportunism it is in gold and not their god they trust… I wanted to catch the fallen in the rye, but I´d catch em and they´d  go back and push others off the edge, and so I realised, good intentions ain enough, got to ensure the consequences are good too…and what I see is aint any victim, not a one, that aint also pushin too…o.k, maybe there are one or two, Vegans…remember heaven is a gated community, but wait until the stinking corpses arrive on the day of rapture, I doubt they gonna be welcome in Wisteria Lane…anyway, Christians only pray for themselves and their own, just superstition, nothin spiritual…and hey, didn´t everyone want to do their mum and do away with their dad?, and one or two siblings too?…Freud is the true messiah, giving salvation from original Oedipal sin…now  tell me, what did your Jesus ever really do? and with friends like his, you couldn´t blame him, doomed to fail, but I guess that was supposed to be our saving? 

 

And then the D.J introduces the new´Pussy´(Kim Jestemú band) single…´I was saved by pharamo-psychi-at-ry´… ´They saw I wasn´t happen with the way my life was heading, so many things with which I could not agree, they saw I might challenge their noble lies, and the interests of the ben-e-fic-i-ar-ies, and so they decided to save me, from the philosophers ultimate desire, and ultimate destination of everyoneú destiny…they cut my fingers off, so   couldn´t tie a noose, pull a trigger, or hold a knife, they cut out my tongue so  I couldn´t ask someone to help me end my pain, and finally to save me, they cut out pieces of my brain…and everyone was pleased he´d no longer bother anyone, with questions about the validity of their social and subjective realities, and everyone who knew someone who had seen him would tell you, ´He looked so peaceful, so tranquil´, and he never once more caused any grief, or felt any pain…no he never once more felt anything, no joy at the summer rain, so love, no connection, no desire, no depression, nothing, not a thing…he´d been granted nirvana, windlessness, the end of desire, he had been granted his bliss… and so I commend him to you, the man saved by pharma-co-psych-i-a-try…. 

 

Our hero thinks back to one day when he had been told by the local police, who he had called in to deal with a conflict, joked with him, dryly, that ´you need your own army, mate´… and a smile spread out spontaneously across his features…ah, what an apt prophecy…and he wondered if the guy had any idea what a nostradamus he was … but then the idea took hold of him…anyone could be part of the EPs…was that copper?  

 

Character: researcher? wakes from dream, only the dream felt more real than his experiences awake in ´reality´….in dream the earth had been an unauthorised research project of a team of advanced alien sociologists from another world…in fact no-one would have even considered the project, let alone submit it for ethics committee approval…the idea was horrific…more than taboo…it just wouldn´t enter most researchers minds at all…but this small group had gone ahead anyway…their project was ´to observe the consequences of negative selection on a controlled population group.´ They had ´seeded´ a planet (earth) with self-replicating organisms intending to allow them to compete and reproduce without any intervention, design, or direction on the part of a overseeing body…in other words, rather than the ´traditional´ positive selection their race had practised since the re-introduction of their golden age (before which negative selection, it was rumoured, was the norm), they would allow competition to perform the task of selection of traits, via ´negative´selection. This was millenia ago, or so the myth had it…for today this planet was the black market entertainment industries biggest money spinner…organisms were rented out as ´experience engines´, to connosiors of anarchy, pain, pleasure, and especially war. And people were willing to part with huge sums to experience these experiences…especially wars…which this planet offered in abundance…war with its violence, rape, murder, theft…and lately the control of this franchise had passed into the hands of a syndicate of elite mafia types and political high-ups, including, it was rumoured, the new presidential candidate. But then leaks at the highest levels brought out cries of outrage from the public and ruling classes alike, those that would never succumb to the seduction of such experiences, or who would never be able to afford to ´play´. How dare they allow billions of organisms to endure a life of negative selection, with no guiding direction or design, thrown to the mercy of pure chance interactions and cutthrought competition….and to think, the bulk of them had set up their cities on a ´ring of fire´, at the junction of tectonic plates which were due, according to their best estimates, destroy them within the next few years. The public were outraged, but of course their curiousity was more than out of empathy. It was delicious, this gossip. Just too horrific to be true. Yes, these creatures ate each other. well, they made distinctions between species, but basically the place was some sort of ´restaurant at the end of the universe´, with sentient life cannabalising sentient life´. Utterly unthinkable and monstrous. And worse, one of the dominant species exploited their inequality over less powerful species and did ´scientific´tests on them, while they were alive, and mostly conscious. They bred them and kept them in horrific conditions to collect their eggs, to milk them, or to kill them to eat their very bodies, and then dressed themselves in their skins and furs. It was just too horrendous to be true. And so salacious. So seedy. Not even the most talented horror story writers could imagine such a world. Such a cruel and hostile world. But, in total contrast to such barbarity and cruelty, they also produced the most beautiful works of music, art, architecture, poetry, literature, movies, gardens,…. and a few had even evolved, through sheer random co-incidence, a system of ethics close to the taken for granted, natural way these advanced aliens own society functioned…however they were few, and persecuted and ridiculed by everyone else…these Eden Protocolists were of particular interest to the aliens authorities. For some still held to the ancient myths that in fact their own society had once been determined by negative selection, and that a few enlightened beings had introduced the world of positive selection that they all took for granted today. These stories had been dismissed as fairytales. For the authorities taught that the world and society they lived in had always been this way. It had been produced by a perfect god in all its perfection, free of any inherent conflicts or violence. And so the idea that this perfection could have been produced by a process of negative selection that was so horrific, unfair, cruel, and nasty, was beyong their ability or willingness to conceive. And any who had ventured such a fantasy conception had been swiftly ´treated´ for their ´insanity´ and ´blasphemy´ by the ´guardians´ whose job it was to protect the sacred,holy, perfect order of the status quo. And yet this very world they were observing, defined by negative selection, had in fact produced a ´breed´ of humans not so far from their own race in ethics…only they did not have the power to put their ´Eden protocols´ in place, to replace negative selection with positive selection….and so it was that they were sent some assistance…a team of their scientists were aided unobtrusively, and so their ´nano-bot´technology had emerged! 

 

EP realise that apart from the authority Buddha appealed to, that of compelling argument and scientific reasoning, which appealed to few average people who never achieved the level of enlightenment required to comprehend, let alone emotionally accept, such arguments, the most likely form of authority would be success. People paid attention to the successful. Whether they defined their success as gods blessing, and hence proof of the speakers legitimate authority, or the listeners simply wanted to learn the secrets of the persons success, success itself granted you some transferred authority when you spoke about anything. You had a special status. The gods had blessed you, or you had learned some secret magic. Either way you were special, and people would be willing to listen carefully and consider your arguments no matter what you were speaking about. In the past the priests were successful in terms of aiding military victory, fertility of crops, harvests, farm animals, and women, of bringing rains, of ending droughts. They demonstrated some connection with the natural world, the spririts, the ancestors, the gods, or the god, through this success. And so when they spoke, people listened, and took them seriously. And so EP leaders, such as Kim Jestem, and our Hero the film producers, sought fame and success as a means to this ends. To get people to listen to their messages, encoded in movies, songs, literature, plays, and the broader popular culture. The trappings of their success, the money, the girls, the status, were all desired as means to these ends, rather than as ends in themselves. Similar to the protestants and their work ethic, the desire for success to console themselves with the feeling that god loved them, proving it through blessing them with success, this success merely providing the emotional reinforcement of the feeling of being loved by god, and ensured of an eternal reward etc, and protection in this life too… 

 

Taxation and welfare will allow people to spread their profits and income from good years across the bad years. Creative people who work hard but earn little income for many years before achieving success, will be able to spread the income from this year over those previous years, where some connection is reasonable to assume, or can be proven. Hence writers, musicians, artists and so on will be able to average out their incomes over all previous years. For example to be fair, then if I ever earn any income for the work of the last 25 years, it should be averaged, as I earned no income from my work over that time, and I was, because of it, unable to earn any other form of income. I would have to earn over a million dollars before you could even consider that I had been fairly renumerated for 25 years of work, as even a minimum wage worker would earn a million dollars in 25 years, taking inflation and average bank interest in consideration. And that does not even begin to compensate for the risk factor. Compensation must account for risk. Hence probability times actual reward gives us a starting point. If you have a 1% chance of success, then you must leverage the minimum wage 100 fold. This is simple probability statistics. However as under EP conditions everyone was guaranteed a minimum income, and required to participate in a minimum number hours per year carrying out the least desirable tasks, in reality the rewards the most creative people are fairly entitled to would not exceed 10 times the most common income, with further calculations to average out this return over the previous years, so that in reality the ‘windfalls’ of creative activity would end up no more than 5 times the most common income. But this ensured that creativity is motivated extrinsically, and ensures, more importantly, that the strongest incentives are actually intrinsic, that people will work on projects they really care about per se, rather than doing so as a means to greater incomes. Thus artists would tend to be more authentic, and so on. 

Show how a zero tolerance policy towards all forms of violence can be implemented, while maintaining informed consent for all interactions. Achieve social development goals todays schools pretend to. with specific modules in core skills. Competence based progressions rather than age-based ones. 

 

Module based. Success in each level pre-requisite to moving onto next. Focus on strengths, rather than forcing failure. More need for social and communication skills, and creativity etc, then for maths for most people. However comprehension TROONATNOOR  is pre-requisite to society functioning optimally. Education about the nature of religion and its evolution. Optimal ethic generator part of EP spirituality i.e optimal dogma/faith for those whose natures seek religion per se re: rituals etc, but no recourse to superstition and appeals for the intercession of gods, angels, spirits etc on our behalf, or to homeopathic or sympathetic magic. 

 

 

For EP sequel: can elucidate the education of EP children in the EP colonies. Design a course in TROONATNOOR  for students from kindergarten onto primary school and then high school. Show how sexuality  can be taught transparently without accelerating sexual development beyond its natural rate, and show how sexual children are. Show how students will interact sexually, masturbating each other. No pressure is put on anyone to do anything they are not naturally inclined towards, and no acts will be defined as ‘shameful’. Sexual shame eliminated. Masturbation natural, good, stress relief, conflict management tool. Education about risks, health issues, problems of jealousy including sexual jealousy. Education in techniques. Safer sex (though no STD’s any more). About rights and responsibilities. No unplanned pregnancy so no need for contraception. No homophobia. Constant on-going group therapy sessions about jealousy, envy, hostility, malice, bullying, tall-poppy syndrome, deterministic nature of TROONATNOOR and thus fairness being defined by relatively equal reward for effort, sacrifice, and risk, with unequal rewards necessary to motivate each person to realise their best potential, which benefits everyone, hence some inequality, though unfair, is optimal. 

 

 

Concept of ´vegan´now redundant, as no animals (outside of EP colonies). Gives opportunity to show how redundant animal products really are, and how necessity is the mother of invention…once people were motivated to do so, they found vegan alternatives to every product they needed, alternative ways to carry out medical and scientific research, and so on. Chance here to detail some of them, based on current PETA scientific data etc and product lists. And many cruel practices proved unnecessary in any case…they had merely been practised out of habit, and laziness…once reality required it, the scientists found they could do without most animal testing and animal based research, including medical research, and in fact this need for innovation and a new creative approach proved the greatest boon and impulse for innovation and progress ever seen. 

 

Our heroú love of coffee chance to use coffee as example of neo-colonialism, speculation, not-free markets etc in developing world and notion of fair trade etc. At first the labour shortages lead to speculation in all labour intensive agricultural areas, including coffee…in New York commodity exchanges speculators initially drove up the price of our hero´s favored beans to record highs, up over 300%. But for once their greed actually produced some good. It prompted cafe chains like J & L (Jules and Luc´s vegan co-op affiliate from first novel) to become seriously active in the production of beans. They offered their experience and expertise, and resources, to help local growers set up co-ops. At first the big coffee corps used every dirty trick and strategy they could to try to prevent this. A good chance to reveal how neo-colonialism worked and works i.e big corporations, along with the world bank, buy up all the land, often forcing landholders off by force, or lending them money and forclosing on their property during bad times, either naturally occuring or actively produced by the corps and their goons…then left with no alternative, they are forced to work for the big companies…in cases world bank loans made to corrupt governments on condition ´invest´in monocultures i.e one crop e.g coffee…at first good business, but everyone doing same so supply went up, prices down, and most became indebted to world bank etc and at their mercy, and of big companies…who abused this power…prevented locals farming any other crops and therefore becoming dependant on imports for daily living, which became more and more expensive, … at same time interest rates went up etc… thus neocolonialism and worldbank, big business control of only nominally independant nations re: sovereign states…however this time farmers had Jules and Luc and their vegan co-op on their side…they anticipated every dirty trick, they accepted some losses as inevitable, but were determined to break the neocolonial hold…first the big coffee corps tried to squeese J & L from all coffee distribution channel,s along with their co-op farmers. They could not distribute their crops. However other co-ops and fair trade organsiations joined forces and produced new distribution and processing channels…word of their success spread…along with the grown co-op infrastructure…cutting out all the middle men, all the speculators, all the New York commodities traders, all the wasteful advertising and marketing companies…allowing prices to restabilise along with growing living standards for the coffee growers, who now earned real living wages, with social security, health, and education, and incentives for risk, sacrifice, and effort. .. Like Rocky Balboa, J & L had to take a few shots on the chin, and roll with the punches. A few times they were on the mat, but like Rocky, when they got knocked down, they just ´fought harder´. And so coffee prices restabilised at a slightly higher price, reflecting the fairer returns to growers, offset by the massive elimination of all forms of waste, middle-men, marketing, and speculation, finance etc … and local farmers were encouraged to grow all the food they needed locally, diversifying crops and products, producing greater stability, peace, and prosperity for everyone. 

 

Our hero sees sign ´cat shelter´and for some reason imagines a little house made of interlocking cats…and draws a cartoon (one of his other hobbies after stand-up comedy) of a dog earnestly looking at a sign saying ´cat food´… a cat walks by and he swallows it in one go re: automatic association. Our hero also had some success in Japan (where part of story will be set) with a manga series about a secret priesthood, a-la ´priests at On´… each generation produces an ´enlightened one´ who will go on to write manuscripts etc of philosophical writings etc…and a dark organisation seeks to destroy him and all his works. They secretly collect and burn every manuscript, seeking them out, sometimes killing their owners also, and attempting to eradicate all trace of his writings to posterity a-la the Egyptian priets destruction of the city of Aton, the city of the sun, of Akhenaton´s monotheistic religion based on the teachings of ´the priests at On´. They murder him and all his colleagues, and completely eradicate virtually any mention of his or his city or teachings…archaeologists find a few broken shards and glyphs on reused stones to reconstruct his story… and so Jesus? if he was real, and some of the earlier prophets, including Moses, who snuck out of Akhenaton´s city with some manuscripts etc, and so on are all killed, as are some of the new testament writers etc…all seeking to further the message of the priests at On etc…. only this time around the enlightened one is not identifyable by any rank or prestige or title…he is a humble, normal person without any idea of his role, nor an associations with anyone who might reveal his nature and destiny…and this time our enlightened one, our hero, has placed his messages in all manner of popular cultural items such as songs, films, comics, novels, and so on…so it would be impossible for the dark enemy to eliminate them, even if they do identify him…and they do…but he now has a more powerful ally than any enlightened one before him…the eden protocolists… 

 

One of his projects as a little drama piece for some ´Theatre of the absurd´ a-la Beckett and co. His little piece cycled through this narrative, mostly silently, dependent on the facial expressions and body language of the actors. His two characters, like in ´Waiting for Godot´, want to kill themselves, but they cannot bring themselves to suicide. It takes greater courage etc than most people imagine. People imagine killing themselves, but it is harder done than imagined. And so his two heros agree to kill each other…they get to the point of pointing loaded weapons at each other, and counting down 3, 2, 1…but neither has the nerve…they keep stopping each other saying ´Hey, but what about kittens…cute children…etc etc i.e all the things you might be able to justify living for… but each time they analyse their potential candidates and find they don´t, in a nietzschean or cost-benefit sense, justify enduring their lives. And so they hit upon the plan of making each other angry enough to kill the other. They abuse each other, criticise each other, and thus go over all their gripes and grievances…and in one instance one gets so angry and pissed off that he actually pulls the trigger….but the gun jams, or the bullet is a dud, or a blank…but they didn´t know that… which shocks them both completely…they are horrified that one of them had been able to pull the trigger…`you, you, were actually going to kill me, you fucking bastard, you actually killed me…I can´t believe it etc …and he starts beating him ineffectually with his arms, hitting him, over and over sort of loosely until he is exhausted and falls into him…he catches his fall and they sort of half stand, supporting each other…which is comic in a tragic, dada sense etc i.e ridiculous and very human etc…He apologizes profusely and genuinely, crying, begging forgiveness, shamed, guilty, unable to forgive himself etc, pleading with other…he grabs him and holds him dearly, crying etc…and so they break down like this in each otherú arms…it is pathetic but human…it is a sort of Zen master moment i.e the shock brings them to sudden enlightenment ….they end up finding excuses for each others bad treatment etc…including how they stole each others lovers, ruined the others chances with girls they wanted for themselves, sabotaged their relationships and careers etc etc all out of selfishness, greed, envy, jealousy etc etc… But this is all theoretical…and just then some small act of nature occurs, something beautiful appears, a baby animal, a flower etc…and for a moment this distracts them…Ahhh, how cute…look….for a moment there is peace and calm, for this moment of distraction from their lives…but this soon passes, with the animal or whatever, and we return to the start of the play again, which cycles over and over, repeating with some slight variations, and never actually ends….the audience remain as long as they like, until they get the point and leave…but the actors continue…until at some point a screen emerges behind them re-playing their entire scene, and our two heros on stage sit down on the stage and watch the film, as the lights dim, and we lose sight of them…that is, anyone still left in the audience…One powerful key is that the audience don´t know the play cycles, etc, and are not sure if they should continue watching…a powerful metaphor for life itself…how are we to know if things might not have a happy ending, or at least variety…how are we to know when we should leave the audience? maybe it will get better, maybe we will learn something, maybe we missed something that will be revealed later, if we hang in there…and those who left are left wondering if they missed something…only those remaining get to the film stage, as our actors dissappear from the screen, but the film runs on and on until all the audience have left, never ending…but just after the lights dim and the film begins, and they sit down to watch it, one comments to the other ´can´t we just change a bit here and there? you know, a bit of variation? excitement? I mean, I don´t expect that we can change the ending, but a bit of novelty would be nice now and then, even a bit of suspense…do we have to keep repeating everything ´exactly´verbatim, over and over again. Like ´here´, we come to a point in the film…couldn´t we change it here a bit, I mean, here we could … but the other shakes his head…look. O.K. say we did try and make some changes…its only going to end the same, isn´t it? I mean, no-one can change the ending, can they? So why bother? Buddha reminded us that the striving for pleasure always produces displeasure, in the end. Sure, yes, but what about Nietzsche, the other interrupts. The other breaks out in laughter. You really think the two of us are going to contribute to the becoming of the superman? Us? O.K, sure, but his point was that you can´t look at life from a cost benefit approach. Of course for most of us the costs will be higher than the benefits. But if you look at it in an absolute way, I mean, accept the pain as a pre-requisite to experiencing the pleasure..at this point the other interrupts him, incredulous…pleasure? what pleasure? When was the last time we had any pleasure? Sure, sometimes it looks like we are on the verge of it, that it is just around the corner, but when we slave up the road and turn that corner what do we get? Nix, Nada, NOthing! Its all a trick, this hope business. Tricks you into playing an end game is all. Sure, a few people get their ends, but its clear who is lucky from the day they are born…a few are lucky…that tricks the rest of us into imagining that our luck could change too…but that is all BS…The other replies…sure, but thatú the point, its all going to end the same, so surely we should take some chances now and then, try something different, I mean, it is risky, but in the end it all ends up the same anyway, so surely it is worth seeing if we can find a better game to play? 

 

The crisis of course brings out the fear, which brings out superstition. Many cults begin practising the age old forms of sympathetic magic, like heros gamos, to stimulate nature to return to its fertility, as the ancients would do every winter, to ensure the return of the sun, and spring, and fertility, and the reproduction of all the animals and plants they were dependant upon for their survival. Of course infertile women also sought the help of priests and shaman to ensure they might become fertile. And so we have a chance to look at the meaning of christmas, new year, all the religious rites recycled by the newer cults and religions… In 2010 2.6 children were born every second. Numerologists begin seeking ways to get the digital counters reversing their direction, and use such numbers in their gobble-de-gook. couples all over the place engage in ritual sex. Orgies take place in open field, and under the digital counters. Our hero included such things in his short film. Of course the traditional witch-hunts and scapegoating also return, and authorities have a hard time protecting minorities targetted, including atheists, infidels, homosexuals, scientists etc etc … you name a group, and some other group is using that group as a scapegoat, seeking to lay blame for the crisis upon it and its ´immoral ways´ or ´sacrilege´or ´blasphemy´etc. Thus all the policing agencies, FBI, CIA etc and many other homeland security become overwhelmed, and most people and corporations require their own masive private security measures. The rich retreat to a medieval castle and walled city mentality. 

 

Has someone leaked EP secrets? will they be confronted with the necessity of going public, and confronting a massively overwhelming majority of non EPs? Have enough of the general public evolved to a level where they could empathise and comprehend the EPs? Or is all out war necessary? of course EP have planned for every forseeable eventuality, and had flexible systems in place for dealing with new, unforseeable, emergent situations…the question was not whether they could win, but of avoiding such violence per se. Of course only one individual can experience anything, including death. And so it made in principle no difference whether you were responsible for the death of one or billions. For some that sounded cynical, but for EPs it meant that they considered the death of one person as unconscionable an act as the murder of billions…and hence they had more respect for life than anyone had ever had, let alone anyone with power had ever had…and so they always sought ways to avoid it…but if it was necessary, then these deaths would be as quick, painless, and dignified as possible. And their nanobot technologies made this possible. The target would lose consciousness during their sleep, and within seconds be brain-dead. The potential enemies of EP had all been thoroughly infiltrated to the highest levels…at times simple blackmail was employed with the more selfish targets for whom any appeal to ethics or reason would be pointless. they never became aware of who was blackmailing them and for what purposes, but as they were ruthless and selfish, it made no matter to them…they simply got what they wanted from the deal…and so many were doing EP bidding without any notion that EP might exist…EP had even infiltrated many organisations that even the highest ranking military and F.B.I, and C.I.A agencies had no knowledge of…and it had learned about the most secret one of all…the dark organisation which had plagued humanity since the dawn of society, of culture, even before the priest at On. And so the plan was that if war became inevitable and necessary, the EP would strike before any nasty, destructive, violence etc broke out…they especially feared the use of nuclear and biological warfare which could contaminate the world that was to come…and so at any sign of major military or terrorist actions, the EP would neutralise those players, in pre-emptive nanobot strikes. If necessary it would also employ conventional weapons, to avoid any suspicion arising … in the event of conflicts that could be isolated and narrowly confined. By all means the EP must avoid inheriting a planet that was even more of a toxic mess than it already was. the projections were shocking… water table,. river, lake, and sea contamination, heavy metals in large land areas (chance to detail current problems with toxicity etc and pollution). After the crises the motivation to protect the environment was low in most people…but others managed to spin the situation, so that people would associate the crisis with pollution and toxic chemicals etc, and believe that by cleaning up the planet, we could once more recover fertility…and so the EP turned the situation around so that people became more motivated to protect and clean up the environment than ever before. 

 

Typically, after any revolution, the new opportunists take advantage of the void left by the old opportunists, to exploit their power for their own personal gain, to satisfy their own desires and impulses. Opportunism is the problem of the human condition. We are opportunistic. The only balances to this opportunism are reason and empathy. These qualities defined the EPs more than any other. And thus there never was any real threat that the EPs would simply exploit their power for selfish, narrow purposes. They could easily had become the new beneficiary classes, exploiting the billions of less evolved humans for their own satisfaction. Every past religion experienced schisms between the idealists and the opportunists, and the opportunists won, as they were always more popular among the opportunistic masses. EP was the first time in history an organisation could select its members, and remove any that proved opportunistic rather than idealistic and principled. Once removed, they would lose all memory of their EP experiences, or of the EP itself. And so opportunists had been weeded out, leaving only idealistic, principled members committed to the EP mission. And so there never was any schism. their was solidarity. There was transparency. there was a clear hierarchy based on competence and level of enlightenment. But none of the leadership exploited their positions to gain any personal privileges or benefits. All the benefits were shared according to effort and sacrifice. All accepted the eugenics plan. Some might be able to contribute less this time around, but as they complied with the entire EP system, they were rewarded based on their effort and sacrifice, within reasonable limits. some inequality existed, but it was considered fair and reasonable, given the need to motivate people to employ their own holistic inheritances to the greatest degree, from which everyone benefitted. there were no lawyers, no stock brokers, no marketing people, no priests….and so no waste, and no exploitation..all were equal before the law, and had equal access to legal resources, educational resources, medical resources, and sexual and emotional resources… 

 

One of the cults that emerges is that of ´Robo transmigration´… a new religion based on the belief that human ´souls´will transmigrate to the new generation of robots that are emerging. Robots are acclaimed as the new, optimal experience engines that are destined to replace biological organsims, includeing the human species. Of course the traditional churches are applaled, defining this new ´heresty´as sacrilege etc, and calling upon their members to take great care as not to become corrupted too. Of course arguments abound re: how to know if anything is sentient, and philosophers remind everyone that we cannot even be sure that other humans are sentient, we basically assume so based on mere behavioural cues…etc i.e chance to discuss nature of sentience etc and life per se… 

 

As early as the antique times, the alien observers (those not paying for a ‘ride’ in an experience engine down on earth…note…they get so ‘immersed’ in the experience, through the thrall of pleasure and pain, that they end up completely identifying with the engine, the organism, and end up suffering massively at times, unconscious of the fact that they can easily ‘escape’ and simply leave the experience engine…others actually find the pain exquisite and rarified, and wouldn’t leave these experiences even if they had remembered they  could…sort of narrative of LRon to explain why thetans trapped in bodies a-la Buddhist identification with soma etc and thrall of desire…n.b even though an unlimited number of people could take the same ride, inhabiting the same consciousness, for marketing purposes they made each organism exclusive, apart from exceptions for couples and groups who wanted to share the same experience…in the short term people managed to enter and leave bodies, before becoming enthralled, but this more the exception rather than the rule…they found the experience too fascinating etc, and ended up enthralled and forgetting it was a ride when things got ugly etc) …. 

 

anyway, by as early as antique times, the defining characteristic of earth was slavery…a small minority leverged its superior ‘natural’ holistic inheritance, strength, beauty, cunning, intelligence, to produce an even greater social superiority over its fellows, who it then commanded, and then commanded to command others in its name…it maintained this system by providing ever increasing rewards to those people it commanded, in a strict hierarchy of status, power, and privileg. This motivated all the subservient peoples…they had no reason to risk what they had for the chance of gaining a little more, and each was opportunistic in their own right, the victim no better than the perpetrator, and so the slave dreamed of entering into this system of privileges one day, and commanding his own slaves…and so individuals and their families rose to power, keeping everyone under their domination with rewards and punishments…everyone having an incentive to maintain the status quo, this incentive being their particular privilegs over those that they in turn dominated, in the service of their own masters and overlords…. in any case this defining character of slavery, of a mass of people producing all the value that a few enjoyed consuming, while originating out of pure brute force a-la ‘might is right’ , became more subtle over generations, with the invention of concepts such as gods and heavens and hells…these were all reflexive of, products of, the slave state. They lead people to believe that the order on earth was not just founded upon the brute force of their overlords, but on the fact that their overlords had been chosen by the gods to rule. Thus it was not just a question of challenging your overlord, but of the gods themselves, should you consider rebelling. Your overlord owned you legally, but the god owned your immortal soul, and would punish your eternally for disobeying those he had set in power over you…you did not own yourself…your overlord and the god did…and if you deprived either of their property they would ensure you suffered much more than anything you might endure in serving them over your lifespan…and few noted the inconsistency between what this slave-master religion taught…for example the necessity of free will was clear if karma and justice were to be valid concepts…only if you acted out of a free will would it be just of a god to punish you…and only if rewards were just, could this god be just in giving everything good to the rich, and forcing the poor to do all the work…only if the poor deserved this, through actions of their own free will, could it be considered just and fair, and hence the god just and fair, which were characteristics of a god you could love, and not just fear…but it all derived from the basis of the state, slavery of one form or another…the slave deserved their lot as much as the rich did…god had ordained it…each man had earned it somehow…the good were rewarded on earth, as the lords were, and the poor would be rewarded in heaven… and so an entire system of beliefs known as religion, based upon the system of slavery, serfdom, peasant-dom, and later wage-slaves…emerged…and this fascinated the sociologists among the aliens… and lead them to question whether perhaps the same sort of system and beliefs had ever dominated their own kind…but they had been taught that their order had been god ordained in its perfection…even though many saw this as a mere childrens story…and were certain the system had emerged, millenia ago, out of a process of evolution not unlike what they were observing…only it had taken millions of years of suffering…and they were intent that the species they observed should not have to wait that long…and they searched and searched from among those they observed for signs of a higher ethic, one above the slave-master ethic of their peers, they looked for any signs of the sort of impulses that defined their own current species, impulses towards reason, empathy, synergy, justice, fairness, eugenics, euthanasia, etc etc….until they found a small group, calling themselves the EP, and after years of observation and unobtrusive testing, they decided they would speed up the evolutionary process on this planet, and unobtrusively revealed to them the technical advances which lead to the nano-robots,… etc … and ironically it was this group of aliens that, in 2012, were puzzled and amused by the attempt of one group of conspirators with a less than optimal political ambition, to fake an alien landing…and provided EP with the evidence etc to quickly spoil the plot, and reveal the hoax as a hoax, before they could gain any influence a-la we are superior aliens with superior technology and therefore our social plan for you must also be superior re: gaining the authority as superior aliens re:transferred authority 

 

 

In a sort of prequel, flashback, in our sequel, we get a chance to see an EP society that has been in place for at least millenia…to see how it might operate…its optimalisations and limitations, its regulations and benefits…we observe a typical set of interactions…mothers masturbating sons, public sex, incest, complete absence of any notion of sexual shame…all interactions based on informed consent, the absence and zero tolerance of any forms of coercion, deception, or abuse of power, no simply means no, and the abundance of sexual opportunites means no is easy to accept…the absence of any sexual guilt, children explained oedipus complex in their childhood…usually means boys prefer sexual interactions with sisters and mothers over brothers and fathers, and same for daughters and fathers, no repression, no neuroses, sons still sort of resent fathers presence at times, and mothers of daughters, but this is only natural, and they grow out of any sort of sexual jealousy of parents…and accept their infantile desire to kill their competition is human nature, and thoughts do not equal acts i.e they have no need to feel guilt for having wanted to do bad things…it is part of growing up to learn to moderate our impulses…etc..so no oedipus complex and neuroses for ‘religion’ to exploit…and in any case absence of inequality to exploit, so no slave-master society, making religion and its concepts, which are all derivative of slave-master systems of relations, redundant… 

 

 

during our visit to the alien culture, at the pinnacle of EP development, we see people having sexual interactions in public, without any sign of any sexual jealousy or envy…why?  by this time everyone is beautiful and sexy, so none need to go without, or feel inadequate, or envious of what others have and they dont, as everyone has, and no-one doesnt. In the odd cases someone is less than beautiful, they are rarely ugly, and they have the choice of euthanasia, on the belief they will be leaving one ugly body, to enter a new beautiful body … and the cases are so rare they actually become sort of stars, and want for nothing, despite being ugly, simply as so many people find them exotic and sort of beautiful and unique in their own right… 

 

oh, why no slavery and its associated beliefs and ‘religion’?  by this time robots are doing all the less attractive work, and humans do only the creative work…so there are no slaves…there is little inequality, though some, with limits set whereby no person be allowed to consume or own more than five times the typical level…they can set up trusts to defer their consumption over years, should they come by a great windfall, i.e write a hit song, movie, book, or invention etc…and everyone is supported in their creative pursuits independant of how commercial they are during the process i.e rather than only rewarding the successful with obscene wealth, while the rest remain poor, the system more or less spreads the windfalls over all those actively striving within the field to contribute…so researchers had access to funds because the few successes didn’t get to keep all the windfalls of their success…i.e determinism was accepted, the absence of free will or meritocracy….allowing a focus on effort and sacrifice, while making allowances for human nature which required inequality to motivate people to reach their full potential 

 

And everyone got laid no matter how lucky they were in other areas…by now everyone was born healthy, attractive, and neuroses free…there was little negative stress, as there was always the best remedy available…sex…orgasm…spontaneous expressions of sexual energy…with reproduction by now, as far as anyone could remember, completely regulated, there was no fear of unwanted pregnancy..pregnancies were all planned and controlled under optimal conditions, and based on eugenic criteria…and STD’s had been eradicated with nano-technology, along with all other viruses and so on…the nano-bots were basically man-made viruses that killed all other viruses and any bacteria etc they were designed to target…this is where the EPs on earth got their technology from…a society that had already achieved complete EP levels millenia ago… 

 

what may interest readers is the aliens research findings that indicated that in every ecosystem in every solar system they had studied, it was humanoid type mammals that rised to the top of the foodchain etc, and became the most sophisticated species…nowhere had reptiles, birds, or aquatic animals reached developed as far as the mammals that evolved into humanoids. More or less around the universe there was a really limited variety of humanoid life-forms on the top of the pile…in charge…developing technology, and becoming the means of a evolution, introducing, where they survived long enough, positive selection into the evolutionary menu…there was nothing like the variety that science fiction writers on earth had imagined in their books… 

 

So, in our EP planet, most men had beautiful penises of the perfect proportions, around 7.5 inches long, and no-one would ever think of circumcision (a practice invented during the slave-master systems of relations as a symbolic castration of the male, in submission to their masters, and a symbolic ritual sacrifice of sons to the gods, and worldly masters for their parents, and meant to make masturbation more uncomfortable, producing a build-up of sexual tensions and frustrations, either leading to marriage or rape, either of which would produce more slaves for the slave-masters)…they would simply pull back their foreskins to expose the red-purple of their engorged glans…and the foreskin remained back as long as they remained sexually excited…to return to provide the natural protection at all other times… all persons expressed their entire sexuality, with no represson of bisexuality…meaning boys would be seen wanking off other boys and men, girls would be seen having sex with other girls and women, and usually groups would be having sex, with men being penetrated anally while girls blew them, or they penetrated girls vaginally, or anally…and so on.  Few people payed much attention. Those who were sexually excited by the scenes joined in, or masturbated, and usually someone lent them a hand etc etc All the women had long legs, pert breasts, puffy nipples, lovely arses, pretty clean slits, lovely arseholes etc etc and everyone had a healthy sexual apetite. 

 

Children were allowed to develop at their own pace…there was no age discrimination…in school they completed modules independant of their age cohorts general progress…some sped through some and remained for long times in others…no child was forced to move onto the next module until they had achieved the requirements of the previous, where master of one was required for a start in the next…and no-one defined anyone as superior or inferior based on such stupid measures…so there was no fear of failure, and no need to fear, as inequality was not exploited…at least not excessively…just enough to motivate all to achieve their best, in a balanced and moderated fashion, … to optimalise their life experience rather than maximise some narrow achievement in some narrow field…there was no advertising as such ( vs earth, where some moron who could hit a ball into a small hole consistently would end up earning billions for product placements, advertisements, and other public relations stuff)…in sexual matters children chose their own pace of self-education with interactive learning materials that were as explicit as the child wished, at whatever age…and children chose the pace of their sexual interaction with others…they simply had to voice their displeasure at something sexual when they were approached in a sexual way, and the person would desist…and no fuss was made…there was a zero tolerance towards all forms of violence and these were very enlightened i.e no distinction was made between the forms i.e the means employed…if the intent was coercion through any form of force or manipulation, if any harm was intended, if it was intended to mislead or exploit or abuse another, then it was defined as violence by the legal code…lie detection had reached such a level that no-one could decieve anyone of their intentions and so on…and these were built into all manner of devices, and employed continually in all interactions to prevent any deception, and to eliminate any possible motive for even bothering to try to deceive anyone, including yourself … 

 

Of course aliens from such a culture were horrified at how unjust, unfair, violent, repressed, neurotic, and so on our culture was…the sociologists had of course theoretorcised about the possibility of such barbaric cultures having existed at some point in the past somewhere in the universe, but confronting it face to face was just overwhelming…they had not really been prepared for it by their vague speculations…they themselves taught such things, but had never really believed in their own lessons … 

 

all children were sterilised soon after becoming fertile, and their eggs and sperm harvested for the responsible managed reproduction that formed the basis of this species reproduction…employing advanced genetic screening processes and prediction algorithms to determine the best genetic matches, to allow for an optimal of variety (not the George Bush idiocy as a form of mental diversity crap though!) and diversity in the population, whilst ensuring each child the optimal genetic inheritance to compliment the optimal holistic inheritance… 

 

 

The aliens that made personal visits, however, had to spend years after de-toxing on their own solar systems version of ellis island, a spa-moon isolated from the planets…as this species had not experienced non synergistic interactions with other life forms for millenia…and nano-bots had to be programmed to attack all the pathogens, viruses, bacteria and so on they had come into contact with…a sort of designed programmable immune system…and they had time to ponder at how incredibly brutal, selfish, ruthless, and cruel most humans were…happy to know that their ‘seeded’ nano-technology would ensure that this was the last generation of such horrible monsters, and that they had advanced that planet to EP evolution levels within one generation…saving them the thousands of years it might otherwise have taken, if it had managed at all … most likely the humans would have devolved to more monstrous forms, and the small community of EPs would have been rotted out within years…as humans had always done to any groups that had a higher ethic, or opposed the slave-master system and all its religion, and associated ‘noble lies’ and illusions. 

 

 

Alien Psychs fascinated by the insights into a less evolved mind re: Oedipus complex, and its holistic context and how it has become integrated into the slavery society and its products such as religion. Thanatos hardly present in their species anymore. Very little competition in negative selection terms i.e harsh and cruel…observe how unconscious in humans has allocated a mobile cathexis in such a way that the organism derives pleasure, at times, from being harsh and cruel, destructive, and exploitative, treating others as mere means to its own ends, as in rape, which provides for genetic diversity, slavery, racism…in a context in which such cruelty and reduction of others to means to own ends is, evolutionarily speaking, productive, facilitating negative selection, competition to death and enslavement, and rape, allowing individuals and groups with some competitive advantage to leverage this into domination of other individuals and groups…they note the sadistic element in hot sex, using the other as a means to ones own sexual satisfaction, as a sex-object, and how fulfilling such sex is physically, though guilt betrays afterwards, and in many actually prevents them ever experiencing real hot sex, as their super-ego prevents the Id allocating the mobile cathexis in this way, or associates the real pleasure thus allocated with longer term problems, risks, threats, fears, etc……and how such a sadistic element in general life was a necessity at early points in evolution, or at least favourable to the process of negative selection, amplifying one set of genetic competitive advantages with another set of social competitive advantages…the genius of the thing…making a necessity pleasurable and satisfying rather than dissatisfying and displeasing…if you are going to do something you might as well enjoy it…logical…genius…thus unconscious accomodates the need to destroy inherent in all generation of new, novel things, i.e evolutionary process requires it, otherwise world overflows with previous generation, less evolved, less adapted, less optimal experience engines and thus experiences…they observe how artists, writers, and philosohers such as Freud and Nietzsche recongnised this, and marvelled at their genius, for such crude, relatively less evolved beings….and how the poets and searchers of truth, against the massive pressure of their contemporaries to repress and deny all this, fearlessly walked where others feared to tread, driven by their genius and impluse to seek the truth, which was both a massive burden, and then a liberating force, ensuring them a bliss unknown to others, having walked the fine line between madness and being adapted, and having crossed over and back ….they also not the neurotic element in the contemporary humans, which seems to have contradicted the logic and genius of pleasurable masochism…in association with the Oedipus complex…an automatic source of guilt and anxiety for fear of repercussions for a desired and imagined murder of their god-like fathers and mothers, in order to possess the parent as their own sex object, to, like Hamlets Uncle, kill the king to have the queen for themselves…they noted how, in the context of slavery, religions had emerged which exploited this unconscious guilt for their own purposes, redefining this vague anxiety, and fear of the retribution of the god-parent for some terrible crime now repressed to the unconscious i.e the Oedipal murders, repressed, unconscious, but associated so intimately with sexual desire and expression via the original motive for the imagined/desired murders, that the guilt was ever present, and especially associated with sexual desires, which in humans meant it became a constant issue, due to the constancy of their sexual impulses…how religion had exploited this sexual guilt, spun it as original sin, and offered forgiveness from the murdered god…often even eating his body symbolically in an act of  homeopathic? magic…once you eat of the flesh you become one with the god, and he then cannot harm you without harming himself…and gaining psychological control over the masses, as the representatives of an angry god…offering to placate him and gain his services to the benefit of the masses…etc etc…and threaten them with fates worse than death i.e hell for suicide, for depriving their masters of their capital as slaves, and promising eternity in heaven for those who endured their despicable lives, in the interests of the beneficiary classes, until they died in their services…   this and the malice present at a subtle level in daily interactions, finding expression in ‘accidents’  and especially malicious, destructive sexual impulses, expressed mostly by women in the form of annhilating men with their sexual powers over them…dressing provocatively to ensure men realised what they had to offer, and then openly denying them access to the resources available, simply to harm them, as a malicious act, as a sadistic act…though mostly unconsciously, like the bureaucrats enjoying making life difficult for their supposed clients, and most obvious in mobbing, victimisation, tall poppy syndrome etc …and animal cruelty…the most despicably defining human characteristic they observed…the least powerful in human society being animals…how they exploited them so cruelly and heartlessly…this not being motivated by any actual need, no, it was an expression of a masochistic nature which found few other socially accepted outlets in the current society, with slavery officially banned, racism and homophobia repressed, sexism, etc etc all being repressed and regulated…and so it was left to the weakest member of the society to bear the full brunt of human natures terrible impulse to cruelty…apart from similar outlets to those considered earlier…even wars were becoming to uneconomic, and falling from favour…

 

new B H/off to(long)  A (long), D H/off to(long) C (long)

 

new to work on…nicely celtic…i 3,3 H-off to 2, ii3,5__5,5 H-off, iii5 ii5 __ iii5,5 H-off to 4,2,4 

 

Up until the crisis the average age of voters was over 49 !!! re: conscription, minimum youth wage, minimum wage, military service in potential wars etc etc how many people over age of 49 actually sent to Iraq or Afghanistan? 

 

Has a song ever made your day ´On laul kunagi teinud oma paeva´

 

hero pays girls to leave his cams in changing rooms, showers, anywhere he might get a perve…inconspicuous, and to put on their shoes etc…no cool car, or tragic death of beloved younger sibling etc to raise our sympathy for him…but his weakness for pussy, to perve etc, like any addiction, makes him more human and comic for us…he is a sort of shy creative genius, as yet not realised, though early acclaim already means girls show some interest in him…slim, wild hair, not unattractive, always horny and hopeful…so match up with super-cute waitress from dead end town with no prospects, who is captivated by his talents, his awards, that he is someone who is making his way somewhere…obvious sex appeal for him, and appeal for reader as she is automatically sympatico as cute, and as so far not successful, one of us…she is fascinated by his work … he is infatuated with her looks and charm and sex…she is sexually open and warm and friendly and nice and uninhibited and finds sex fun and pleasurable … a real cutey and a minx, healthy attitude to sex and life, 

 

maybe give hero or his girl a robo-pet with potential for marketing from film etc…parrot?  Cat? Dog?

 

In new religious cult a-la Lron Scientology, provide free tests to see who is actually an alien trapped in a human body, and who is human…tell all that they are either definitely aliens … in negative selection process to select new elite for organisation…and tell everyone else that will make up the drones that they are ´unsure´ that they might be, but require further testing etc as many aliens are so completely identified with the human body they adapt that they slip through the process … simply ´noble´lie to keep all hopeful and motivated to participate in organisation…though not completely lie…and no more than they are lieing to future elite…and those people with loads of money or connections are also automatically defined as aliens…i.e offer to free them a-la Lrons O-T as operating thetans … return their alien powers to them, after a long process, mostly pointless, like all religion, but with ethical aspects intended to gain compliance with a higher ethical tone…like Dali lama lie of reincarnation of old buddha, allows organisational leaders to have the authority of their new elites automatically validated and legitimated … as they are superior aliens … they are millenia more evolved than the humans, in every way….just got trapped in bodies after playing some games as experience engines and came to identify so completely with bodies forgot they were actually alien operating thetans participating in a recreational activity … entertainment…. brings us back to alien planet where EP is established already, … and their curiousity for this sect, coming as it does so close to some part of the reality of the situation…and wondering if that is the alien influence coming through…

 

maybe some of humans really are aliens that have broken through to control the unconscious of their experience engines, like the Eps, or are these Eps actually the aliens ???

 

Ha-ha: difference between baby shitting self and adult re: our response, is that the baby has a future…but think about it…THAT is its future!!!

 

Our parents fell in love with Lucy (Lucy in the sky with diamonds LSD) and we fall in love with

Crystal (Crystal meth!)

 

NOTES ADDed TO EP SEQUEL NOTES on wordpress 

 

 

 

 

Hindu Vedanta is my ‘meaning of life, if you like that sort of thing’…One of the Hindu ‘Upanishads’, like ‘Bhava-Gita’. Teaches that the always existent Atman produced the phenomenal world of illusion ‘Maya’ for his own diversion (play). Atman, always was, supreme being, complete and without any desire, need, aim, or motive (?contradiction? i.e desired diversion/play!!)  But point is that the Universe and life has no purpose or aim. It is merely play. a-la MHR ‘experience engine’. MHR without slavery would be no religion, no sexual taboos, no taboo Vs suicide, and definitely would be Eugenics, as a way to enhance the experience. Could be no exploitation, slavery, or reproduction of excessive inequality.  Samsara is the doctrine of transmigration…but MHR again contradictory to speak of Karma…which is also a product of slavery. MANUMISSION !!  Freedom from all forms of slavery, including to Samsara itself!!!

 

 

Character: People, after a conversation with him, initially imagined they had seen through him, gotten the best of him, managed to get him to concede some point…but for weeks after, like the little bits of glass that emerge from the flesh and skin after you have been in a car accident, pieces of his argument would pierce their consciousness, puncturing their being, and gradually they had extremely reluctantly, and against their determined will not to, concede that his argument, as a whole, was compelling…as the pieces that distilled themselves from the initial vagueness of their unconscious, and formed wholes, pieces fitting together at first vaguely and then with the concreteness of pain, … annihilating their own objections, denial, and repressions…leaving them furious with him, desperate for any chance to destroy him, and by that means somehow destroy the validity of his arguments, and their consequences and ramifications.  They sought to deny these revelatory flashes of holistic comprehension, but over time saw that their fears were unfounded..and found they could accommodate his compelling arguments without too much effort, though with great change of their daily habits, of thinking and acting. Often they caught themselves observing their own ‘muscle memory’ and automatic responses, challenging them, questioning them, and rejecting them. It took time. But the point was they had become self-aware of how their own actions fit into a bigger picture, and this holistically informed their enlightened self-interest.  This was of course the exception. Most people just fed their own rage at him, seeking ways to discredit him to themselves and others, and seeking the company of similarly motivated persons, with the shared goal of his destruction. Some quietly recognized his authority, and a few even publicly recognized it, announcing him as THE prophet of all time, and seeking out his company, hoping to help him in his missions. Many did so quietly and secretly. He suddenly found streams of money and other resources entering into his life…and his ventures enjoyed success beyond anything he had imagined possible. He even found love directed towards him, where there had only been rejection, abandonment, and isolation, loneliness…and zero access to sexual resources…so now, as he became known, no longer ignored, he experienced the extremes, where he had only experienced indifference and apathy, now he became suddenly conscious of a mass of hate and love directed towards him, and his sphere. 

 

Oh, he had died so young. Only 700. With so much of life still ahead of him !!! Just a pup! Aliens lived to around 2500 years old, on a planet that was in constant change, due to the several moons and suns, and shifting tectonics…like the geological time sped up on earth, with the same number of great changes occurring regularly every few years. And so they were nomadic by necessity. Minimalist. Functional. They focussed on making the simplest of daily devices into works of superb art, sublimely functional and aesthetic. All their furniture was mobile. Their homes were mobile. Thousands of years ago they had learned to co-ooperate, or they had fought until only the strongest survived, depending on which of the ancient ‘songs’ ‘tales’ ‘myths’ etc you preferred to. But in any case, the conflicts had all been resolved in a pre-historic distant past. The survivors who went on to found the current society had all learned the lessons, and negative selection had filtered out all the instincts and weaknesses that threatened peace, security, and the optimal relationships between people, and between them and their environment. The destructive, counter-productive tendencies had annihilated each other. Some believed that the current gene pool was so undiversified as it  came from a very small population that had survived a great war on their planet. They lived in a golden age, but the price had been paid by untold earlier generations, each learning some lesson, or failing to, and ultimately wisdom became distilled and concentrated among a small group of people, who, living isolated from the general community, as outcasts even, had survived the fates of those who had abandoned them, rejected them, ostracized them. And so the gene pool was quite small. This was a pre-requisite, as anyone who understands evolution, for a new species to emerge…or at least a branch very different from its parent tree… And so the harsh filter of negative selection had been replaced by positive selection by this new group. Only the most adept, talented, healthy, strong, intelligent, emotionally and intellectually, balanced, socially able, emotionally competent, etc were reproduced. All male children, in a lavish ceremony, were sterilized soon after reaching sexual maturity at the age of around 200. Before this their semen was ‘harvested’ in an orgy of sexual abandon where all the girls would dance naked, masturbating themselves, arousing the boys, and then wanking them off into special containers. This carried on on special days over the next few months, until enough semen was collected from which to take the most desirable sperm, to be frozen for later insemination, in a program of responsible and planned reproduction.  The environment was unforgiving. Everything had to be optimalised. And this necessity lead to many inventions, and avoided many others, that plagued the Earth. NOthing was wasted. NO lies or deception. No marketing. No advertising. No formal religion. No taboos associated with slavery. It would be impossible, as genetic inequality had been more or less eliminated for known history.  They had few companion species…one was like a wombat-bear-dog, another was a very large cat, and some very colorful and intelligent birds. No animals were enslaved. No people were. There was no exploitation.  Living so long, their education was spread out over hundreds of years. they learned everything they could glean from their own planet, and those others that their probes encountered….much more than any human could imagine. They became competent at all things, from psychotherapy to cooking and love making, design, music, architecture, engineering, literature.  Their life-spans and challenging environment had long ago reinforced the necessity for eugenics and euthanasia. A maladapted person would be a burden upon their fellows for thousands of years, and endure or suffer it themselves. There was no ‘noble’ lie to prevent people behaving reasonably, and throwing off a dissatisfying existence with the certainty of inheriting a better one i.e they had long ago recognized their own form of ‘Vedanta’, acknowledging life as an experience engine. And responsible reproduction was a necessity, given around 1.5 thousand years of fertility, with only a one year gestation period/conception to birth cycle. And so they had come to their own Eden Protocols millennia ago, when humans were still small rodents seeking cover from dinosaurs…Long before they developed the technology to manage reproduction, they had taboos which were the equivalent form of social technology. They developed sexual habits and behaviors that avoided reproduction, as a norm. Rituals had evolved to cover euthanasia, infanticide, and so on, so that these practices flowed smoothly into the culture and life of the people. . . there was no fear of death…there would be no pain in death,…and nothing lost…they would go to sleep and wake up in the womb to enjoy a good life…time meant nothing in between lives… it was a return to godhead…etc…everyone understood the logic of these rituals, and they were beautiful…no-one dreaded them…all welcomed them as appropriate at the right time… over the millennia the optimal forms of behavior, relating to each other and the universe, technologies, social forms, mores, etc all developed, and had bequeathed the current generation with a utopia only imagined by prophets such as Kim Jestem on EArth. No-one questioned their good fortune. they merely enjoyed it. Well few questioned it. Of course some still harbored the desire to experience things like violence, war etc, as an exquisite form of experience, and this is what the dream producers catered to…virtual reality…or was it…few suspected that what they sold was in fact a reality…someone’s reality…in fact someone on earth’s reality…and this lead to the problem of moral hazard and ‘who benefits’ re: motivations and vested interests in keeping the earth from evolving morally i.e a big lucrative market existed for its experiences…and this often had some authorities questioning whether what still went on on earth was natural, or perhaps encouraged by the entertainment industries on their own planet…and this is what had lead them to send out a few observers to investigate…it was not hard to fit in, as they simply appeared to be the most desirable and beautiful of possible humans, to the general population, and they found themselves enjoying all the benefits of this very soon upon arriving…which itself raised various questions of probity on their part…and so further auditors had been sent to check up on these observers, and so on…and so on… Of course on their own planet sexual abandon, within controlled situations, like recreational drug use etc, were normal. But on earth it brought them in confrontation with the slave-masters representatives…

 

T.V show host on EARth: Well, you know the old saying ‘Death and Taxes’?  Well of course you are aware that I have lawyers who dealt with the first, right?  So I haven’t paid taxes for decades. But what about the second. Well I’m about to let you in on a little secret….

 

Irony on earth was everywhere…shocked the aliens…the people with the least to offer their offspring had the greatest motive to reproduce…loneliness, meaninglessness, failure, desperation to justify their existences…co-dependency issues…and so the ugliest, stupidest, unhealthiest, etc etc had all the kids, while the best candidates often refused to reproduce at all, out of a sense of responsibility to their not-yet-conceived children…but this the aliens could understand…who would want to reproduce the misery, dissatisfaction and suffering they observed to be more or less the general rule for this planet…and how they tortured animals…it was impossible to comprehend…it was disgusting…they could barely contain themselves…and so they met and decided upon a plan of action…it had to be halted…this could not be allowed to go on…even those enjoying themselves immensely as kings, though not much differently to the average person on their own planet, could not accept such a high price for their entertainment, their satisfaction, and so they hit upon the plan…find someone, some group, to be the vehicle for the ethical evolution of this planet…and so they had found Kim Jestem, and Dr Blick and her term of reproduction researchers.

 

Of course people can be taught to trick lie detectors, if trained etc…but the real reason they are not admissible is the exact opposite…that it would mean that the rich would not be able to rely on expensive lawyers and loopholes to get off when they are guilty…that is the real reason…the rest is mere specious sophistry to throw us off the true motivation, the real reasons. 

 

 

 

 

 

ha ha

 

Ha Ha (including attempts at use of humor to address animal cruelty issues)

 

rock band signs up to play at ‘alcohol and drug free festival’ and really bummed out when they turn up…they thought it was a ‘free drug and alcohol festival’!

 

S & M madam to client ‘hand over the money now, or NO-one gets hurt!’

 

‘Store in a cool dry place’ always reminds me of my ex-wifes vagina. And store below minus 6 degrees reminds me of her heart!!

 

30 y.o thinks he is paying her a compliment when he says “I hope I look as good as you do when I’M 40!’ (the joke is she is only 35!)

 

All that rubbish Osho went on about, before his cult poisoned the town water supply and we discovered he was addicted to more different drugs than most pharmacists could name…going on that the last thing we think about at night will be the first thing we think about in the morning…what about all those brilliant ideas, all those witty jokes etc I have just before I fall asleep? I never can remember them in the morning…I mean, this routine is proof of that!!

 

Jain builders carefully dig out and put aside insects…which are quickly gobbled up by bigger insects which are then eaten by birds !!

 

Interviewer to EP author…I hear they have put a jihad out on you? Author: really, wow, so you mean, like, someone has actually read some of my stuff! Cool!

 

Ryan says ‘I have 50 hours work, loads of money, but no girlfriend to spend it on’ and in the same context utters ‘I hope I am never so desperate that I will PAY for sex!’.

 

She likes to mix something cheap with something expensive…hence ALL her clothes are expensive (i.e SHE is the cheap bit!)

 

Imagine being hired as a motivational speaker for a euthanasia convention!

 

I have a philosophical question for you. Why do stupid people behave stupidly? Re: fatuous notions of free will! Why do ignorant people act as if they don’t know any better?

 

She wants lingering looks, I want to linger and look at her crotch as she bends over!

 

I stopped talking to myself. Why? Because I stopped listening, and I cannot stand it when someone ignores me!!!

 

Origins of Nazi ‘zieg heil’ salute. Hitler asks everyone to put their hand up if they want to be part of a master race with the right to enslave all other nations, steal their stuff, rape their women, and so on. And everyone puts up their hand!

 

They say you first need to be scared of something, in order to show courage. Well that means I am HALF way there already!!

 

Hey, women, … they make you work night and day to buy a nice house, and then furnish it with lots of nice things, most of which you have no idea what to do with…and then they want to go OUT all the time???

 

Media makes big deal of two girls , tatu, who kiss in their video. They claim they are pretending to be lesbian to get attention. What hypocrisy. Pop stars have been pretending to like girls for years…look at Elton John and George Michaels for example!

 

A Russian girl told me that all her friends had already had plastic surgery. I joked to myself how willing girls were to put foreign objects in their bodies permanently, but so wary of letting someone put a foreign object into their bodies for just a few minutes!

 

Voice-over ‘These women feel lovely and warm in these fur coats, and so did the poor wretched miserable creatures who used to wear them’ … go to shot of anorexic super-models

 

voice-over ‘he wants you to think he is a harmless, cute bunny…but he is a super-fiend bent on world domination’…’ Bunny: ‘ no, I am just a cute friendly bunny’…’ voice-over ‘ha, got ya, bunny’s can’t talk’…Bunny ‘Oh fuck’…and hops off

 

voice-over ‘ these pathetic creatures are taken from their natural environment, and suffer terrible overpopulation due to uncontrolled reproduction…resulting in them pecking and biting each other’…go to shot of yuppies in over-crowded night-club bitching etc about each other…

 

I fully respect her position ‘I’d rather go bare than wear fur’…I fully appreciate a nice shaved…(the interviewers fears the worst and quickly pulls the mic away from the young man he is interviewing at the PETA rally…

 

voice-over: There is a sport where they send a pack of dumb, inbred, brutal, vicious animals after some poor, vulnerable, defenseless animal…and we all pay to see the photos…go to shot of paparazzi chasing after pop-star…

Shot of cute little girl kneeling down in prayer next to her bed, and innocent, charming vision…then we hear her prayer : ‘…and please make all non-believers burn horribly in hell for all eternity, and please god make Alice’s hair all fall out so Ben will want to be my boyfriend, and make Mrs Lee die horribly in a car accident so I won’t get in trouble for not doing my homework, and please god make my breasts grow so Mr Jame’s will think I am sexy and want to fuck me and…’

 

Interviews with artists, politicians, scientists, who all pretend to be speaking nonsensical Scandinavian language i.e all their gestures appear genuine…

 

Have what appear to be serious attempts to explain principles of physics, economics etc, with highly improbable props…i.e absurd…but done as if serious attempts…but completely non-sequitur…

 

Between ‘skits’ have shots of bunnies furiously fucking, moaning filthy sex talk to one another…

 

It’s nothing personal, I told her, I just don’t like fat, ugly, stupid, bitches!

 

At other times show shots of an innocent pussy-cat, but play really sinister music, implying something loathesome!

 

Song: When I hear you, I need to see you, when I see you, I need to touch you, when I touch you, I need to taste you, when I taste you, I need to be deep inside you…

 

I saw the first 30 minutes of Mel Gibson’s ‘Passion of Christ’…how does it end? (re: film was so far from biblical account!)

 

Skit: security guard wandering around museum, thinks he hears a noise from inside one exhibition room, so he goes in…he shines his flashlight around a totally empty room, satisfied there is nothing going on here, and as he exits the room, we see the sign for the exhibition ‘Proof of the existence of ‘God”…

 

Film on animal cruelty ‘ thousands of animals were hurt or killed during filming’…

 

Stalin had to outdo Hitler in EVERYTHING, including the number of Russians he killed!

 

God-ists (thei-ist! Marx-ist etc) complain that there is a ‘humanist’ i.e ‘SCIENTIFIC’ bias in Science!!!! That is like saying their is a God-ist bias in the bible, or an anti-nazi bias in documentaries about the holocaust (the nazi one, not the ones the jews COMMITTED in the old testament!)

 

A girl says to me ‘I don’t want to be hurt again’, so, sensitive guy that I am, I suggest she use a lubricant next time!

 

Guy is all serious and excited. ‘I have just found a way to travel through time’. He looks at his watch. He shows it to his audience. Really hams it up. Holds up finger for their attention. Points to his watch. Then closes eyes and has a look of total concentration on his face. He waits for 30 seconds. Then with a look of triumph he points to his watch. See! I have traveled FORWARDS in time !! He bows to the audience. He notes ‘In the lab, I can travel forward up to 16 hours!’. seee

 

Why is it they have color footage of the Egyptians building the pyramids, but only black and white footage of the Nasa moon landing?

 

Ha ha song: On Christmas eve I saw mum emptying Santa’s sack…

 

I think we must have originated on some other planet as intelligent frogs…how else to account for the saying ‘you catch more flies with honey than… ???

 

Bnnd with great album ready to release auctions off their band name rights to highest bidder i.e if Nokia pays the most, they will call their band ‘Nokia’, which would be great marketing for the brand!

 

Label on kiddy prozac “ all claims as to side-effects arising from this product have so far been settled out of court”

 

skit: guy tells his friend he has found a way to pick up chicks…puppies man…I’ll show you how easy it is to pick up girls if you have a puppy…just watch”. He goes up to a girl in a park and says ‘If you don’t go out with me, see this cute puppy here, well I’m gonna torture it!’…He motions as if he is going to break the puppies neck …

 

t-shirt with a little bird, a donkey, and a pussycat with logo ‘tits, pussy, and ass’

 

I’m wondering when the sequel to ‘The passion of christ’, ‘Passion two’ comes out?!!

 

Song: man singing to cup of tea etc ‘Wish you were beer’!

 

Photo of two dogs rooting with caption ‘everyone loves the underdog!’

 

Song: If he knew what she wants he’d be (thrusts hips sexually) giving it to her’… boom boom …

 

EP

 

Young girl, desperate for money, turns to prostitution for first time. Young man, desperate for sex and warmth, affection, turns to prostitution for the first time…they fall in love…happy ever after…

 

anal parents have left guy too anal to fart, leading to stomach problems, doctors, and medications…simply as taught to be too ashamed of his own body functions

 

Character knows what women want. Benefits. So every time he gets bored with one he just stops doing all the things he has been doing to keep them. If they really loved him, they would be happy just with his company, hanging around, watching t.v etc. So he proves they don’t really love him, every time. He knows they loved what he did for and with them, rather than loving him per se. they might argue, and get emotional, but all their apparent sentiment dissappears once the benefits dissappear…when he stays at home, eats at home, doesn’t go out on friday or saturday, stays home watching t.v. They are of course welcome to stay with him. But they expect restaurants, nightclubs, dancing, and so on.

 

Characters ultimate fear is one day having reason to live, and thus reason to FEAR death, and reason to NEED job, money etc…as this would make him a slave once more, dependant on employers and others…he would have to wear masks and lie just to protect his family…. he also fears one day giving away or spending all his money, and only THEN finding the perfect partner…with whom he COULD have been happy, just being…and with whom he COULD have just been, being financially independant if he lived modestly…for that was his dream…to find a nice partner who shared his lifestyle…and they could just BE happy together, without worrying about material stuff much…living modestly off his savings…without all the complexities and complications ‘striving’ brings…so each time he is about to give up and splurge, he considers this possibility…once he has decided to splurge, there will be no turning back…once he has no money he will have to die or become a slave… so if he did find that girl too late it would be the ultimate cruelty of fate…

 

It is easier to live if you WANT to die, as death is a sure bet…giving up is the simplest lifestyle…you have nothing to lose (except the right to die, which they CAN and WILL try to take away from you if you let them know you desire death…they fear that the idea will catch on, and, whoops, there go all the slaves…and now who is going to do all the work?

 

The public service ‘investigates’, not with the intention of revealing anything, but simply as a chance to work out face-saving excuses and spin in advance of the public possibly ever finding out…which they are hardly likely to, as who is going to tell them? Who has a motive? Who will risk being ruined by mobbing and victimisation?

 

t.v show producer…takes teenagers etc really crappy, barely legal cars and broken down cars etc, and in teams, they can modify them etc, keeping street legal…are given big budgets…after this they race and winners get to keep other car? Or auctioned off for charity?

 

woman is bored with relationship, tells husband she needs time out, for them to experience new things…he is devastated…but eventually finds a new woman, and is happy…she goes off on sexual adventures etc etc…then at some point realises she is still in love with husband, and, overjoyed, goes back to him, expecting him to be waiting in misery, expecting him to be overjoyed at her return…i.e she lives only in her own world, thinking only of her own feelings, without regard for him…and she returns to find him making passionate love with his new woman…and with absolutely no desire to see her again…

 

t.v producer…series where partners have to identify their partners genitals only by smell and penetration…from line up of couples…i.e they have to penetrate other women, and be penetrated by other men…and if identify correctly win luxury cruise etc

 

character discovers malleable ‘plastique’ material from which he can sculpt and preform entire apartments, with all furniture included, as one piece, ‘seemless’. He also develops a laser hair stying apparatus which uses static electricity and lasers. It calculates algorithms based on sonar measurements of your face and skull!

 

character travels West looking for poor people with deadly diseases about to die…offers them money for their ‘identity’…thus they die but legally they ‘miraculously’ survive and go on to live long lives…only discovered by accident by medical journalist who stumbles upon, thinking he has found some miraculous doctors or clinic… each person is offered a ‘last wish’ as payment…some are idealistic, some sexual, some revenge-based etc…then a ‘new’ them returns to U.S, Europe etc…i.e people taken to ‘clinics’ in Russia etc and ‘return’

 

A suicidal person offers their identity … for sale or just to help someone who ‘wants to live’ have a better chance

 

have really hot, gorgeous, sweet, innocent, charming, sexy, pretty teen who gets off pretending she is a dog…and any guy who wants to fuck her has to pretend HE is a dog…but she is so hot, so orgasmic, the sex so good, that she easily finds guys who will role-play with her…and take her ‘doggie-style’ etc.

 

character sends letters to newspapers ‘why I am going to kill myself’ and becomes celebrity, as whole world tries to track him down to stop him, and he finds massive resonance with millions, while others try to convince him life is worth living…his responses to their responses form a series of editorials which form the basis of the narrative plot of the novel…or a sub-plot…everyone starts suspecting it is their own child, friend, loved-one etc…

 

Book title ‘Stop paying for sex (and stop kidding yourself that you are NOT!)

 

A ‘couple’ always meet on Moscow metro, but it is so loud they never really hear what the other says. They merely imagine they have interpreted the other, and been understood, when in reality they are completely wrong. And yet they repeat such interactions over and over and feel that they are actually communicating. In fact all their ‘responses’ and ‘interpretations’ are non-sequitur. But they leave smiling or empathetic etc as their ‘interpretation’ seemed to make appropriate etc. Sort of deep and significant analogy to real life…

 

Random

 

I don’t mind being dead. But I want an affirmative death, one of my own selection. I want my death to be empowering. My decision. Me rejecting life. You see otherwise death would mean life rejecting ME! It would be a sort of rejection by the universe. And at some level I still labor under that protestant work ethic stuff. That is why we worship success. We feel that the universe has accepted and approved of the successful. It is not just the material stuff they enjoy. It is the feeling of being specially chosen and accepted by the universe…as it it is something that will endure even after death…something special… I want a death chosen by myself on my own terms…and somehow I feel that the mood I am in, the tone of my death, might impact what happens after I am dead…

 

…And deliver us from all god-ists, organised religion, and dogma…

 

Note how the ‘human silos’ have been given more curves.

 

On the river I see a huge old Soviet hovercraft, a submarine, and a kids ‘fun park’ with rides. Old people are dancing to some spanishy rhythms. Females together and couples. A had promised to call on Thursday. He says ‘Sorry’ and ‘Thanks so much’ quite a lot. It is depressing not knowing if I will have a job or will have to leave. This park is down the road from my BKC flat, which I only have for this month. I send SMS’s to A but get no answer. But A says he wants to see ‘Sunny’, to thank her for finding me and to give her a commission. But as it turns out Sunny will not accept any ‘commission’ from him. I am sort of angry with her for that. But maybe she just does not want to be involved when it does not turn out.

 

At Skodmenskaya Metro entrance the queue for tickets continues out under the underpass.

 

At BKC the head teacher will not give me any useful guidelines in writing. She just keeps on going on about ‘CELTA standards’ and ‘CELTA communicative’ as if that should mean anything to anyone with a real university education in ‘Education’ and ESL. Teachers just pretend that the counter-productive interactions the student’s have when following such books are actually productive. Cos they are just so crap, and the interactions so useless. But if you challenge the dogma, you get idiotic replies from idiot-like head teachers without a clue, and just end up being blamed as ‘no-one else is having any problems’, ‘lets see what YOUR problem is’, ‘I will put you down for remedial teaching seminars’ etc etc i.e you end up being treated like the idiot. So of course, NO teacher ever challenges the dogma. They just PRETEND. GO ALONG TO GET ALONG.

 

I teach a course, and not a single lesson. The first lesson provides me with ideas for the rest of the program. So it is usually a bit chaotic and creative. But of course Julia, the head teacher, has learned only ONE way, the CELTA way, and just follows the texts like a trained monkey, no matter how absurdly inappropriate they are. They are her security blanket. They are how she knows she is head teacher. Because she has rote learned this CELTA crap. She has no idea of any alternatives. No motive to even consider them. No reason to doubt the CELTA dogma. She is head priest. Without CELTA she is nothing. So know she is threatening me. If the observation does not go well I won’t have an apartment. Great. Now my ‘sure thing’ is a mere possibility. How on earth am I supposed to be able to concentrate on my lessons when I could be homeless in the next 90 minutes? It is absurd. She does not have the slightest interest in my predicament, nor any empathy for it.

 

Later Julia will try to stop giving me hours, claiming that our agreement was for the flat only, and not for work.

 

At the Metro station near BKC I buy different pasties, trying to discover which one was the spinach one I liked. I got one with liver. YUCK! And after a few other tries with mushroom and so on, do my best to communicate with the lady selling the things, and find out that in fact there is no spinach. The one I liked must have been LEEK!

 

At the Metro stations the smokers of course feel obliged to assert their rights to poison us all by smoking just inside the entrance, so that everyone has to consume their smoke. They could of course smoke just OUTSIDE the entrance, to the side, but that would be as if to accept that they were in fact doing something stupid and toxic! Ah, denial, the most reliable of human traits!

 

I note a ‘Rip Curl’ store in a Moscow suburb. About as far from Australia and any surf culture as I could imagine!

 

The toilet seats are cheap, and the top bits, which people never seem to close anyway, will not stay up by themselves. So they are permanently down. You have to hold it up to use the toilet, or have it sitting against your back, covered in urine. I simply give up and rip the seat covers off, so that the seat bit will actually stay up by itself. Funny, people, how they don’t put the top seat down when they flush, and so spray the whole room with tiny bits of faeces and urine. And yet females make such a point about putting the toilet seat down? While never putting the actual top of the toilet seat down???

 

RE: synchronicity…no surprise that if one person become aware of some connection, pattern etc, that someone else in the world should also…

 

Human evolved greater intelligence as opposable thumbs gave intelligence a real outlet and value re: tools…in any other animal it would not have conferred such advantages, and negative selection would favor mere brute strength etc i.e no application for intelligence, therefore no real value, therefore no advantage therefore it would not be positively selected and accumulate over generations…

 

E=MCsquared means that matter is energy vibrating at the speed of light?

 

Develop Questionnaire re: ‘I love you’ with list of things e.g would you love me IF…

 

Intention of consumers is to enjoy consuming products of animal cruelty, not the cruelty itself…therefore more inconsiderate than evil…but means if another person rapes them without any intention of harming them, but merely to satisfy their own desires, they are no less evil…just inconsiderate…and as have tacitly agreed to opportunism, they are legitimate targets of other opportunists e.g rapists etc…unless they are vegan, which means they have withdrawn their consent for opportunism…having ‘walked away from Omelas’…but all those who remain ‘in Omelas’ have given their consent to opportunism by opportunistically exploiting their power over animals…like the rapist exploits his power over HIS victim…

 

we over-indulge till we experience discomfort, physical or ethical…but once our appetite returns we forget this and repeat the behaviors over and over

 

When we are stoned we have the definite ‘feeling’ that we understand the meaning of life etc, and can explain it simply…but when we are sober we cannot recollect this explanation…we can only recall that we were certain of having it…Sommerset Maughm’s character on Opium has a similar experience in that he is certain he COULD answer all the questions, but feels no compulsion to do so…preferring NOT to… which raises MY question re: life as experience engine…at such times the ‘veil’ is lifted, and perhaps we realise that WERE we to look behind it, the universe would dissolve FOR US…as it is, as in the Vedanta and my own SC, merely A GAME…

 

Evolution, THRU flesh, to virtual reality? i.e MY dialectic of material universe being ‘fake’ and digital being the ‘real’ universe i.e the universe is coming to know itself through digital technology…flesh world is the illusion and digital the reality…note that DNA is a form of digital technology, and it produces flesh life as we know it…and virtual worlds can be pure bliss, without the NEED for any pain…

 

Note the ‘resentiment’ of Christianity i.e the MEEK will inherit the earth, and the rich cannot get into heaven i.e revenge of the meek upon their betters…this is what Nietzsche despised about Christianity…note how the working classes took their ‘revenge’ upon their betters, as during the Pol Pot ‘killing fields’ …. Daoism also same resentiment…expressed as a defining of progress as going backwards i.e becoming simple, ignorant, poor !! i.e failure as success, inferiority as superiority…all reflexive of resentment, envy, jealousy of the lesser for their betters…

 

Why Peter the ‘Great’? He was ruthless, brutal, unscrupulous, and arbitrary, responsible for countless deaths. Why not then ‘Hitler the Great?’. Tzar Peter gave a soldier he liked some ‘oil’ concession’. He got rich as, and built a palace opposite the Kremlin. Fabulously wealthy. Like todays oil barons, who weasle some rights or concessions from corrupt bureacrats and politicians, and get to exploit what are naturally public resources for their private gain.

 

The famous ‘gambler’s argument’ is really a non-argument. It shows to what desperate measures god-ists much reach. They say that as you can’t be sure, it’d be better to bet on the safe side, and be a god-ist too. If you are right, you go to heaven. If you are wrong, well, all sorts of bad shit can happen to you, like hell. But when you consider this pseudo-argument you see it is really an ‘argument’ for ALL superstition…in fact it is not an ARGUMENT as such, it is actually THE BASIS OF ALL SUPERSTITION…presented as if it is some sort of rational, logical, reasonable position. The reason all superstitions have found followers is that you can never really be sure if what all those other people appear to believe, is actually true or not. So why take chances? Best just to sacrifice a few virgins, just to keep on the safe side!!!

 

For use in new novel

 

Sub-plot: we follow Soviet officials desperately searching through a German palace or monastery, after invading Eastern Germany…their desperation and excitement is clear…they are plain clothed, but ordering Red Army units around arrogantly, indicating their own power and seniority…status…it is clear when they find what they are looking for, and how important it is…as they leave the room with it another unit of guards steps into the doorways with the light behind them, and they begin firing automatic weapons into the large vault / room…killing everyone inside, anyone who also saw what the secret police etc men had recovered, thus leaving no trace of this episode…and this very secretive and powerful group then head off in a convoy … we see them arriving in the golden halls of the Kremlin, and it is clear this is Stalin’s own police…and he is jubilant and glowing with joy when he gets his ‘prize’… and maybe he has the men who deliver the package killed too? And the entire guard sent off to siberia? But one escapes to tell the tale… and we, the audience, are left wondering what the ‘prize’ is…link to Akhenaton, Moses, Hitler, Stalin…then this prize ends up in one of the deepest vaults of the Hermitage…and only a lowly maintenance man has any idea of its connection with Stalin…and thus its value…and it is he that tells his daughter, a beautiful girl who often plays among the Hermitage artifacts…who grow up to be a art historian come adventurer … and becomes involved in our plot…During her investigations, she comes across some old men who tell of some old gossip of a group of historians being sent to the gulag for no apparent reason, after having worked for Stalin on some project, and of entire groups of guards and administrators ‘disappearing’ in connection with the same secret…but most people just rejected as tales, and imagined there must have been some other more mundane political reason for the deportations etc…

 

The sort of abject depression a buddha mind would experience, with no masturbatory false hopes for life, might lead to a chemical reaction in the brain, setting off a chain of software changes which produce a change in the hardware i.e dormant capacities of the brain become active, producing all sorts of new capacities a-la ‘super-powers’…only after going through intense stages of honesty and acceptance of the truth and rejection of reality i.e cannot validate reality so reject it like Buddha, whilst seeking ‘solutions’….and this is sort of ‘Nietzschean super-man’ i.e these changes represent a new sort of human…even produces genetic transformations which appear in his sperm…and an automatic reversal of his past vasectomy…he regenerates tissue to become as virile and youthful as a teenager in all ways….and irrestistible to females, who unconsciously sense his transformations, and that THIS, HE is the future…and so they crave to be the recipticle of his semen…to be the vessel of the new race of humans…AND IT IS THIS THAT THE ARCHETYPE OF THE ‘HOLY GRAIL’ UNCONSCIOUSLY SOUGHT AFTER…THE ‘GRAIL’ IS A VESSEL THAT CARRIES THE LIFE-BLOOD OF THE NEW RACE…and only by going through so much ‘reality’ could it have been ‘activated’…our hero had welcomed death, in purely selfish terms…but had endured like Buddha out of a desire to serve others, to try to educate and enlighten, and thus ‘save’ others…many times he had felt a joy ‘Oh sweet chariot, comin’ forth to carry me home’ that death was close, but then he felt a sense of responsibility…and each time this sequence had triggered something in his brain and genes…dormancies were awoken, by the particular sets of hormones, and firing of neurons, associated with these feelings, and resolve, against his own selfish desires, to endure life longer, if only to complete his works…this conscientiousness and empathy for all living things…it had evolved over millenia, and only become strong in this individual due to the holistic inheritance it experienced…and it was the FIRST of its kind…the first activation…buddha’s had come close, but had never experienced this particular constellation… and he it was…

 

Character first employs new powers to make vegan lifestyle cheap and enjoyable…and laces all products with ‘immunity’ to new viruses he will release later…so that only vegans will survive…covert war against non-vegans…painless death results…

 

we need to really feel our values deeply, to know WHY we subscribe to them, to reinforce them when it is easy to, so that when times come when it is difficult, when we must make sacrifices for them, we can do so as muscle memory, with no hesitations or doubts i.e long term vision…but question, if it is no OUR PERSONAL eternity, is the vision motivating? i.e one thing that our great grandchildren will live in utopia…but better still if WE will BE those actual grandchildren!!! i.e reincarnation…eternal life…etc

 

A circle does not begin or end at any point…it only comes into being once your have completed it…before then it is just a line…a concept…in the imagination…

 

Is it possible to have awareness without desire? And without the displeasure of boredom?

 

It is hard to get over Bono’s lines in that ‘aid for africa’ song … ‘So tonite thank god its them, instead of you’…typical Irish catholic…thank god he is torturing others and not you…nice god that … no alternative seems to occur to Bono…just gratefulness that his god has chose to torture someone else and not HIM!…and for that he is grateful…and apparently we are all supposed to be grateful that his god choses other people to torture, rather than us in the west! Nice guy that bono, hey!!

 

Band names

 

resolve (as in …’resolve itself to a dew’ from Hamlets ‘To be or not to be’ )

 

Songs

 

i thought my sadness was a house, so I moved. I thought my sadness was a street, and so I walked away. I thought my sadness was a town, and so I left it. I thought my sadness was a city, and so I … I thought….was a country, and so I … I thought…was a continent, and so I flew away. But my misery is a planet, and there is only one way to leave it, behind!

 

What’s my motivation, I can’t remember my lines. They say you’re doing well, if you’re only screaming / lost / desperate HALF the time. But is that really good enough? It’s good enough for those who want us to believe it. They feed us just enough lies and myths, Just enough so that we won’t leave (final exits).

 

There is nothing here but…we have nothing to fear but…my patience wearing thin, I wear it on my sleave, it’s wearing through,…we live for dreams that will never be…we live for visions we will never see…thoughts have you and me…I never sold old cos no-one ever made me a good enough offer…you sell your souls so cheaply, a house, a car, and wifey… I could never find honest work for honest pay, and so I dream my time away…most things insightful are hurtful…raising doubts when you want to raise your spirits…so don’t ask me anything, even talk to me…While I wasn’t listening they…while I wasn’t watching they…while I wasn’t thinking they… What would you, if asked, tell of me? What would you sell of me? Pray tell me, what do you think of me, and DO you ever think of me?…Ever been on the brink like me? Ever began to like me, despite me? Ever known anyone LIKE me?

 

I need a new itch to scratch, a new bitch, some new snatch…

 

It’s easy for others to…., when others pay the price, I’m walking away from Omelas, Life’s not worth living if paid by other’s sacrifice.

 

It is true that stars can shine most brightly in the blackest of skies

 

Scientology ‘fair game’, Catholic and Islamic ‘papal bulls and fatwahs’. And Osho’s sect poisoning town water over some dispute! Shows nature of religion. Join us or we will kill you!

 

Make the world a better place, give honesty, kindness and justice a place, in your heart

 

Yahweh tortures child to death for 7 days for ‘ sins’ of its father King David i.e he killed Uriah to take his wife as his own … King David killed 2/3 of all Moabites after he defeated them

 

All language reflexive of slave society…re-inforces / naturalises / normalises / internalises from earliest age all notions necessary for slaves to accept slavery…no alternative way to communicate without re-inforcing all slavery concepts and conditions…tribes, kingdoms, then states and nations all promoted own languages as means of control, limiting movements of serfs and flow of information, and kept secret languages of latin etc for church and state, so commoners could not participate in discourses politically or intellectually…had no idea what was going on…

 

last 6 months of life medical treatment in U.S costs between 25k and 50k

 

SS belt-buckle ‘ Gott mit uns’

 

Gorbachev commented that only 5% of the communist party were actively in favour of Glasnost…indicating what I noted re: politics…that only need marginal voters to change voting patterns as tends to be 50-50 and passive…gives hope for EP policies…so forget mainstream, and focus on minority of more enlightened etc

 

Ha Ha (including attempts at use of humor to address animal cruelty issues)

 

rock band signs up to play at ‘alcohol and drug free festival’ and really bummed out when they turn up…they thought it was a ‘free drug and alcohol festival’!

 

S & M madam to client ‘hand over the money now, or NO-one gets hurt!’

 

‘Store in a cool dry place’ always reminds me of my ex-wifes vagina. And store below minus 6 degrees reminds me of her heart!!

 

30 y.o thinks he is paying her a compliment when he says “I hope I look as good as you do when I’M 40!’ (the joke is she is only 35!)

 

All that rubbish Osho went on about, before his cult poisoned the town water supply and we discovered he was addicted to more different drugs than most pharmacists could name…going on that the last thing we think about at night will be the first thing we think about in the morning…what about all those brilliant ideas, all those witty jokes etc I have just before I fall asleep? I never can remember them in the morning…I mean, this routine is proof of that!!

 

Jain builders carefully dig out and put aside insects…which are quickly gobbled up by bigger insects which are then eaten by birds !!

 

Interviewer to EP author…I hear they have put a jihad out on you? Author: really, wow, so you mean, like, someone has actually read some of my stuff! Cool!

 

Ryan says ‘I have 50 hours work, loads of money, but no girlfriend to spend it on’ and in the same context utters ‘I hope I am never so desperate that I will PAY for sex!’.

 

She likes to mix something cheap with something expensive…hence ALL her clothes are expensive (i.e SHE is the cheap bit!)

 

Imagine being hired as a motivational speaker for a euthanasia convention!

 

I have a philosophical question for you. Why do stupid people behave stupidly? Re: fatuous notions of free will! Why do ignorant people act as if they don’t know any better?

 

She wants lingering looks, I want to linger and look at her crotch as she bends over!

 

I stopped talking to myself. Why? Because I stopped listening, and I cannot stand it when someone ignores me!!!

 

Origins of Nazi ‘zieg heil’ salute. Hitler asks everyone to put their hand up if they want to be part of a master race with the right to enslave all other nations, steal their stuff, rape their women, and so on. And everyone puts up their hand!

 

They say you first need to be scared of something, in order to show courage. Well that means I am HALF way there already!!

 

Hey, women, … they make you work night and day to buy a nice house, and then furnish it with lots of nice things, most of which you have no idea what to do with…and then they want to go OUT all the time???

 

Media makes big deal of two girls , tatu, who kiss in their video. They claim they are pretending to be lesbian to get attention. What hypocrisy. Pop stars have been pretending to like girls for years…look at Elton John and George Michaels for example!

 

A Russian girl told me that all her friends had already had plastic surgery. I joked to myself how willing girls were to put foreign objects in their bodies permanently, but so wary of letting someone put a foreign object into their bodies for just a few minutes!

 

Voice-over ‘These women feel lovely and warm in these fur coats, and so did the poor wretched miserable creatures who used to wear them’ … go to shot of anorexic super-models

 

voice-over ‘he wants you to think he is a harmless, cute bunny…but he is a super-fiend bent on world domination’…’ Bunny: ‘ no, I am just a cute friendly bunny’…’ voice-over ‘ha, got ya, bunny’s can’t talk’…Bunny ‘Oh fuck’…and hops off

 

voice-over ‘ these pathetic creatures are taken from their natural environment, and suffer terrible overpopulation due to uncontrolled reproduction…resulting in them pecking and biting each other’…go to shot of yuppies in over-crowded night-club bitching etc about each other…

 

I fully respect her position ‘I’d rather go bare than wear fur’…I fully appreciate a nice shaved…(the interviewers fears the worst and quickly pulls the mic away from the young man he is interviewing at the PETA rally…

 

voice-over: There is a sport where they send a pack of dumb, inbred, brutal, vicious animals after some poor, vulnerable, defenseless animal…and we all pay to see the photos…go to shot of paparazzi chasing after pop-star…

Shot of cute little girl kneeling down in prayer next to her bed, and innocent, charming vision…then we hear her prayer : ‘…and please make all non-believers burn horribly in hell for all eternity, and please god make Alice’s hair all fall out so Ben will want to be my boyfriend, and make Mrs Lee die horribly in a car accident so I won’t get in trouble for not doing my homework, and please god make my breasts grow so Mr Jame’s will think I am sexy and want to fuck me and…’

 

Interviews with artists, politicians, scientists, who all pretend to be speaking nonsensical Scandinavian language i.e all their gestures appear genuine…

 

Have what appear to be serious attempts to explain principles of physics, economics etc, with highly improbable props…i.e absurd…but done as if serious attempts…but completely non-sequitur…

 

Between ‘skits’ have shots of bunnies furiously fucking, moaning filthy sex talk to one another…

 

It’s nothing personal, I told her, I just don’t like fat, ugly, stupid, bitches!

 

At other times show shots of an innocent pussy-cat, but play really sinister music, implying something loathesome!

 

Song: When I hear you, I need to see you, when I see you, I need to touch you, when I touch you, I need to taste you, when I taste you, I need to be deep inside you…

 

I saw the first 30 minutes of Mel Gibson’s ‘Passion of Christ’…how does it end? (re: film was so far from biblical account!)

 

Skit: security guard wandering around museum, thinks he hears a noise from inside one exhibition room, so he goes in…he shines his flashlight around a totally empty room, satisfied there is nothing going on here, and as he exits the room, we see the sign for the exhibition ‘Proof of the existence of ‘God”…

 

Film on animal cruelty ‘ thousands of animals were hurt or killed during filming’…

 

Stalin had to outdo Hitler in EVERYTHING, including the number of Russian s he killed!

 

God-ists (thei-ist! Marx-ist etc) complain that there is a ‘humanist’ i.e ‘SCIENTIFIC’ bias in Science!!!! That is like saying their is a God-ist bias in the bible, or an anti-nazi bias in documentaries about the holocaust (the nazi one, not the ones the jews COMMITTED in the old testament!)

 

A girl says to me ‘I don’t want to be hurt again’, so, sensitive guy that I am, I suggest she use a lubricant next time!

 

Guy is all serious and excited. ‘I have just found a way to travel through time’. He looks at his watch. He shows it to his audience. Really hams it up. Holds up finger for their attention. Points to his watch. Then closes eyes and has a look of total concentration on his face. He waits for 30 seconds. Then with a look of triumph he points to his watch. See! I have traveled FORWARDS in time !! He bows to the audience. He notes ‘In the lab, I can travel forward up to 16 hours!’. seee

 

Why is it they have color footage of the Egyptians building the pyramids, but only black and white footage of the Nasa moon landing?

 

Ha ha song: On Christmas eve I saw mum emptying Santa’s sack…

 

I think we must have originated on some other planet as intelligent frogs…how else to account for the saying ‘you catch more flies with honey than… ???

 

Bnnd with great album ready to release auctions off their band name rights to highest bidder i.e if Nokia pays the most, they will call their band ‘Nokia’, which would be great marketing for the brand!

 

Label on kiddy prozac “ all claims as to side-effects arising from this product have so far been settled out of court”

 

skit: guy tells his friend he has found a way to pick up chicks…puppies man…I’ll show you how easy it is to pick up girls if you have a puppy…just watch”. He goes up to a girl in a park and says ‘If you don’t go out with me, see this cute puppy here, well I’m gonna torture it!’…He motions as if he is going to break the puppies neck …

 

t-shirt with a little bird, a donkey, and a pussycat with logo ‘tits, pussy, and ass’

 

I’m wondering when the sequel to ‘The passion of christ’, ‘Passion two’ comes out?!!

 

Song: man singing to cup of tea etc ‘Wish you were beer’!

 

Photo of two dogs rooting with caption ‘everyone loves the underdog!’

 

Song: If he knew what she wants he’d be (thrusts hips sexually) giving it to her’… boom boom …

 

EP

 

Young girl, desperate for money, turns to prostitution for first time. Young man, desperate for sex and warmth, affection, turns to prostitution for the first time…they fall in love…happy ever after…

 

anal parents have left guy too anal to fart, leading to stomach problems, doctors, and medications…simply as taught to be too ashamed of his own body functions

 

Character knows what women want. Benefits. So every time he gets bored with one he just stops doing all the things he has been doing to keep them. If they really loved him, they would be happy just with his company, hanging around, watching t.v etc. So he proves they don’t really love him, every time. He knows they loved what he did for and with them, rather than loving him per se. they might argue, and get emotional, but all their apparent sentiment dissappears once the benefits dissappear…when he stays at home, eats at home, doesn’t go out on friday or saturday, stays home watching t.v. They are of course welcome to stay with him. But they expect restaurants, nightclubs, dancing, and so on.

 

Characters ultimate fear is one day having reason to live, and thus reason to FEAR death, and reason to NEED job, money etc…as this would make him a slave once more, dependant on employers and others…he would have to wear masks and lie just to protect his family…. he also fears one day giving away or spending all his money, and only THEN finding the perfect partner…with whom he COULD have been happy, just being…and with whom he COULD have just been, being financially independant if he lived modestly…for that was his dream…to find a nice partner who shared his lifestyle…and they could just BE happy together, without worrying about material stuff much…living modestly off his savings…without all the complexities and complications ‘striving’ brings…so each time he is about to give up and splurge, he considers this possibility…once he has decided to splurge, there will be no turning back…once he has no money he will have to die or become a slave… so if he did find that girl too late it would be the ultimate cruelty of fate…

 

It is easier to live if you WANT to die, as death is a sure bet…giving up is the simplest lifestyle…you have nothing to lose (except the right to die, which they CAN and WILL try to take away from you if you let them know you desire death…they fear that the idea will catch on, and, whoops, there go all the slaves…and now who is going to do all the work?

 

The public service ‘investigates’, not with the intention of revealing anything, but simply as a chance to work out face-saving excuses and spin in advance of the public possibly ever finding out…which they are hardly likely to, as who is going to tell them? Who has a motive? Who will risk being ruined by mobbing and victimisation?

 

t.v show producer…takes teenagers etc really crappy, barely legal cars and broken down cars etc, and in teams, they can modify them etc, keeping street legal…are given big budgets…after this they race and winners get to keep other car? Or auctioned off for charity?

 

woman is bored with relationship, tells husband she needs time out, for them to experience new things…he is devastated…but eventually finds a new woman, and is happy…she goes off on sexual adventures etc etc…then at some point realises she is still in love with husband, and, overjoyed, goes back to him, expecting him to be waiting in misery, expecting him to be overjoyed at her return…i.e she lives only in her own world, thinking only of her own feelings, without regard for him…and she returns to find him making passionate love with his new woman…and with absolutely no desire to see her again…

 

t.v producer…series where partners have to identify their partners genitals only by smell and penetration…from line up of couples…i.e they have to penetrate other women, and be penetrated by other men…and if identify correctly win luxury cruise etc

 

character discovers malleable ‘plastique’ material from which he can sculpt and preform entire apartments, with all furniture included, as one piece, ‘seemless’. He also develops a laser hair stying apparatus which uses static electricity and lasers. It calculates algorithms based on sonar measurements of your face and skull!

 

character travels West looking for poor people with deadly diseases about to die…offers them money for their ‘identity’…thus they die but legally they ‘miraculously’ survive and go on to live long lives…only discovered by accident by medical journalist who stumbles upon, thinking he has found some miraculous doctors or clinic… each person is offered a ‘last wish’ as payment…some are idealistic, some sexual, some revenge-based etc…then a ‘new’ them returns to U.S, Europe etc…i.e people taken to ‘clinics’ in Russia etc and ‘return’

 

A suicidal person offers their identity … for sale or just to help someone who ‘wants to live’ have a better chance

 

have really hot, gorgeous, sweet, innocent, charming, sexy, pretty teen who gets off pretending she is a dog…and any guy who wants to fuck her has to pretend HE is a dog…but she is so hot, so orgasmic, the sex so good, that she easily finds guys who will role-play with her…and take her ‘doggie-style’ etc.

 

character sends letters to newspapers ‘why I am going to kill myself’ and becomes celebrity, as whole world tries to track him down to stop him, and he finds massive resonance with millions, while others try to convince him life is worth living…his responses to their responses form a series of editorials which form the basis of the narrative plot of the novel…or a sub-plot…everyone starts suspecting it is their own child, friend, loved-one etc…

 

Book title ‘Stop paying for sex (and stop kidding yourself that you are NOT!)

 

A ‘couple’ always meet on Moscow metro, but it is so loud they never really hear what the other says. They merely imagine they have interpreted the other, and been understood, when in reality they are completely wrong. And yet they repeat such interactions over and over and feel that they are actually communicating. In fact all their ‘responses’ and ‘interpretations’ are non-sequitur. But they leave smiling or empathetic etc as their ‘interpretation’ seemed to make appropriate etc. Sort of deep and significant analogy to real life…

 

We dream without intention, and have compulsive thoughts i.e ‘thoughts have US’…

 

If you like someone, you define their violence as passion, if you don’t like them you define it as psychotic/aggression…

 

The ‘traditional’ dress of some Jews is just as provocative as the Swastika i.e it validates the old testament holocaust as much as the swastika does the more recent one…but their right to dress in that way is protected by law, whereas in many countries the swastika, let alone an SS uniform, is banned…and the New Testament has a god-man murdered by the Jews, and his divinity denied by them…which is as inciteful of hate as any Nazi propaganda…

 

Any attempts at validating life via cost-benefit analysis leaves people needing to refer to some after-life benefit just to balance the books! We must refer to some future ‘pay-day’ where we will recover our sunken costs…

 

Concept of ‘sexual perversion’ is a non-concept i.e implicit in it is the assumption that sexual desires and acts serve some purpose…and some acts thus represent a ‘perversion’ of that purpose…

 

Clinical depression as the lack of desire for desire…the rejection of desire and life… re: buddha

 

Women won’t have sex with men they actually WANT to have sex with, because he won’t pay (marriage, dates, dinner, drinks, children, home), and so men are forced to pay women who do NOT want to have sex with them, for sex…and women will claim this shows how perverted MEN are!

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    Towards Universal Holistically Informed Consent and the elimination of all forms of violence:Holistic Interrogations and revelations concerning The Reality Of Our Natures And The Nature Of Our Realities (TROONATNOOR). The Holistic Philosopher. The Philosopher-Prophet of The Eden Protocols. Kim Jestem ?

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